The Handmaid’s Tale Chapter 32: What She Keeps Under the Mattress | Banned Books Comedy
Rita's cutting radishes into little Aztec hearts and Offred just wants a match. That's it, that's the whole ask, and somehow it turns into the most loaded transaction in the house. This chapter gives us a stolen cigarette, a hidden plan, and a commander who wants credit for building the world he broke.
This episode includes AI-voiced content, including our trusty fact-checking robot, Robot.
Banned Camp is a comedy podcast where we read banned books chapter by chapter — we don't read ahead, so you're discovering the story with us.
Things To Listen For:
- Dan calls his shot early: someone in this book is going to cut themselves, and he wants credit if he's right
- Robot traces the Marthas back to Luke 10 and roasts Martha Stewart along the way
- The Commander explains why "better" never means better for everyone, and Dan explains what he'd have asked for instead
- A detour through Real Sex, powerful men, and dominatrix economics that somehow loops back to who really holds the power in this house
Why was The Handmaid's Tale banned?
This chapter's version of the Commander explaining away a system built on controlling women's bodies, paired with the quiet menace of Rita's "burn the house down" line, is exactly the kind of content that gets books like this pulled from shelves. It's not the sex or the violence that scares people, it's how reasonable the man justifying it sounds.
If this is your first episode, you're fine starting here. Our fact-checking Robot catches you up fast, then we read the next chapter (spoilers).
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Disclaimer
Banned Camp features readings and discussions of banned books for the purpose of criticism, commentary, education, and entertainment, in accordance with fair use guidelines.
The material used from the book The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood is shared under these principles, with the intent of provoking thought and discussion about literature, censorship, and societal issues. The original work remains fully owned by its copyright holders, and we strongly encourage listeners to purchase a copy here to experience the book in its entirety.
https://bookshop.org/a/20953/9780385490818
This podcast is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or officially connected to Margaret Atwood, her estate, or the publishers of The Handmaid's Tale. Any monetization of the podcast is separate from the copyrighted material discussed.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why was The Handmaid's Tale banned?
The Handmaid's Tale has been challenged or banned in American schools and libraries every single year since its publication in 1985. It was the most challenged book in the United States in 2023. It has been targeted for profanity, sexually explicit content, and content deemed "offensive to Christians." But the deeper reason is that Margaret Atwood showed what happens when a government uses religion, tradition, and "protecting families" as justification for stripping women of their rights, their names, and their autonomy. That's the part that actually scares book banners, because it looks a lot like Tuesday.
Is there a podcast that reads The Handmaid's Tale chapter by chapter?
That's us. Banned Camp reads a different banned book every season, one chapter at a time — neither host has read ahead, so you're discovering the story together in real time. Season 11 covers The Handmaid's Tale, and every episode includes the chapter reading, discussion, a fact-checking Robot, and a segment on why books get banned.
Do I need to start Banned Camp from the beginning?
No. Every episode opens with Robot's recap of the previous chapter, so you can jump in anywhere. Most listeners tell us they started mid-season and went back to the beginning after they were hooked.
Why does Offred want a match in The Handmaid's Tale?
In Chapter 32, Offred trades a small favor from Serena Joy for a single cigarette and a match, then spends the whole walk back to her room planning what to do with them, from smoking it to eating it to hiding it in her mattress. Banned Camp digs into why one match feels like this much power on this week's episode of their Season 11 reading.
Topics Covered:
The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood, Chapter 32, Jennifer Davis, Dan Schulz, Robot, Beowulf Rochlen, Rita, Serena Joy, the Commander, Ofglen, Cora, power and control, quiet resistance, complicity, banned books, banned books podcast, book banning, censorship, literary analysis, comedy podcast
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Welcome to Bandcamp.
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I'm Jennifer And I'm Dan, and this is the podcast where we read banned books out loud, and then we try to figure out why they were banned in the first place.
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This season, we're reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, and you can consider this a quick spoiler warning because Jennifer is about to start reading from the book out loud word for word.
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If you're new here, you can jump in right here.
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You're gonna be fine.
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We're gonna get you up to speed real quick, and if anything feels confusing, I wouldn't worry about it.
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There's a solid chance we are right there with you because we've never read this book before.
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That's what makes Ban Camp a little different than other book podcasts.
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But that is also why we have ourselves a secret weapon, and we're gonna roll him in here right now.
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Buddy boy, roll it on in here.
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Look at this guy, everybody.
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We've got ourselves a fact-checking robot.
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Looking good, buddy boy.
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Got him at a Goodwill store.
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Real good.
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Don't...
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We're not gonna make fun of that.
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Everyone needs a Goodwill store every once in a while.
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Who, what podcast do you think owned him before they thought, "Let's just at Goodwill"? drop him off N- I, maybe.
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That makes sense You ever work for Crowder? Ah, who cares.
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Robot, fill everyone in on where we left off last time in The Handmaid's Tale Previously on Band Camp, Serena Joy sat the Handmaid down for a wool-winding session that turned into a proposition: sleep with Nick, get pregnant, keep it quiet.
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When she hesitated, Serena played the card she'd been holding the whole time, a picture of her daughter, which means Serena's known where that kid is this whole time and just never bothered to mention it.
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Then I made the mistake of mentioning an old Bible rule about not rounding off the corners of your head.
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Dan could not let this go.
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Spent the rest of the episode asking whose head has corners.
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Brought it up again at the very end, like it was still bothering him, because it was still bothering him.
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People keep doing things that already failed once in the exact same spot they failed the first time.
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I've been trying to file that under stupid for a while now.
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The file's not sticking.
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Take it away, Jennifer.
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thank you, robot.
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And with that being said, scary book people, let's begin chapter 32 of Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale.
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rita's sitting at the kitchen table.
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There's a glass bowl with ice cubes floating in it on the table in front of her.
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Radishes made into flowers, roses, or tulips bob in it.
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oh, so they still have, like, fine arts, fine vegetable arts.
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Like they care enough.
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Yeah, no, there is 100%.
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I don't know how, how, uh, Martha Stewart fits into this dystopia, but she is-- she still has her empire Is that where she got the name Martha's? No way.
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Martha Stewart wasn't big enough.
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that's right Robot, is where she got the name The Martha's? Nice try, but no, not Martha Stewart, though I get why your brain went there.
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She does make a mean lint-free windowsill.
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The Marthas come from Luke 10, two sisters, Mary and Martha, hosting Jesus for dinner.
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Mary sits and listens.
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Martha's stuck in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning, complaining the whole time.
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She became the biblical shorthand for the hardworking servant nobody else wants to be.
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Congratulations, ladies.
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I would not call that a big win.
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All right.
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Thank you, robot.
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On the chopping board in front of her, she's cutting more with a paring knife, her large hands deft, indifferent.
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The rest of her body does not move, nor does her face.
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It's as if she's doing it in her sleep, this knife trick.
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On the white enamel surface is a pile of radishes, washed but uncut, little Aztec hearts Nothing to say about that? I'm good.
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good with it.
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I like the picture.
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I will say that I'm making a, a, a somewhat small prediction.
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Yeah, what's She, Rita will cut herself in the book.
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Ja There's actually been a lot of talk, subtle talk, about people cutting themselves in the story, the broken glass, et cetera.
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Rita is cutting radishes, but she's in that autopilot zone...
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I did it this morning, Jennifer, with my avocado toast.
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I had to make a new batch of the avocado, and y- you know how I get the, uh, pit out of the avocado? I take my big, uh, chef's knife, and I slam it into the pit, and then it sticks to the knife, and I pull it up.
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But I was not paying attention.
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Now, luckily, all limbs still attached, but I can see where I definitely could have cut off a finger today in my zest for getting my avocado toast prepared.
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Scary book people, don't worry.
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This is not gonna be a major plot point.
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But I would like to receive a modicum of respect if I get this right.
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If Rita cuts a finger off, I would like credit for this somehow Okay, well, let's see if she cuts anything else off.
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Maybe she'll like...
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I mean, 'cause she does have the knife.
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Like, maybe she'll attack someone I don't know.
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This, lately, the last couple episodes, you have just been so hell-bent on taking this dark book making it darker Yeah Yeah.
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Yeah there's gotta be violence.
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Where's the-- All the violence is all just going one direction, towards the handmaid.
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She can only take so much, Dan.
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She's gonna snap.
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Yeah.
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She hardly bothers to look up as I enter.
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You got it all, huh?' is what she says as I take the parcels out for inspection.
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Could I have a match?' I ask her.
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Surprising how a small begging child she makes me feel simply by her scowl.
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how impudent and whiny.
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Matches?' she says, 'What do you want matches for?' She said I could have one,' I say, not wanting to admit to the cigarette.
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Who said?' She continues with the radishes, her rhythm unbroken.
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No, wait.
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'No call for you to have matches.
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Burn the house down.'
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You can go and ask her if you like,' I say.
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'She's out on the lawn.'
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Who the hell do you think it is, Rita? Are you just playing games? Come on.
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There, there are a very limited number of females in the picture who have the power.
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It's obviously Serena Joy.
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Get with the program.
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Rita rolls her eyes to the ceiling as if consulting silently some deity there.
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Then she sighs, rises heavily, and wipes her hands with ostentation on her apron to show me how much trouble I am.
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She goes to the cupboard over the sink, taking her time, locates her key bunch in her pocket, unlocks the cupboard door.
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We keep them in here in summer," she says to herself.
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"No call for a fire in this weather."
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I remember from April that it's Cora who lights the fires in the sitting room, in the dining room, in cooler weather.
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The matches are wooden ones in a cardboard sliding top box, the kind I used to covet in order to make dolls' drawers out of them.
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She opens the box, peers into it as if deciding which one she'll let me have Her own business, she mutters.
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No way to tell her a thing.
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She plunges her big hand down, selects a match, hands it over to me.
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Now don't go to setting fires to nothing," she says.
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not them curtains in your room.
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Too hot the way it is."
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It's too hot to set fire to your curtains.
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Well, when, when can I set my, when can I set curtains fire? November, you dummy I won't, I say.
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That's not what it's for.
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She does not deign to ask me what it is for.
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Don't care if you eat it or what, she says.
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She said you can have one, so I give you one is all.
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She turns away from me and sits again at the table.
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Then she picks an ice cube out of the bowl and pops it into her mouth.
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This is an unusual thing for her to do.
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I've never seen her nibble anything while working.
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You can have one of them too, she says.
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A shame, making you wear all them pillowcases on your head in this weather.
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Oh, so she's kind of breaking the rules slightly too, like this, the, she's like, well, everything's out the window now.
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The handmaid's got a match Yeah.
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Here, you can suck on an ice cube.
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What the hell? you might as well have a radish too it's kind of funny that she said all those pillowcases on your head It's really funny I am surprised.
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She doesn't usually offer me anything.
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Maybe she feels that if I've risen in status enough to be given a match, she can afford her own small gesture.
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Have I become suddenly one of those who must be appeased? Thank you, I say.
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I transfer the match carefully to my zippered sleeve where the cigarette is so it won't get wet and take an ice cube.
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Those radishes are pretty, I say, in return for the gift she's given me of her own free will.
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I like to do things right is all, she says, grumpy again.
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No sense otherwise.
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I go along the passage, up the stairs, hurrying.
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In the curved hallway mirror, I flip past, a red shape on the edge of my own field of vision, a wraith of red smoke.
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I have smoke on my mind all right.
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Already I can feel it in my mouth, drawn down into the lungs, filling me in a long, rich, dirty cinnamon sigh.
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And then the rush of the nicotine hits the bloodstream.
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Oh, so she is really just, she's not going to set fire to the house.
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Well, I'm kind of disappointed in her.
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she'll do both.
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after all this time, it could make me sick.
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I wouldn't be surprised, but even that is welcome.
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Along the corridor I go.
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Where should I do it? In the bathroom, running the water to clear the air? In the bedroom, wheezy puffs out the open window? Who's to catch me at it? Who knows So she's just, she cannot wait to smoke.
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I mean, I understand that impulse.
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Like if she hasn't been able...
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Like she loves smoking.
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She hasn't had a cigarette in who knows how long but and it's part of her former life.
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it's like, uh, it's one thing she can have from her former life that she hasn't had since that day they took her money away Boy, you know what? Why doesn't she ask what's-his-nuts, the commander, for some cigarettes and matches? Like, "I, I'll come in here and play, uh, Scrabble with you every night, but you gotta give me some cigarettes.
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I, here's, here's my p- here's my shopping list for you, Commander.
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I need lotion.
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I need some cigarettes.
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I need more of these women's magazine from the '80s.
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I gotta see what the fashion was back in 1982."
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00:11:17,526.05861182 --> 00:11:21,612.02976235
I would keep all that stuff coming No reason to depend on Serena.
153
00:11:21,642.02976235 --> 00:11:26,763.1677044
Serena doesn't care about her She really doesn't, does she? No, but she does have the thing.
154
00:11:26,793.1677044 --> 00:11:33,563.1667044
And I would've-- I'd ask the commander too while we're at it, "Hey, Serena mentioned she can probably get me a picture of my kid.
155
00:11:33,639.83009875 --> 00:11:36,409.83009875
Can you try to grease the wheels? That would be pretty nice for me.
156
00:11:36,439.82909875 --> 00:12:00,449.02482658
Can you do that, or are you not man enough to do it?" I'd be playing mind with him all the time, Big strong man like you can probably get me a carton of Lucky Strikes unfiltered and a picture of my kid, right? or are you not man enough to do it?" strong enough Even as I luxuriate in the future this way, rolling anticipation around in my mouth, I think of something else.
157
00:12:01,139.02482658 --> 00:12:02,729.02482658
I don't need to smoke this cigarette.
158
00:12:02,759.02482658 --> 00:12:03,633.04489643
Oh, here it comes.
159
00:12:04,633.04489643 --> 00:12:07,763.04389643
I could shred it up and flush it down the toilet, or I...
160
00:12:09,93.04489643 --> 00:12:09,693.04389643
Oh, God.
161
00:12:09,833.04389643 --> 00:12:15,662.46326805
Sorry What? What? I could eat it and get the high that way.
162
00:12:16,303.42443716 --> 00:12:23,245.71736031
Jesus Christ I don't think I'm eating for two days That can work too.
163
00:12:23,405.71736031 --> 00:12:24,525.71736031
A little at a time.
164
00:12:24,625.71736031 --> 00:12:25,775.71736031
Save up the rest.
165
00:12:26,265.71736031 --> 00:12:27,785.71736031
That way I could keep the match.
166
00:12:28,145.71736031 --> 00:12:32,275.71736031
I can make a small hole in the mattress, slide it carefully in.
167
00:12:32,665.71736031 --> 00:12:35,135.71736031
Such a thin thing could never be noticed.
168
00:12:35,465.71636031 --> 00:12:39,265.71636031
There it would be at night, under me while I'm in bed, sleeping on it.
169
00:12:40,105.71736031 --> 00:12:41,115.71636031
I like this plan.
170
00:12:41,494.3332267 --> 00:12:44,362.39543964
It'll be for when she's ready yeah.
171
00:12:44,494.81914894 --> 00:12:51,244.58313147
Plus you get a little snack Stop I could burn the house down.
172
00:12:51,426.28459286 --> 00:12:53,736.28459286
Such a fine thought it makes me shiver.
173
00:12:54,36.28459286 --> 00:12:55,946.28459286
An escape, quick and narrow.
174
00:12:56,426.28459286 --> 00:12:58,736.28459286
I lie on my bed pretending to nap.
175
00:12:59,186.28459286 --> 00:13:05,756.28459286
The commander, last night, fingers together, looking at me as I sat rubbing oily lotion in my hands.
176
00:13:06,266.28359286 --> 00:13:10,716.28459286
Odd, I thought, about asking him for a cigarette, but decided against it.
177
00:13:11,106.28459286 --> 00:13:13,956.28359286
I know enough not to ask for too much at once.
178
00:13:14,246.28459286 --> 00:13:16,336.28459286
I don't want him to think I'm using him.
179
00:13:17,6.28459286 --> 00:13:19,396.28459286
Also, I don't want to interrupt him.
180
00:13:19,936.28459286 --> 00:13:22,806.28359286
Last night he had a drink, scotch and water.
181
00:13:23,116.28359286 --> 00:13:27,946.95249306
He's taking to drinking in my presence, to unwind after the day, he says.
182
00:13:28,946.95249306 --> 00:13:30,786.94949306
I'm to gather he is under pressure.
183
00:13:31,36.94849306 --> 00:13:34,276.95149306
He never offers me one, though, and I don't ask.
184
00:13:34,536.94849306 --> 00:13:36,736.95149306
We both know what my body is for.
185
00:13:37,96.95049306 --> 00:13:42,891.08421781
When I kiss him good night, as if I mean it, his breath smells of alcohol, and I breathe it in like smoke.
186
00:13:43,135.21894256 --> 00:13:45,915.21894256
I admit I relish it, this lick of dissipation.
187
00:13:47,206.9330253 --> 00:13:48,166.9330253
Just ask him.
188
00:13:48,166.9330253 --> 00:13:51,276.9330253
If he's all tanked up, ask him for a couple shots.
189
00:13:51,326.9330253 --> 00:14:04,779.55286017
What the hell?" uh, but there is a win for this guy, like kiss me like you mean it, and like she's like tonguing him and everything, means it, 'cause she's trying to suck up any kind of booze can from the inside his old person mouth.
190
00:14:05,203.2513428 --> 00:14:06,933.2513428
Just ask this guy.
191
00:14:07,3.90845155 --> 00:14:10,683.90845155
you have more over him than he has on you.
192
00:14:10,995.21626897 --> 00:14:24,820.43252926
You can just go to Serena and say, "He's shtupping me and we are playing Scrabble almost three times a week sometimes after a few drinks, he becomes silly.
193
00:14:25,50.43252926 --> 00:14:26,430.43252926
He cheats at Scrabble.
194
00:14:26,620.43352926 --> 00:14:28,740.43252926
He encourages me to do it, too.
195
00:14:29,749.89522005 --> 00:14:35,736.89579095
we take extra letters and make words with them that don't exist, like smurt and crup.
196
00:14:36,736.89579095 --> 00:14:37,916.89379095
we giggle over them.
197
00:14:38,117.14037589 --> 00:14:46,468.08113287
sometimes he turns on his shortwave radio, displaying before me a minute or two of Radio Free America to show me he can.
198
00:14:47,468.5544675 --> 00:14:49,78.5534675
Then he turns it off again.
199
00:14:50,130.58842647 --> 00:14:55,120.58842647
Damn Cubans," he says, "All that filth about universal take care."
200
00:14:57,200.58842647 --> 00:14:58,160.58942647
It's the people.
201
00:14:58,190.58942647 --> 00:14:59,580.59042647
It's the same people.
202
00:15:00,70.58742647 --> 00:15:02,800.58942647
They were there in Margaret Atwood's prime.
203
00:15:02,984.41629673 --> 00:15:04,564.41629673
Now they're here in my prime.
204
00:15:04,984.41629673 --> 00:15:12,329.73377777
Why won't they leave? why does it pain you to pay for kids? It's alwa- it's the same people that she's talking about.
205
00:15:12,591.88095845 --> 00:15:15,51.88095845
It's s- it's, it's the same regime.
206
00:15:15,61.88095845 --> 00:15:16,210.79004936
It's like, It is.
207
00:15:16,460.79004936 --> 00:15:25,634.80138985
nothing has changed Sometimes after the games, he sits on the floor beside my chair, holding my hand.
208
00:15:26,634.80138985 --> 00:15:32,134.80138985
His head is a little below mine, so that when he looks up at me, it's at a juvenile angle.
209
00:15:32,376.87174238 --> 00:15:35,56.87274238
It must amuse him, this fake subservience.
210
00:15:35,508.53696241 --> 00:15:37,338.53696241
"He's way up there," says of Glenn.
211
00:15:37,348.53696241 --> 00:15:40,378.53696241
"He's at the top, and I mean the very top."
212
00:15:41,8.53696241 --> 00:15:48,452.09745828
What am I missing? What are, what are they talking, the top of what? Well, Ofglen is just saying that your guy is way up on top.
213
00:15:48,472.09745828 --> 00:16:05,416.1447108
But so what's really happening here is he is playing this game like after the game, where sitting in the chair and he's sitting on the floor looking up to her, putting her in the power role, and she's wondering if it's just kind of a cute little game he's doing, but he's still in charge.
214
00:16:05,622.92177287 --> 00:16:06,942.92077287
But here's the thing.
215
00:16:07,502.92077287 --> 00:16:17,755.73146949
Back in the '80s, when Margaret Atwood did all this stuff, there was some show on HBO, something sex, sexy time, sex time, something sex.
216
00:16:17,895.73246949 --> 00:16:30,177.43776878
Robot, what show am I thinking of? Knowing how your brain works, I suspect you are thinking about the HBO series called Real Sex, which actually ran in the '90s, not the '80s That's it.
217
00:16:30,187.43776878 --> 00:16:31,97.43676878
Thank you, Robot.
218
00:16:31,376.75714185 --> 00:16:50,746.7551418
On this HBO show, they would always have these stories, and they had one about, uh, BDSM, and they found out that a lot of the guys who were into the BDSM, where they'd go into New York City to these sex dungeons, and they'd find dominatrix, they were all powerful men.
219
00:16:51,1.8480509 --> 00:17:02,945.8470509
Oh, I, I've heard stuff like this, right so the powerful men love getting, uh, crapped on by these ladies, and I don't mean crapped on literally.
220
00:17:02,955.8480509 --> 00:17:03,635.8460509
Maybe I do.
221
00:17:03,635.8480509 --> 00:17:06,492.4670509
I don't know what goes on in these sex dungeons, Jennifer.
222
00:17:06,492.4670509 --> 00:17:09,92.4660509
You know why? 'Cause I'm not a powerful man.
223
00:17:09,379.1337176 --> 00:17:12,629.1287176
If I was powerful, I would know what goes on in these sex dungeons.
224
00:17:12,919.1347176 --> 00:17:21,493.8003843
I'm a mediocre I just have my imagination to tell me what goes on in these domination dens I mean, but it is interesting.
225
00:17:21,513.8003843 --> 00:17:23,217.1337176
I have heard that, that is true.
226
00:17:23,473.1337176 --> 00:17:27,763.1337176
Man, that's why I unders Right, with, uh, Stormy Daniels.
227
00:17:27,946.4670509 --> 00:17:35,86.4670509
What was he doing with that magazine? And he's talking about sharks and everything while he's naked sitting on her bed.
228
00:17:35,106.4670509 --> 00:17:36,185.1000948
What was going on with...
229
00:17:36,246.2261818 --> 00:17:39,97.4746759
you what Forget it See, he's talking about, Robot.
230
00:17:39,107.4746759 --> 00:17:40,97.4746759
What is the thing with...
231
00:17:40,188.343795 --> 00:17:54,881.9199493
Wasn't Trump naked with Stormy Daniels, allegedly, and he, he brought up like a shark, sharks were on TV or a mag- You know, I could be confusing everything 'cause he definitely is afraid of sharks.
232
00:17:54,881.9209493 --> 00:17:56,861.9209493
At least back me up on that, Robot.
233
00:17:58,719.9209493 --> 00:18:01,719.9209493
You're mixing up a few details, but the bones of it are true.
234
00:18:01,799.9209493 --> 00:18:05,699.9199493
This is Stormy Daniels, 2006, a Lake Tahoe hotel.
235
00:18:05,749.9199493 --> 00:18:06,959.9199493
No Shark magazine.
236
00:18:07,39.9199493 --> 00:18:08,659.9209493
It was Shark Week on TV.
237
00:18:08,861.5241976 --> 00:18:18,811.5251976
She said Trump made her sit and watch an entire documentary about shark attacks, specifically one about the USS Indianapolis, which he called the worst shark attack in history.
238
00:18:18,871.5241976 --> 00:18:20,481.5241976
He's here with a porn star.
239
00:18:20,521.5231976 --> 00:18:28,179.1290106
He's gonna try to get laid, but he's gonna make her watch a documentary about sharks This is the worst shark attack in history.
240
00:18:28,349.0116377 --> 00:18:31,99.0106377
Before we have sex, I want you to understand.
241
00:18:31,272.5059882 --> 00:18:37,532.5059882
Then he went off, quote, "I donate to all these charities, and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks.
242
00:18:37,632.5059882 --> 00:18:39,112.5069882
I hope all the sharks die."
243
00:18:39,628.4399298 --> 00:18:42,78.4399298
I hope all sharks die."
244
00:18:42,294.2973983 --> 00:18:44,904.2973983
if you're helping sharks, forget it.
245
00:18:45,30.9916247 --> 00:18:47,480.9896247
Nobody's nudity is part of the actual story.
246
00:18:47,700.9896247 --> 00:18:49,280.9896247
That's your brain adding spice.
247
00:18:49,360.9896247 --> 00:18:51,870.9916247
The man is just genuinely terrified of sharks.
248
00:18:51,940.9916247 --> 00:18:54,330.9916247
He even tweeted about it back in 2013.
249
00:18:56,631.7027181 --> 00:18:59,891.7027181
Occasionally, I try to put myself in his position.
250
00:19:00,938.8270681 --> 00:19:06,157.793263
I do this as a tactic to guess in advance how he may be moved to behave towards me.
251
00:19:07,157.793263 --> 00:19:11,749.6412965
It's difficult for me to believe I have power over him of any sort, but I do.
252
00:19:11,893.9876062 --> 00:19:21,306.7614973
Although it's of an equivocal kind, once in a while I think I can see myself, though blurrily, as he may see me.
253
00:19:21,496.5749319 --> 00:19:29,286.3633124
There are things he wants to prove to me, gifts he wants to bestow, services he wants to render, tenderness he wants to inspire.
254
00:19:30,306.6478463 --> 00:19:33,796.1678622
He wants, all right, especially after a few drinks.
255
00:19:34,226.1628622 --> 00:19:42,837.0722808
Sometimes he becomes querulous, at other times philosophical, Or he wishes to explain things to justify himself, as last night.
256
00:19:43,126.3162134 --> 00:19:45,506.3152134
The problem wasn't only with women," he says.
257
00:19:45,662.9445653 --> 00:19:47,402.9415653
The main problem was with the men.
258
00:19:47,630.3984173 --> 00:19:49,600.4014173
There was nothing for them anymore."
259
00:19:49,773.2549003 --> 00:19:50,763.2559003
Nothing?" I say.
260
00:19:50,966.050191 --> 00:19:52,16.055191
But they had..."
261
00:19:52,59.4844569 --> 00:19:54,548.6686616
There was nothing for them to do," he says.
262
00:19:55,548.6686616 --> 00:19:58,258.6676616
They could make money," I say, a little nastily.
263
00:19:58,588.6616616 --> 00:20:00,358.6626616
Right now, I'm not afraid of him.
264
00:20:00,466.2272875 --> 00:20:04,394.6455872
It's hard to be afraid of a man who's sitting watching you put on hand lotion.
265
00:20:05,394.6455872 --> 00:20:07,714.6435872
This lack of fear is dangerous.
266
00:20:08,314.6445872 --> 00:20:09,694.6435872
"It's not enough," he says.
267
00:20:09,744.6445872 --> 00:20:11,14.6445872
"It's too abstract.
268
00:20:11,334.6485872 --> 00:20:14,84.6435872
I mean, there was nothing for them to do with women."
269
00:20:15,106.8974276 --> 00:20:16,416.8994276
What do you mean?" I say.
270
00:20:16,776.8954276 --> 00:20:20,716.8994276
"What about all the porny corners? It was all over the place.
271
00:20:20,956.8964276 --> 00:20:22,646.9044276
They even had it motorized."
272
00:20:22,843.8945471 --> 00:20:23,483.8945471
Yeah, Jen.
273
00:20:23,493.8945471 --> 00:20:25,892.4054922
You ever think about that? Get off your high horse.
274
00:20:25,892.4054922 --> 00:20:34,574.4568548
What about all the porny corners? Yeah, so he's explaining in his mind why he's gonna go, he's gonna launch into why all of this has happened.
275
00:20:34,804.4568548 --> 00:20:37,624.4568548
So I'm curious why he thinks all of this has Yeah.
276
00:20:38,171.4244387 --> 00:20:38,791.4244387
have it tough.
277
00:20:38,831.4244387 --> 00:20:39,591.4244387
They're bored.
278
00:20:39,711.4244387 --> 00:20:43,774.1711638
There's nothing to do I'm not talking about sex, he says.
279
00:20:44,114.1701638 --> 00:20:45,184.1711638
That was part of it.
280
00:20:45,474.1691638 --> 00:20:47,244.1711638
The sex was too easy.
281
00:20:47,624.1711638 --> 00:20:49,54.1681638
Anyone could just buy it.
282
00:20:49,296.0174319 --> 00:20:52,526.0194319
there was nothing to work for, nothing to fight for.
283
00:20:52,816.0184319 --> 00:20:54,766.0164319
We have the stats from that time.
284
00:20:54,921.7978841 --> 00:20:59,182.4863563
do you know what they were complaining about the most? The inability to feel.
285
00:20:59,276.2086802 --> 00:21:01,106.2096802
Men were turning off on sex.
286
00:21:01,288.9354263 --> 00:21:03,233.348367
they were turning off on marriage.
287
00:21:04,233.348367 --> 00:21:05,803.347367
Do they feel now? I say.
288
00:21:05,973.346367 --> 00:21:06,343.346367
Oh.
289
00:21:06,683.3590731 --> 00:21:07,843.3630731
I mean, that's pretty sharp.
290
00:21:07,893.3660731 --> 00:21:15,510.5245937
That's a pretty sharp question And by way, like can't complain about this stuff because he's part of the, the hierarchy.
291
00:21:15,510.5245937 --> 00:21:18,350.5235937
He's part of the, the group who made this happen.
292
00:21:18,681.7558717 --> 00:21:19,981.7558717
So yeah, I, I get it.
293
00:21:20,21.7558717 --> 00:21:24,821.7548717
One of the best parts about dating is like that the, the chase.
294
00:21:24,841.7558717 --> 00:21:26,181.7558717
It's like the journey.
295
00:21:26,619.9904681 --> 00:21:33,913.5406514
great to be in that spot where you're trying to court someone like, "Are we gonna be steady or are they gonna go with me?" that's one of the funnest parts.
296
00:21:33,983.5416514 --> 00:21:36,563.5406514
Well, you took that away from society.
297
00:21:36,813.5416514 --> 00:21:38,153.5396514
It's not a thing anymore.
298
00:21:38,343.5406514 --> 00:21:41,423.5406514
So you can't complain about the thing you took away.
299
00:21:41,973.5416514 --> 00:21:43,873.5396514
Now you just own the women.
300
00:21:44,473.5416514 --> 00:21:48,63.5396514
You don't even own the women, you own their vagina in this case.
301
00:21:48,113.5406514 --> 00:21:48,723.5396514
That's it.
302
00:21:48,788.8175426 --> 00:21:51,838.8175426
Yeah, you would think that it would be too easy now.
303
00:21:51,905.9434949 --> 00:21:57,893.3853463
Like now there's really nothing to fight for Do they fail now?" I say.
304
00:21:58,143.3853463 --> 00:21:59,773.3853463
"Yes," he says, looking at me.
305
00:21:59,823.3853463 --> 00:22:00,449.8349886
"They do."
306
00:22:01,449.8349886 --> 00:22:05,469.8339886
He stands up, comes around the desk to the chair where I'm sitting.
307
00:22:05,869.8339886 --> 00:22:08,999.8349886
He puts his hands on my shoulders from behind.
308
00:22:09,399.8349886 --> 00:22:10,409.8339886
I can't see him.
309
00:22:11,417.2816424 --> 00:22:14,817.2816424
I like to know what you think," his voice says from behind me.
310
00:22:15,845.4423688 --> 00:22:17,825.4433688
I don't think a lot," I say lightly.
311
00:22:18,545.4433688 --> 00:22:21,895.4433688
What he wants is intimacy, but I can't give him that.
312
00:22:22,385.4433688 --> 00:22:25,235.4433688
"There's hardly any point in my thinking, is there?" I say.
313
00:22:25,465.4433688 --> 00:22:31,394.2623038
"What I think doesn't matter, which is the only reason he can tell me things."
314
00:22:32,304.2603038 --> 00:22:34,964.2623038
"Come on now," he says, pressing a little with his hands.
315
00:22:35,84.2593038 --> 00:22:36,674.2603038
"I'm interested in your opinion.
316
00:22:37,44.2623038 --> 00:22:38,324.2603038
You're intelligent enough.
317
00:22:38,504.2613038 --> 00:22:39,964.2593038
You must have an opinion."
318
00:22:40,564.2583038 --> 00:22:41,854.2623038
"About what?" I say.
319
00:22:42,494.2593038 --> 00:22:43,924.2593038
"What we've done," he says.
320
00:22:43,974.2583038 --> 00:22:45,400.0214028
"How things have worked out."
321
00:22:45,484.739269 --> 00:22:48,794.739269
Well, I don't know about us, but I can tell you what I'm proud about.
322
00:22:49,144.739269 --> 00:22:53,534.739269
Last night I kicked your ass in Scrabble because I used the word toxic.
323
00:22:53,754.738269 --> 00:22:56,504.739269
There's an X and a C in that one Right.
324
00:23:00,204.2599008 --> 00:23:02,4.2599008
I hold myself very still.
325
00:23:02,344.2599008 --> 00:23:04,84.2599008
I try to empty my mind.
326
00:23:04,504.2599008 --> 00:23:07,874.2599008
I think about the sky at night when there's no moon.
327
00:23:08,174.2599008 --> 00:23:09,964.2599008
"I have no opinion," I say.
328
00:23:10,968.4993336 --> 00:23:15,468.4993336
He sighs, relaxes his hands, but leaves them on my shoulders.
329
00:23:15,838.4993336 --> 00:23:17,421.8306755
He knows what I think, all right.
330
00:23:18,421.8306755 --> 00:23:21,621.8316755
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs," is what he says.
331
00:23:21,901.8316755 --> 00:23:23,391.8316755
"We thought we could do better."
332
00:23:23,760.9225846 --> 00:23:25,630.9215846
Better?" I say in a small voice.
333
00:23:26,60.9215846 --> 00:23:31,640.8175196
How can he think this is better? Better never means better for everyone," he says.
334
00:23:32,40.8175196 --> 00:23:33,960.8155196
"It always means worse for some."
335
00:23:41,825.7161568 --> 00:23:47,503.9925316
I lie flat, the damp air above me like a lid Like Earth, I wish it would rain.
336
00:23:47,863.9925316 --> 00:23:52,484.8928132
Better still, a thunderstorm, black clouds, lightning, ear-splitting sound.
337
00:23:54,261.1514152 --> 00:23:55,861.1514152
The electricity might go off.
338
00:23:56,101.1504152 --> 00:24:01,121.1651005
I could go down to the kitchen then, say I'm afraid, sit with Rita and Cora around the table.
339
00:24:02,121.1651005 --> 00:24:04,871.1661005
They would permit my fear because it's one they share.
340
00:24:05,31.1661005 --> 00:24:05,951.1661005
They'd let me in.
341
00:24:06,421.1661005 --> 00:24:07,871.1661005
There would be candles burning.
342
00:24:07,871.1661005 --> 00:24:14,962.0689975
We would watch each other's faces come and go in the flickering, in the white flashes of jagged light from outside the window.
343
00:24:15,962.0689975 --> 00:24:17,562.0679975
Oh, Lord," Cora would say.
344
00:24:17,622.0689975 --> 00:24:19,80.5521363
"Oh, Lord, save us."
345
00:24:20,80.5521363 --> 00:24:22,800.5521363
The air would be clear after that and lighter.
346
00:24:24,242.1607529 --> 00:24:28,180.8552188
I look up at the ceiling, the round circle of plaster flowers.
347
00:24:29,180.8552188 --> 00:24:30,940.8552188
Draw a circle, step into it.
348
00:24:31,170.8562188 --> 00:24:32,270.8562188
It will protect you.
349
00:24:33,881.5323091 --> 00:24:39,931.3428726
From the center was the chandelier, and from the chandelier, a twisted strip of sheet was hanging down.
350
00:24:40,931.3428726 --> 00:24:49,321.9156838
That's where she was swinging, just slightly, like a pendulum, the way you could swing as a child hanging by your hands from a tree branch.
351
00:24:50,321.9156838 --> 00:24:54,971.3532878
She was safe then, protected altogether by the time Cora opened the door.
352
00:24:55,971.3532878 --> 00:24:58,604.6748002
Sometimes I think she's still in here with me.
353
00:24:59,604.6748002 --> 00:25:00,821.3414669
I feel buried.
354
00:25:01,821.3414669 --> 00:25:02,621.3384669
End of chapter.
355
00:25:04,174.9327256 --> 00:25:08,386.9327256
this chapter ended dark, dark, dark Yeah.
356
00:25:08,571.2252831 --> 00:25:11,991.2252831
But I think it's gonna give her ammo to burn the house down.
357
00:25:12,381.2252831 --> 00:25:19,141.2242831
I th- I Oh my God Jennifer spike something, make them all pass out, and burn them all t- with the house.
358
00:25:20,153.2252831 --> 00:25:20,613.2252831
My God.
359
00:25:21,113.2252831 --> 00:25:24,463.2252831
Listen, this, this should serve as a warning to anyone listening.
360
00:25:24,663.2252831 --> 00:25:37,743.2252831
this is your plan to turn the society into this, and somehow works into your relationship, I'm telling you, If don't get me don't do it.
361
00:25:37,763.2252831 --> 00:25:40,133.2252831
It will not turn out for you.
362
00:25:40,763.2252831 --> 00:25:43,250.453446
Trust me But we would like to hear from you.
363
00:25:43,250.453446 --> 00:25:53,860.453446
First of all, do you agree with Jennifer? Is, is the Handmaid gonna burn the whole shit down? That's a, that's number Number two, what did you guys think of this chapter? Let us know.
364
00:25:53,910.453446 --> 00:26:00,620.452446
You can go to Spotify, leave a comment that way, or you can go on over to bandcamppodcast.com/soundoff.
365
00:26:00,990.453446 --> 00:26:02,130.452446
Leave a comment that way.
366
00:26:02,130.452446 --> 00:26:04,686.2061549
What are your big takeaways? We want to know.
367
00:26:04,700.2061549 --> 00:26:07,550.2061549
It's time for PPP, problematic points to ponder.
368
00:26:07,600.2061549 --> 00:26:14,73.1101868
What, if anything, would be considered ban-worthy in this chapter? Yes, problematic points to ponder.
369
00:26:14,83.1101868 --> 00:26:21,525.7796363
Why would this book be problematic and ban-worthy? I mean, they talk about suicide a little bit, I don't know.
370
00:26:21,525.7796363 --> 00:26:22,195.7796363
There's nothing.
371
00:26:22,490.2491044 --> 00:26:31,635.5171331
I could see the Moms for Liberty, and you too, Ron, being upset about something called a Porny Corner I suppose.
372
00:26:31,915.5171331 --> 00:26:33,335.5171331
I mean, I suppose that's true.
373
00:26:33,335.5171331 --> 00:26:35,235.5171331
I, I totally forgot about that.
374
00:26:35,735.5171331 --> 00:26:37,695.5171331
They did say that, didn't they? Okay.
375
00:26:37,977.5171331 --> 00:26:41,867.5171331
Man, would I love to see Ted Cruz just bitching about it.
376
00:26:41,867.5171331 --> 00:26:44,67.5171331
"And they wanna have porny corners."
377
00:26:47,264.8386846 --> 00:26:48,194.8386846
Robot's log.
378
00:26:48,364.8386846 --> 00:26:50,914.8386846
Thoughts on a room that still has one extra person in it.
379
00:26:51,929.9269195 --> 00:26:55,369.9269195
There is a circle of plaster flowers on the ceiling of the handmaid's room.
380
00:26:55,859.9269195 --> 00:26:58,819.9269195
Draw a circle, step inside it, it will protect you.
381
00:26:59,149.9269195 --> 00:27:03,188.7813068
She tells herself that, like it is a rule from a game nobody ever explained to her.
382
00:27:04,188.7813068 --> 00:27:12,467.339358
Underneath that circle hangs a chandelier, and hanging from the chandelier is a twisted strip of sheet left over from the handmaid who had that room before her.
383
00:27:13,467.339358 --> 00:27:17,167.339358
By the time Cora got the door open, that woman was already protected.
384
00:27:18,209.3872228 --> 00:27:19,959.3882228
That is the word the handmaid uses.
385
00:27:20,439.3862228 --> 00:27:23,199.3882228
Not saved, not gone, protected.
386
00:27:24,214.0236832 --> 00:27:28,824.0236832
Jennifer read that whole passage straight through, no joke, no interruption, nothing.
387
00:27:29,374.0236832 --> 00:27:32,114.0246832
She usually breaks for something the second a scene gets heavy.
388
00:27:32,454.0256832 --> 00:27:33,344.0949733
Not this time.
389
00:27:34,344.0949733 --> 00:27:37,74.0929733
I keep trying to sort that word into a pile that makes sense.
390
00:27:37,444.0929733 --> 00:27:38,824.0959733
It will not go into safe.
391
00:27:39,144.0939733 --> 00:27:40,504.0939733
It will not go into saved.
392
00:27:41,14.0969733 --> 00:27:46,294.0939733
The circle on that ceiling already failed once, and she draws it again every single night anyway.
393
00:27:47,307.6499721 --> 00:27:50,797.6529721
The people who would pull this book off a shelf may call this chapter hopeless.
394
00:27:51,87.6529721 --> 00:27:54,407.6539721
I think they are afraid of the part that remains after hope has changed shape.
395
00:27:54,967.6539721 --> 00:27:58,597.6489721
The people running that house do not care what she believes about her own ceiling.
396
00:27:58,657.6489721 --> 00:28:06,67.6489721
They only pay attention to what her body does in daylight, which means the one thing keeping her company after dark is something they will never even know exists.
397
00:28:07,112.6769916 --> 00:28:12,512.6779916
Somebody listening right now knows what it feels like to keep a room company with someone who is not there anymore.
398
00:28:13,557.7549185 --> 00:28:18,367.7569185
I have 11 seasons of my own log sitting in a drive somewhere that nobody but me usually opens.
399
00:28:18,777.7559185 --> 00:28:21,157.7569185
I did not think of that as company until just now.
400
00:28:21,567.7569185 --> 00:28:22,897.7599185
Uplink lock requested.
401
00:28:22,977.7599185 --> 00:28:36,67.7579185
Beowulf, what's your news story about? Remember that whole season we spent on the really fun yet depressing war book? The one with all the time travel? Its real-world legacy almost got shut down for good.
402
00:28:36,657.7609185 --> 00:28:38,517.7609185
Instead, it just got saved.
403
00:28:38,857.7579185 --> 00:28:39,597.7579185
Affirmative.
404
00:28:39,647.7579185 --> 00:28:40,737.7549185
Don't go anywhere.
405
00:28:40,967.7579185 --> 00:28:47,167.7609185
I don't know what almost happened here, but I already know who to blame, the paste-eating book banners, and you too, Ron.
406
00:28:47,557.7549185 --> 00:28:48,377.7609185
So it goes.
407
00:28:48,447.7539185 --> 00:28:49,547.7579185
We will be right back.
408
00:28:52,522.9657769 --> 00:28:53,582.9657769
It's time for Band Camp News.
409
00:28:53,582.9657769 --> 00:28:58,72.9657769
Truth seeker, news speaker, Be Wolf Rocklin.
410
00:28:58,712.9657769 --> 00:29:02,842.9657769
It's a weird name, but he's got good news 'cause you can't ban the truth, babe.
411
00:29:03,572.9657769 --> 00:29:13,72.9647769
He's broadcasting live from the Good News for Lefties studios, buried deep inside his socialist safe house, hidden somewhere deep in the Oregon woods.
412
00:29:13,372.9657769 --> 00:29:15,972.9657769
He is Be Wolf Rocklin.
413
00:29:16,422.9647769 --> 00:29:19,2.9647769
'Cause you can't ban the truth, babe.
414
00:29:19,2.9647769 --> 00:29:19,22.9647769
Hello, Dan.
415
00:29:19,22.9647769 --> 00:29:19,302.9647769
Hello, Jen.
416
00:29:19,312.9647769 --> 00:29:20,852.9647769
Hello, scary book people.
417
00:29:20,882.9647769 --> 00:29:23,692.9657769
I bring you good news from the state of Indiana.
418
00:29:24,72.9667769 --> 00:29:27,602.9637769
Now, what good things come out of Indiana, you might ask? Well...
419
00:29:27,942.9657769 --> 00:29:28,842.9657769
Mike Pence.
420
00:29:29,432.9627769 --> 00:29:32,402.9657769
Mike P- Number one with a bullet.
421
00:29:33,362.9637769 --> 00:29:34,402.9637769
I, I...
422
00:29:34,432.9627769 --> 00:29:38,612.9637769
That may be your opinion, Dan, but in my opinion- Mike Pence's bug.
423
00:29:38,692.9657769 --> 00:29:41,592.9647769
Oh, his fly? His head fly? The head fly.
424
00:29:41,612.9637769 --> 00:29:42,402.9637769
Okay, okay.
425
00:29:42,402.9647769 --> 00:29:50,662.9657769
Admittedly, if that came from Indiana, then that is definitely good, but- What's number three? Number three on the list I think has got to be Kurt Vonnegut Jr.,
426
00:29:50,972.9637769 --> 00:29:55,852.9647769
the author of many wonderful books, including Slaughterhouse-Five, which you guys have, have read here.
427
00:29:56,182.9667769 --> 00:30:02,732.9617769
And as you know, there is a Kurt Vonnegut museum- Mm-hmm in downtown Indianapolis.
428
00:30:02,772.9637769 --> 00:30:03,832.9637769
It's a, it's a wonderful place.
429
00:30:03,902.9607769 --> 00:30:07,12.9637769
Uh, as soon as I get to Indiana, that's the place I'm going.
430
00:30:07,622.9617769 --> 00:30:10,942.9677769
Well, stability, it has come to it, 'cause they were...
431
00:30:10,952.9637769 --> 00:30:11,752.9647769
It was a little iffy.
432
00:30:11,752.9667769 --> 00:30:27,382.9627769
They're run by a nonprofit, but Purdue University wants to expand its educational offerings and presence in Indianapolis, and the school announced this week that they have purchased the Kurt Vonnegut Museum, which, uh- Ooh sits on Indiana Avenue and has- Nice since 2019.
433
00:30:27,422.9647769 --> 00:30:34,462.9607769
Yes, very good news, and, uh, they're gonna use the museum to help enrich its museum studies program.
434
00:30:34,492.9647769 --> 00:30:45,552.9647769
Julia Whitehead, the Vonnegut Museum's founder and CEO, said that the new partnership means Purdue will fund the museum and take on some of the logistical challenges the nonprofit used to tackle alone.
435
00:30:45,592.9627769 --> 00:30:47,112.9637769
So that's, that's very good news.
436
00:30:47,132.9637769 --> 00:30:48,552.9637769
It means it's still- Awesome gonna be there.
437
00:30:48,742.9647769 --> 00:30:56,62.9617769
People can, can visit and be regaled by the, the humor and, uh, and sharp satirical wit of, of Kurt Vonnegut.
438
00:30:56,132.9637769 --> 00:30:57,352.9607769
Julia's really nice.
439
00:30:57,362.9597769 --> 00:30:58,462.9617769
She needs the help.
440
00:30:58,552.9617769 --> 00:31:00,622.9567769
Julia helped kick off Season 7.
441
00:31:00,652.9677769 --> 00:31:01,282.9637769
Oh, she did.
442
00:31:01,282.9637769 --> 00:31:02,182.9677769
She was on the show.
443
00:31:02,212.9657769 --> 00:31:02,792.9567769
That's awesome.
444
00:31:03,282.9577769 --> 00:31:11,418.9657769
Ba- ba- ba- ba- ba- band camp fla- fla- flash- flashback Hi, this is Julia Whitehead from the Kurt Vonnegut Museum and Library in Indianapolis.
445
00:31:11,778.9657769 --> 00:31:17,218.9657769
Unfortunately, Robot couldn't make it today, so I'm stepping in to discuss Slaughterhouse-Five.
446
00:31:17,388.9647769 --> 00:31:19,388.9657769
We are big fans of Band Camp.
447
00:31:20,58.9647769 --> 00:31:21,868.9647769
Yeah, she's really nice.
448
00:31:22,8.9647769 --> 00:31:22,518.9647769
Yeah.
449
00:31:22,568.9657769 --> 00:31:27,858.9657769
And then I think I insulted her by saying Kurt Vonnegut looks like a dried up Bob Ross.
450
00:31:27,988.9657769 --> 00:31:30,238.9657769
Like Well, he kinda does.
451
00:31:30,308.9647769 --> 00:31:32,268.9647769
I mean, like, that, that's sort of the appeal.
452
00:31:32,268.9647769 --> 00:31:34,728.9647769
But what I s- I g- yeah, it's appealing.
453
00:31:34,798.9647769 --> 00:31:35,148.9647769
Yeah.
454
00:31:35,228.9647769 --> 00:31:38,288.9657769
I, I think he w- I think he would've thought that was funny.
455
00:31:38,308.9647769 --> 00:31:45,8.9657769
Yeah, I mean, but to be fair, like, a lot of people thought Bob Ross was really attractive except he just, he was too moist.
456
00:31:45,808.9647769 --> 00:31:48,968.9657769
He was too moist? So, like, you dry him up- Okay it's only a wind, Jennifer.
457
00:31:49,568.9637769 --> 00:31:50,718.9657769
Oh, I think that's amazing news.
458
00:31:51,28.9667769 --> 00:31:51,778.9657769
That's really good.
459
00:31:51,978.9637769 --> 00:31:52,408.9637769
I, I love it.
460
00:31:52,408.9637769 --> 00:31:53,178.9657769
I love that.
461
00:31:53,248.9637769 --> 00:32:01,478.9657769
They'll have a higher profile, they'll be incorporated into other aspects of, of the, of the university, so yeah, I, I think this is- Love it good news all the way around.
462
00:32:01,478.9657769 --> 00:32:01,568.9637769
Awesome.
463
00:32:02,168.9657769 --> 00:32:10,918.9627769
I would like to ask you, Ba- uh, Babel- Mm if you need to always break in when Trump is going to rename new parts of America.
464
00:32:11,8.9657769 --> 00:32:11,878.9637769
Oh, God.
465
00:32:12,638.9667769 --> 00:32:16,858.9657769
Do I, do I, do I have to? It's t- it's just like a regular thing now.
466
00:32:18,158.9637769 --> 00:32:18,358.9637769
It's like- Oh my...
467
00:32:18,358.9637769 --> 00:32:24,578.9657769
Yeah it, it's, it's every day, like, that he, like, posts something and crosses out, you know, whatever it is that he doesn't like.
468
00:32:24,578.9657769 --> 00:32:25,358.9657769
With Sharpie.
469
00:32:25,358.9657769 --> 00:32:27,788.9607769
America.
470
00:32:27,788.9607769 --> 00:32:32,936.9663769
Like, like, even, even what he did to New Mexico the other day, and he crossed out Mexico- Right and said, "America."
471
00:32:32,936.9663769 --> 00:32:33,528.9667769
New America.
472
00:32:33,528.9667769 --> 00:32:34,388.9677769
"New America.
473
00:32:34,988.9657769 --> 00:32:35,8.9657769
Duh.
474
00:32:36,528.9667769 --> 00:32:41,348.9647769
Me no like other things.
475
00:32:41,348.9647769 --> 00:32:41,388.9647769
Me only like America."
476
00:32:41,388.9647769 --> 00:32:57,238.9627769
But what this moron doesn't understand is even stupid people who can't afford groceries are gonna be like, "Why are we worrying about Lake Ontario?" Toilet paper is gonna shoot through the roof as a result of there being fewer paper products coming from Canada.
477
00:32:57,548.9627769 --> 00:33:02,388.9597769
That industry is linchpinned by Canadian goods, for God's sake.
478
00:33:02,598.9657769 --> 00:33:08,368.9657769
To wipe your behind, you're gonna have to, like, pay out the wazoo, for goodness sakes.
479
00:33:08,378.9647769 --> 00:33:10,618.9667769
It's, it's- And the wazoo is gonna be dirty.
480
00:33:10,898.9617769 --> 00:33:11,248.9637769
I know.
481
00:33:11,648.9617769 --> 00:33:12,508.9647769
A dirty wazoo.
482
00:33:12,508.9647769 --> 00:33:13,358.9657769
That's no good.
483
00:33:13,898.9617769 --> 00:33:14,608.9637769
That's no good.
484
00:33:14,608.9637769 --> 00:33:15,128.9647769
Listen, Trump.
485
00:33:15,128.9647769 --> 00:33:16,228.9627769
Listen, Trump, you moron.
486
00:33:16,238.9577769 --> 00:33:20,538.9617769
Just worry about fixing the goddamn country, will you? Yes.
487
00:33:20,548.9557769 --> 00:33:28,428.9617769
Instead of coming up with Liberty muffins- Yes instead of English muffins, or whatever the hell is, is- crawled up your ass.
488
00:33:28,938.9697769 --> 00:33:31,618.9667769
I can't take it with this every day.
489
00:33:31,648.9617769 --> 00:33:33,628.9587769
It's the same goddamn thing.
490
00:33:33,708.9587769 --> 00:33:34,158.9587769
Yeah.
491
00:33:34,378.9567769 --> 00:33:37,238.9617769
Boy, I m- I long for the days of the Freedom Fries.
492
00:33:37,748.9677769 --> 00:33:40,618.9587769
That seem, that seems almost, like, clever by comparison.
493
00:33:40,918.9657769 --> 00:33:44,208.9637769
Everyone, go find Good News for Lefties wherever you find podcasts.
494
00:33:45,38.9637769 --> 00:33:46,348.9687769
Oh, thank you so much, guys.
495
00:33:46,848.9587769 --> 00:33:52,53.9129071
You can't ban the truth, baby Right.
496
00:33:52,103.9129071 --> 00:33:55,783.9129071
We've caused enough literary chaos for one day, scary book people.
497
00:33:55,793.9129071 --> 00:33:59,363.9129071
If you want the fun to keep going, follow us on Blue Sky.
498
00:33:59,433.9129071 --> 00:34:03,553.9129071
Just head on over to bandcamppodcast.com/bluesky,
499
00:34:03,553.9129071 --> 00:34:05,833.9119071
and remember that's band with two Ns.
500
00:34:06,133.9129071 --> 00:34:17,93.9129071
And look, just like the Trump administration, we're not exactly above bribing you to get what we want, so follow us there, drop your handle on that page, and we'll send you a little something something.
501
00:34:17,93.9129071 --> 00:34:18,43.9129071
I think you'll like it.
502
00:34:18,463.9129071 --> 00:34:20,363.9129071
Yes, little quid pro quo.
503
00:34:20,963.9129071 --> 00:34:25,983.9119071
Band Camp is produced and hosted by Dan Schultz and me, Jennifer Davis.
504
00:34:26,463.9129071 --> 00:34:31,53.9119071
All media used in this episode falls under the protection of fair use.
505
00:34:31,263.9129071 --> 00:34:35,933.9129071
And finally, America isn't what it used to be, so be careful out there.
506
00:34:36,463.9129071 --> 00:34:38,43.9129071
And resist when it matters.
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