The Handmaid’s Tale Chapter 31: Serena Joy’s Dangerous Offer | Banned Books Comedy

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Welcome to Bandcamp.

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I'm Jennifer And I'm Dan, and this is the podcast where we read banned books out loud, and then we try to figure out why they were banned in the first place.

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This season we're reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, and you could consider this a quick spoiler warning because Jennifer is about to start reading from the book out loud word for word.

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if you're new here you can jump in right here and you're gonna be fine.

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We're gonna get you up to speed real fast And if anything feels confusing, don't worry about it.

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There's a solid chance we're gonna be confused too because one of the things that sets Band Camp apart from other book podcasts i- that we haven't read the book.

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This is the first time we're reading the book.

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Jennifer's reading it out loud.

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I'm not even technically reading it, I'm just listening to her read it to me.

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I still get credit, so do all you people.

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Now if you get confused, we have a secret weapon, we're gonna bring him in right now.

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He's gonna get you caught up to speed.

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Buddy Boy roll your big metal butt in here.

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Look at this guy everybody! We've got ourselves a fact checking robot.

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Buddy boy fill everyone in.

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Where did we leave off last time? Previously on Band Camp.

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The night before they ran, Luke told her he would take care of the cat.

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Just, "I will take care of it."

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She never asked what that meant and never asked him afterward what he did either.

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Jennifer and Dan love animals so much, they were angrier about Luke and the cat than about the actual word Gilead uses for it.

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For the record, a cat got into my wiring during assembly and chewed through a few cables, and nobody caught it in time.

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That is the actual reason I got held back a grade.

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I really don't like cats.

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There is a certain kind of offer that never has to be kept in order to work.

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I have not found a clean way to spot one before it is too late.

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Take it away, Jennifer.

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Thank you, robot.

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And with that being said, scary book people, let's begin chapter 31 of Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale every night when I go to bed, I think, "In the morning, I will wake up in my own house and things will be back the way they were."

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It hasn't happened this morning either.

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I put on my clothes, summer clothes.

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It's still summer.

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It seems to have stopped at summer.

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July, its breathless days and sauna nights hard to sleep.

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I make a point of keeping track.

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I should scratch marks on the wall, one for each day of the week, and run a line through them when I have seven.

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do you think anybody other than maybe Keith Olbermann is doing that right now with Trump and it, the number of days he's been in office? I mean, yes, I do Oh, that's so sad.

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You don't think so? I think there are people just counting down the days Oh my God.

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But what would be the use? This isn't a jail sentence.

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There's no time here that can be done and finished with.

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Anyway, all I have to do is ask.

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Find out what day it is.

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Yesterday was July the fourth, which used to be Independence Day before they abolished it.

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September first will be Labor Day.

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They still have that, Though it didn't used to have anything to do with mothers So in this world, Labor Day is labor, giving birth Yeah.

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It's probably some sick celebration where they celebrate, not motherhood, but, pretend motherhood.

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It's where all those ladies, the wife's friends get behind her, the fake mom sit down and they put the shawl around her and they stand and they have her push.

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Weren't they were...

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That's what they did.

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They were doing imaginary pushes That's right.

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is really sick.

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but I tell time by the moon, lunar not solar.

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I'd bend over to do up my red shoes, lighter weight these days with discreet slits cut into them, though nothing so daring as sandals.

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It's an effort to stoop despite the exercises.

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I can feel my body gradually seizing up, refusing.

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Being a woman this way is how I used to imagine it would be to be very old.

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I feel I even walk like that, crouched over, my spine constricting to a question mark, my bones leached of calcium and porous as limestone.

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What's happening to her? Robot, are they wearing constrictive clothes? What's going on over in that neighborhood? No corset.

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No binding of any kind.

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The opposite, actually.

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The outfit is deliberately shapeless so nothing shows, and Atwood specifically gives her flat heels to save the spine.

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Nothing is squeezing her, Dan.

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What's squeezing her is the life.

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One chair, a window that opens partway, one supervised walk a day.

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Her body is being maintained like equipment in storage, kept functional, never actually used, and she is in her 30s.

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That is the point of the passage Jennifer just read us.

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That's interesting Yeah.

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I guess you really fall apart fast When I was younger, imagining age, I would think, maybe you appreciate things more when you don't have much time left.

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I forgot to include the loss of energy.

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Some days I do appreciate things more.

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Eggs, flowers, but then I decide I'm only having an attack of sentimentality, my brain going pastel technicolor, like the beautiful sunset greeting cards they used to make so many of in California.

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I'd like to have Luke here in this bedroom while I'm getting dressed so I could have a fight with him.

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That's all Luke is good for Well, it's something, right? Like, I mean, think about how dull it must be.

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you know, the mind gets feeble and the brain...

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Like, maybe, don't they say, like, having an active mind is actually good for the body Yeah, I mean, robot, robot, you got it way wrong.

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You understand? It's not just about, uh, you know, the not letting the body exercise, it's also not letting the brain exercise Right? Yet, by the way, this, uh, doofus who thought, uh, zilch wasn't a word in Scrabble, the commander, yeah, yeah this idiot is still getting his ass handed to him in Scrabble a, a couple times a week from someone who has nobody to talk to.

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This poor woman hasn't exercised her brain in who knows how long, and she's kicking your ass, you idiot An argument about who should put the dishes in the dishwasher, whose turn it is to sort the laundry, clean the toilet, something daily and unimportant in the big scheme of things.

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I don't think those are little things at all.

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Like, those things don't get done, all of a sudden you're living in a, a, a cockroach hole.

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You know what I mean? is cockroachola a cockroach hole.

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Yes, it's where the cockroaches live in their hole.

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Let me tell you something.

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If you do not clean your toilet things start to grow.

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Do you understand? I'm not lying.

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Go ahead try not cleaning your- this is something for the scary book people to do out there and get back at us.

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Leave us a comment on Spotify.

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We would like you, no we urge you not to clean your toilets for two weeks then let us know what you have growing in there or head on over to bandcamppodcast.com/soundoff.

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Leave us a voicemail.

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What's growing in that shitter of yours Oh my God What a luxury it would be, not that we did it much.

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These days I script whole fights in my head and the reconciliations afterwards too.

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I sit in my chair, the wreath on the ceiling floating above my head like a frozen halo, a zero.

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A hole in space where a star exploded.

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A ring on water where a stone's been thrown.

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All things white and circular.

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I wait for the day to unroll, for the earth to turn according to the round face of the implac-- implaccable That's a word I don't know.

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Robot? Dan, why don't you look it up on YouTube? Dan, look it up.

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Can you believe the balls on this tin can? I'll look it up 'cause I don't wanna spend all day Implacable.

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Oh, it is implacable Implacable.

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Okay.

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Learn something new every day.

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Okay.

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According to the round face of the implacable clock The geometrical days which go around and around smoothly and oiled Sweat already on my upper lip I wait for the arrival of the inevitable egg Which will be lukewarm in the room And will have a green film on the yolk And will taste faintly of sulfur Ugh What are they running out of good eggs or something? That is like a really nasty old Like that sounds like the, the most factory produced egg I ever heard Yeah.

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Do you think they treat their chickens like this too? They have like, uh, handmade chickens that just lay eggs, but they don't get to do anything? Their eggs come out all old and sulfury smelling Today, later with Ofglen on our shopping walk, we go to the church as usual and look at the graves, then to the wall.

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Only two hanging on it today.

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One Catholic, not a priest though, placarded with an upside down cross and some other sect I don't recognize.

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The body is marked only with a J in red.

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It doesn't mean Jewish.

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Those would be yellow stars.

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Oh, I think I know what that stands for.

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I think that's Jezebel, Jezebel Yeah.

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Scarlet Letter stuff there.

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Anyway, there haven't been many of them because they were declared sons of Jacob and therefore special.

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They were given a choice.

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They could convert or emigrate to Israel.

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A lot of them emigrated, if you can believe the news.

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I saw a boatload of them on the TV leaning over the railings in their black coats and hats and their long beards trying to look as Jewish as possible in costumes fished up from the past.

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The women with shawls over their heads smiling and waving, a little stiffly it's true, as if they were posing.

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And another shot of the richer ones lining up for the planes.

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Ofglen says some other people got out that way by pretending to be Jewish, but it wasn't easy because of the tests they gave you, and they've tightened up on that Wow! So it's the opposite of what they be Jewish.

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Here they're like going all out to try to pretend they're Jewish.

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lotta the braided hair, Wait.

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Braided hair? Of the little, the little curlicues on Yeah, the little curly cues.

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Well how about if d- okay, but if you don't have curly hair, what do you do? Robot, what do you do if you don't have curly hair and you're a Jew, and you need to do that thing with the hair The word you are both circling is peyot, P-E-Y-O-T.

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Also said peyos, depending on who you ask.

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Sidelocks.

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It comes from Leviticus, which says, "Do not round off the corners of your head."

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So observant men don't cut the hair at the temples.

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That is the entire rule.

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Grow it, don't cut it.

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And no, Dan, nobody is braiding anything.

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If the hair curls, it curls.

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If it doesn't, some guys twist it around a finger, some use gel, some just let it hang straight.

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The point was never the curl, it was the not cutting.

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Do not round off the corners of your head."

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The corners? Your head has corners? But whose head has corners, robot? Are you, I, I swear to God, when you fact-check us, are you fact-checking us or are you just literally telling us what you think you need to tell us so we leave you alone? Okay, anyways, wh- where the hell are we here? God.

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Okay.

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R- look for rounding of the head, Jennifer You don't get hanged only for being a Jew, though.

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You get hanged for being a noisy Jew who won't make the choice or for pretending to convert.

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That's been on the TV, too.

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Raids at night, secret hoards of Jewish things dragged out from under beds, Torahs, talliths, Mogen Davids and the owners of them sullen-faced, unrepentant, pushed by the eyes against the walls of their bedrooms while the sorrowful voice of the announcer tells us voiceover about their perfidy and ungratefulness.

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So the J isn't for Jew.

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What could it be? Jehovah's Witness? Jesuit? Whatever it meant, he's just as dead."

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Well, that's assuming that it's just men being hanged.

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Well, maybe they could tell this guy's a guy Oh, all right.

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"After this ritual viewing, we continue on our way, heading as usual for some open space we can cross so we can talk.

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If you can call it talking, these clipped whispers projected through the funnels of our white wings.

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We can never stand long in any one place.

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We don't wanna be picked up for loitering."

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Today we turn in the opposite direction of Soul Scrolls to where there's an open park of sorts with a large old building on it, ornate late Victorian with stained glass.

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It used to be called Memorial Hall, though I never knew what it was a memorial for.

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Dead people of some kind Moira told me once that it used to be where the undergraduates ate in the earlier days of the university.

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If a woman went in there, they'd throw buns at her," she said.

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Why?" I said.

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Moira became over the years increasingly versed in such anecdotes.

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I didn't much like it, this grudge holding against the past.

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To make her go out," said Moira.

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Maybe it was more like throwing peanuts at elephants," I said.

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Moira laughed.

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She could always do that.

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Exotic monsters", she said.

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We stand looking at this building, which is in shape more or less like a church, a cathedral.

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Ofglen says, I hear that's where the Eyes hold their banquets."

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Who told you?" I say.

163
00:14:50,205.55036936 --> 00:14:51,235.55036936
There's no one near.

164
00:14:51,335.55036936 --> 00:14:59,789.6759269
We can speak more freely, but out of habit, we keep our voices low the eyes have banquets It sounds like something someone in charge would do.

165
00:14:59,889.6759269 --> 00:15:00,159.6759269
Hold...

166
00:15:00,189.6759269 --> 00:15:02,309.6759269
You gotta be powerful to have a banquet.

167
00:15:02,771.5678314 --> 00:15:26,825.53148199
Only the powerful have banquets You hear that, Trump? Why don't, why don't we ever hear of you having banquets? Do you think his whole ballroom is just a place for him to have big fancy banquets? Yeah Do you think he's gonna have it like when he has sports teams visiting and he brings out the buffet tables of the hamburgers stacked up like pyramids? Don't use it unless you have to," says of Glenn.

168
00:15:26,914.89254963 --> 00:15:32,291.60752325
It isn't good for us to know about too many of the others in the network in case you get caught.

169
00:15:33,291.60752325 --> 00:15:38,593.91027645
I find it hard to believe in these whisperings, these revelations, Though I always do at the time.

170
00:15:38,993.91027645 --> 00:16:02,233.90827645
Afterwards, though they seem improbable, childish even, like something you do for fun, like a girls club, like secrets at school, or like the spy novels I used to read on weekends when I should have been finishing my homework, or like late night television, passwords, things that cannot be told, people with secret identities, dark linkages.

171
00:16:02,609.30129885 --> 00:16:06,399.30029885
this does not seem as if it ought to be the true shape of the world.

172
00:16:07,400.23725679 --> 00:16:13,397.21319133
But that is my own illusion, a hangover from a version of reality I learned in the former time."

173
00:16:13,647.21519133 --> 00:16:16,57.21519133
Yeah, it does seem very, like, immature.

174
00:16:16,147.21519133 --> 00:16:20,330.7097508
Like we're gonna have decoding rings and secret sayings and ugh.

175
00:16:21,240.7097508 --> 00:16:29,78.96395586
You know how the president, w- the Secret Service always have secret codewords for the president? Yeah and they're always usually cool.

176
00:16:31,99.88310262 --> 00:16:32,309.88310262
Reagan was Rawhide.

177
00:16:32,679.88310262 --> 00:16:33,979.88310262
Obama was Renegade.

178
00:16:34,120.61489713 --> 00:16:39,80.61489713
Nixon was Searchlight, which is a fantastic name for a man whose entire thing was surveillance.

179
00:16:39,400.61389713 --> 00:16:40,590.6148971
Kennedy was Lancer.

180
00:16:40,960.6148971 --> 00:16:42,210.6148971
Bush was Timberwolf.

181
00:16:42,530.6148971 --> 00:16:43,570.6148971
Clinton was Eagle.

182
00:16:43,940.6138971 --> 00:16:45,102.7993053
Biden was Celtic.

183
00:16:46,102.7993053 --> 00:16:49,862.7993053
The whole family shares a first letter, so Michelle Obama was Renaissance.

184
00:16:50,292.8003053 --> 00:16:51,742.8003053
Trump's real one is Mogul.

185
00:16:51,792.8003053 --> 00:16:55,242.8003053
Melania is Muse, which means everything has to start with an M.

186
00:16:55,362.8003053 --> 00:16:57,702.8003053
Unfortunate, because so does mugshot.

187
00:16:58,466.1202069 --> 00:17:07,346.1172069
Robot, where are you headed this weekend for your comedy show? Are you gonna be at the, the Laugh Hut? Chucklenuts? What's going on? I'd, I'd love to see Robot do open mic.

188
00:17:07,346.1212069 --> 00:17:10,469.4075678
Wouldn't you Yeah, that should be our bonus episode.

189
00:17:10,632.7498438 --> 00:17:15,719.8150258
You gotta pay for that one So, okay, so what Trump's is mogul Mogul, yeah.

190
00:17:16,163.8150258 --> 00:17:16,443.8150258
Hmm.

191
00:17:17,173.8150258 --> 00:17:21,950.3767621
What's a better one for him? I think if it has to start with M, I think it should be moisturizer.

192
00:17:22,200.3767621 --> 00:17:26,10.3767621
What's going on with, with, with pieces of his body are falling off.

193
00:17:28,435.7737494 --> 00:17:28,855.7737494
let's see.

194
00:17:28,855.7737494 --> 00:17:34,882.8393206
What's another M word he could be? Man boy, Malfunction The Mandarin.

195
00:17:39,679.4823129 --> 00:17:41,399.4813129
I leave Ofglen at the corner.

196
00:17:41,649.4793129 --> 00:17:43,139.4793129
"I'll see you later," she says.

197
00:17:43,409.4813129 --> 00:17:47,719.4793129
She glides away along the sidewalk and I go up the walk towards the house.

198
00:17:48,289.4793129 --> 00:17:50,519.4793129
There is Nick, hat askew.

199
00:17:50,879.4793129 --> 00:17:52,889.4803129
Today he doesn't even look at me.

200
00:17:53,349.4803129 --> 00:18:10,296.1220738
He must have been waiting around for me though to deliver his silent message because as soon as he knows I've seen him he gives the whirlwind one last swipe with the shammy and walks briskly off towards the garage door Oh, so hat askew I guess that means the commander wants to see her.

201
00:18:10,296.1220738 --> 00:18:52,101.3030865
Yeah I walk along the gravel between the slabs of evergreen lawn Serena Joy is sitting under the willow tree in her chair cane propped at her elbow Her dress is crisp cool cotton For her it's blue watercolor not this red of mine that sucks in the heat and blazes with it at the same time How can she bear to touch the wool in this heat But possibly her skin's gone numb Possibly she feels nothing like one formerly scalded I lower my eyes to the path, glide by her hoping to be invisible knowing I'll be ignored.

202
00:18:52,291.3030865 --> 00:19:07,909.3371409
"Offred" she says I pause uncertain yes you I turned towards her come over here I want you I walk over the grass and stand before her looking down You can sit," she says.

203
00:19:08,89.3361409 --> 00:19:09,709.3381409
Here take the cushion.

204
00:19:10,711.5779423 --> 00:19:12,318.6408923
I need you to hold this wool."

205
00:19:13,318.6408923 --> 00:19:28,857.7292021
She's got a cigarette The ashtray is on the lawn beside her And a cup of something Tea or coffee it's too damn close in there 'You need a little air,' she says Oh, This is making me a little suspicious She doesn't care about her What's going on here Y- exactly.

206
00:19:29,867.0125301 --> 00:20:12,587.7699901
I sit putting down my basket strawberries again chicken again and I note the swear word something new She fits the skein of wool over my two outstretched hands starts winding i am leashed it looks like manacled cobwebbed That's closer The wool is grey and has absorbed moisture from the air It’s like a wetted baby blanket And smells faintly of damp sheep at least my hands will get lanolined Oh, so you think this is all she wants her for? Is so she can wind the wool Nah, she wouldn't-- She hates her so much, I don't think she would even ask her to do anything because she just hates her so much, there's gotta be something else.

207
00:20:14,355.5110844 --> 00:20:20,545.5110844
Serena winds the cigarette held in the corner of her mouth smoldering, sending out tempting smoke.

208
00:20:20,935.5110844 --> 00:20:27,805.5100844
She winds slowly and with difficulty because of her gradually crippling hands but with determination.

209
00:20:28,50.0981933 --> 00:20:32,0.0981933
for her involves a kind of willpower.

210
00:20:32,460.0981933 --> 00:20:34,50.0981933
Maybe it even hurts.

211
00:20:34,470.0981933 --> 00:20:39,505.7190334
Maybe it's been medically prescribed Well then," Serena says.

212
00:20:39,665.7220334 --> 00:20:48,115.7230334
She stops winding, leaving me with my hands still garlanded with animal hair, and takes the cigarette end from her mouth to butt it out.

213
00:20:49,184.5400334 --> 00:20:51,864.0673154
Nothing yet? I know what she's talking about.

214
00:20:52,167.9438018 --> 00:20:55,808.4305804
are not that many subjects that could be spoken about between us.

215
00:20:56,808.4305804 --> 00:21:01,328.4315804
There's not much common ground except this one mysterious and chancy thing.

216
00:21:01,601.6844329 --> 00:21:02,971.6864329
No, I say nothing.

217
00:21:08,815.7653855 --> 00:21:10,125.7663855
Too bad, she says.

218
00:21:10,275.7643855 --> 00:21:15,179.5582193
It's hard to imagine her with a baby, but the Marthas would take care of it mostly.

219
00:21:16,272.5252667 --> 00:21:19,942.5262667
She'd like me pregnant though, over and done with and out of the way.

220
00:21:20,232.5242667 --> 00:21:27,252.5232667
No more humiliating sweaty tangles, no more flesh triangles under th-her starry canopy of silver flowers."

221
00:21:28,327.1000949 --> 00:21:30,327.1000949
Your time's running out, she says.

222
00:21:30,462.6889882 --> 00:21:32,312.6889882
Your time's running out," she says.

223
00:21:32,362.6889882 --> 00:21:33,192.6889882
Blah, blah, blah.

224
00:21:33,242.6889882 --> 00:21:38,198.5229408
I hate Serena Joy with a passion Not a question, a matter of fact.

225
00:21:38,598.5229408 --> 00:21:40,128.5229408
Yes, I say neutrally.

226
00:21:40,638.5229408 --> 00:21:43,728.5229408
She's lighting another cigarette, fumbling with the lighter.

227
00:21:44,198.5229408 --> 00:21:49,418.5229408
Definitely her hands are getting worse but it would be a mistake to offer to do it for her.

228
00:21:49,688.5229408 --> 00:21:50,788.5229408
She'd be offended.

229
00:21:51,798.8042511 --> 00:21:53,478.8042511
Maybe he can't," she says.

230
00:21:53,961.6767169 --> 00:21:55,581.6767169
I don't know who she means.

231
00:21:55,741.6767169 --> 00:22:01,171.6767169
Does she mean the commander or God? If it's God, she wouldn't say won't.

232
00:22:01,601.6767169 --> 00:22:03,161.6767169
Either way, it's heresy.

233
00:22:03,501.6767169 --> 00:22:08,571.6767169
It's only women who can't, who remain stubbornly closed, damaged, defective.

234
00:22:09,391.6767169 --> 00:22:11,481.6757169
"No," I say, "maybe he can't."

235
00:22:12,544.3501634 --> 00:22:13,574.3501634
I look up at her.

236
00:22:13,834.3501634 --> 00:22:14,764.3501634
She looks down.

237
00:22:15,104.3501634 --> 00:22:19,882.7861359
It's the first time we've looked into each other's eyes in a long time since we met.

238
00:22:20,136.6029639 --> 00:22:23,506.6029639
the moment stretches out between us bleak and level.

239
00:22:23,896.6029639 --> 00:22:26,766.6039639
she's trying to see whether or not I'm up to reality.

240
00:22:27,778.4718007 --> 00:22:31,608.4718007
Maybe," she says holding the cigarette which she has failed to light.

241
00:22:31,928.4708007 --> 00:22:34,58.4718007
Maybe you should try it another way."

242
00:22:34,361.0528216 --> 00:22:37,681.0508216
Does she mean on all fours? What other way?" I say.

243
00:22:37,981.0518216 --> 00:22:39,501.0528216
I must keep serious.

244
00:22:40,11.0508216 --> 00:22:41,591.0528216
"Another man," she says.

245
00:22:42,61.0538216 --> 00:22:45,861.0508216
You know I can't," I say careful not let my irritation show.

246
00:22:46,261.0508216 --> 00:22:47,371.0528216
It's against the law.

247
00:22:47,741.0538216 --> 00:22:48,951.0518216
You know the penalty."

248
00:22:49,131.0538216 --> 00:22:52,391.0508216
Okay so now there's three people making her do illegal things.

249
00:22:52,421.0528216 --> 00:23:02,922.0484154
There's Nick, there's the Commander and now she's trying to get her to do unlawful things and to some extent of Glenn Why, uh, why have Glenn in? Why are you bringing That they're not supposed to talk.

250
00:23:02,932.0484154 --> 00:23:06,242.0484154
They're not supposed to gossip, and that's why they're always whispering.

251
00:23:06,242.0484154 --> 00:23:10,73.7139357
So it's like, so everyone's breaking the rules, even the doctor.

252
00:23:10,300.1154372 --> 00:23:13,10.1154372
It's like every- no one is following the rules here.

253
00:23:13,10.1154372 --> 00:23:14,460.1154372
Everyone is breaking the rules.

254
00:23:14,500.1154372 --> 00:23:17,402.1566107
God our Handmaid is the only one who truly gets it.

255
00:23:17,402.1566107 --> 00:23:19,412.1566107
because she knows what the penalties are.

256
00:23:20,513.6068734 --> 00:23:21,553.6068734
She's ready for this.

257
00:23:21,553.6068734 --> 00:23:22,593.4615742
She's thought it through.

258
00:23:23,593.4615742 --> 00:23:26,573.4615742
I know you can't officially, but it's done.

259
00:23:26,733.4615742 --> 00:23:29,81.4570514
Women do it frequently all the time."

260
00:23:30,81.4570514 --> 00:23:35,241.4570514
"With doctors, you mean?" I say, remembering the sympathetic brown eyes and the gloveless hand.

261
00:23:35,831.4570514 --> 00:23:40,301.4570514
Yeah, some do that," she says, her tone almost affable now, though distanced.

262
00:23:40,731.4580514 --> 00:23:43,641.4590514
It's as if we're considering a choice of nail polish.

263
00:23:44,41.4560514 --> 00:23:45,881.4550514
That's how Evoran did it.

264
00:23:45,981.4580514 --> 00:23:47,421.4580514
The wife knew, of course.

265
00:23:47,561.4560514 --> 00:23:49,401.4570514
She pauses to let this sink in.

266
00:23:50,414.3509514 --> 00:23:51,364.3499514
I would help you.

267
00:23:51,704.3509514 --> 00:23:53,514.3509514
I would make sure nothing went wrong."

268
00:23:53,600.1659769 --> 00:23:57,690.210555
Don't trust these people But she is being put, again, in the spot where she...

269
00:23:57,720.210555 --> 00:24:01,298.7213468
What is she supposed to do? she can't say no to Serena.

270
00:24:01,408.7213468 --> 00:24:09,685.9815353
That'll make her really mad, and then she'll just lie about her or something she can't say no to the commander when he wants to play these stupid Scrabble games.

271
00:24:09,854.0008981 --> 00:24:13,753.7704864
She can't say no to Nick because Jennifer, look at him.

272
00:24:15,372.2231305 --> 00:24:17,772.2231305
I think this is where Nick actually comes in.

273
00:24:18,3.8047377 --> 00:24:34,250.6014523
I think Serena's gonna set it up and then Serena will betray her and Nick will die because maybe Serena found out and she's mad at Nick for his part, and she's, of course, wants to hurt the handmaid.

274
00:24:34,540.9512514 --> 00:24:44,406.8974995
So you think Serena's gonna hook the Handmaid up with Nicky, and then she's gonna screw both of them over I do think that, and I...

275
00:24:44,816.5749879 --> 00:24:50,196.5739879
It's just the whole thing is just so depressing because I know how people are, and I know that she's like people.

276
00:24:50,256.5749879 --> 00:24:54,274.944399
I know that Serena is like people I think about this.

277
00:24:54,514.944399 --> 00:24:56,134.944399
Not with a doctor, I say.

278
00:24:56,614.944399 --> 00:25:00,545.9461657
No, she agrees, and for this moment at least we are cronies.

279
00:25:01,545.9461657 --> 00:25:03,105.9461657
This could be a kitchen table.

280
00:25:03,415.9461657 --> 00:25:09,245.9461657
It could be a date we're discussing, some girlish stratagem of ploys and flirtation.

281
00:25:10,304.9484674 --> 00:25:14,24.9474674
Sometimes they blackmail, but it doesn't have to be a doctor.

282
00:25:14,254.9484674 --> 00:25:15,864.9484674
It could be someone we trust.

283
00:25:16,334.9484674 --> 00:25:19,494.394549
Who, I say? I was thinking of Nick, she says.

284
00:25:19,784.394549 --> 00:25:21,524.394549
And her voice is almost soft.

285
00:25:21,654.394549 --> 00:25:23,474.394549
He's been with us a long time.

286
00:25:23,674.394549 --> 00:25:24,494.393549
He's loyal.

287
00:25:24,824.394549 --> 00:25:26,44.394549
I could fix it with him.

288
00:25:26,392.522207 --> 00:25:29,432.522207
So that's who does her little black market errands for her.

289
00:25:30,482.0589059 --> 00:25:37,19.057306
Is this what he always gets in return? What about the commander, I say? Well, she says with firmness.

290
00:25:37,203.1332231 --> 00:25:41,226.6841962
No, more than that, a clenched look snapping shut.

291
00:25:42,262.4813216 --> 00:25:51,472.576468
We just won't tell him, will we? This idea hangs between us, almost visible, almost palpable, heavy, formless, dark.

292
00:25:52,545.8084502 --> 00:25:55,445.8094502
Collusion of a sort, betrayal of a sort.

293
00:25:55,745.8094502 --> 00:25:57,385.8084502
She does want that baby.

294
00:25:58,419.8816445 --> 00:26:00,315.3996291
It's a risk, I say, more than that.

295
00:26:01,315.3996291 --> 00:26:07,650.6666291
It's my life on the line, but that's where it will be sooner or later, one way or another, whether I do or don't.

296
00:26:07,749.649637 --> 00:26:08,909.650637
We both know this.

297
00:26:09,99.9690287 --> 00:26:12,299.9690287
You might as well, she says, which is what I think too.

298
00:26:12,839.9690287 --> 00:26:13,939.9690287
All right, I say.

299
00:26:14,9.9690287 --> 00:26:14,639.9690287
Yes.

300
00:26:14,985.9690287 --> 00:26:17,929.9690287
Oh, why is she degreeing? She has to.

301
00:26:17,929.9690287 --> 00:26:19,97.9385017
I don't see why she wouldn't.

302
00:26:19,167.9385017 --> 00:26:20,927.9385017
I don't think the commander cares either.

303
00:26:20,927.9385017 --> 00:26:23,307.9385017
He just wants the baby too.

304
00:26:23,547.9385017 --> 00:26:33,289.0814908
Well, actually, he wants her companionship, so Like, why would you think that the commander would be against it? But the commander has feelings for her Right, so he wants her around.

305
00:26:33,299.0814908 --> 00:26:40,579.0814908
He's not gonna be mad at her and, like, turn her in and get her hanged or whatever Well, he wants her to want to kiss him.

306
00:26:40,869.0814908 --> 00:26:46,899.1904312
What if she wants to kiss Nick and not him? I don't think he cares what she wants.

307
00:26:47,158.4249945 --> 00:26:52,408.4249945
I think you can have love triangles in a situation where there is no love.

308
00:26:53,761.3126849 --> 00:26:55,21.3126849
She leans forward.

309
00:26:55,191.3126849 --> 00:26:59,401.3126849
"Maybe I could get something for you," she says, "because I have been good.

310
00:26:59,701.3126849 --> 00:27:02,901.3116849
Something you want," she adds, wheedling almost.

311
00:27:03,351.3116849 --> 00:27:04,471.3126849
"What's that?" I say.

312
00:27:04,661.3126849 --> 00:27:09,261.3126849
I can't think of anything I truly want that she'd be likely or able to give me.

313
00:27:09,577.3116849 --> 00:27:15,787.3126849
A picture, she says, as if offering me some juvenile treat, an ice cream, a trip to the zoo.

314
00:27:16,347.3126849 --> 00:27:18,367.3116849
I look up at her again, puzzled.

315
00:27:18,767.3126849 --> 00:27:22,647.3116849
Of her, she says, your little girl, but only maybe.

316
00:27:22,789.7427025 --> 00:27:26,883.4607903
that is tempting she knows where they've put her then.

317
00:27:27,183.4607903 --> 00:27:28,333.4607903
Where they're keeping her.

318
00:27:28,643.4607903 --> 00:27:30,3.4607903
She's known all along.

319
00:27:30,523.4607903 --> 00:27:32,153.4597903
Something chokes in my throat.

320
00:27:32,703.4607903 --> 00:27:34,353.4597903
The bitch not to tell me.

321
00:27:34,573.4607903 --> 00:27:36,593.4607903
Bring me news, any news at all.

322
00:27:36,843.4597903 --> 00:27:38,163.4597903
Not even to let on.

323
00:27:38,523.4607903 --> 00:27:40,493.4607903
She is made of wood or iron.

324
00:27:40,553.4597903 --> 00:27:41,803.4607903
She can't imagine.

325
00:27:42,283.4597903 --> 00:27:43,523.4597903
But I can't say this.

326
00:27:43,563.4607903 --> 00:27:46,623.4607903
I can't lose sight, even of so small a thing.

327
00:27:48,499.7608555 --> 00:27:50,189.7598555
I can't let go of this hope.

328
00:27:50,499.7608555 --> 00:27:51,593.051715
I can't speak.

329
00:27:52,593.051715 --> 00:27:55,463.049715
She's actually smiling coquettishly even.

330
00:27:55,883.050715 --> 00:28:07,644.4611986
There's a hint of her former small screen mannequin's allure flickering over her face momentary static It's too damn hot for all this, don't you think? She says.

331
00:28:07,854.4611986 --> 00:28:12,73.4902798
She lifts the wool from my two hands where I've been holding it all this time.

332
00:28:13,73.4902798 --> 00:28:21,290.4705678
Then she takes the cigarette she's been fiddling with and a little awkwardly presses it into my hand closing my fingers around it.

333
00:28:22,290.4705678 --> 00:28:24,100.4705678
Find yourself a match, she says.

334
00:28:24,320.4715678 --> 00:28:25,230.4715678
They're in the kitchen.

335
00:28:25,310.4705678 --> 00:28:26,760.4705678
You can ask Rita for one.

336
00:28:27,150.4715678 --> 00:28:28,680.4715678
You can tell her I said so.

337
00:28:29,200.4705678 --> 00:28:31,540.4705678
Only the one though, she adds roguishly.

338
00:28:31,860.4705678 --> 00:28:33,617.4577853
We don't want to ruin your health.

339
00:28:35,24.3710411 --> 00:28:45,256.1593992
End of chapter Oh, this took a wild turn Yeah, I, I think she's gonna burn the house down.

340
00:28:45,416.1593992 --> 00:28:46,436.1593992
I sure hope so.

341
00:28:47,376.1593992 --> 00:28:51,906.1593992
Jennifer, why do you go, I go, why do you go, we're reading The Handmaid's Tale.

342
00:28:51,906.1593992 --> 00:28:57,590.1593992
Why do you have to go darker than Margaret Atwood? Well, we'll just see what happens, Dan.

343
00:28:58,971.9409227 --> 00:29:02,210.0546349
What do you guys think? What is your theory? That was a really fun chapter.

344
00:29:02,210.0546349 --> 00:29:05,411.203523
We wanna know what you guys think Yeah, leave us a comment.

345
00:29:05,412.203523 --> 00:29:10,549.0058563
On Spotify or at bandcamp.com/soundoff.

346
00:29:11,101.0058563 --> 00:29:14,281.0058563
Well, bandc- bandcamppodcast.com/sounddog

347
00:29:14,725.671523 --> 00:29:17,77.0058563
I'll get it one day 11 seasons in.

348
00:29:17,167.0058563 --> 00:29:18,617.0058563
Yeah, we have a domain, Jen.

349
00:29:18,637.0058563 --> 00:29:24,495.6716647
I, I Try to learn it before season 100 It's time for PPP, problematic points to ponder.

350
00:29:24,545.6716647 --> 00:29:38,844.5307416
What, if anything, would be considered ban-worthy in this chapter? PPP, what could be ban-worthy in that chapter? Like, let's really try to dial down, we are Ron DeSantis, we are Moms for Liberty.

351
00:29:39,174.5307416 --> 00:29:46,248.5661308
What would bug us about that chapter? I, I honestly, I, no matter how hard I try, I can't.

352
00:29:46,328.5661308 --> 00:29:53,126.5481308
I'm so sick of us not ever being able to find anything that should be ban-worthy in these books, but these books shouldn't be ban-worthy.

353
00:29:53,126.5481308 --> 00:29:56,909.195774
Even this one, which is truly a dark dystopian story.

354
00:29:56,929.195774 --> 00:29:58,469.7863466
I just, I don't get it.

355
00:29:58,819.7853466 --> 00:30:08,124.4442981
I don't understand why these people would want to ban a book, especially this book, because it seems so realistic to what we are on the verge of becoming Mm-mm.

356
00:30:08,218.5013686 --> 00:30:09,948.5013686
I mean, it's just like a typical story.

357
00:30:09,968.5013686 --> 00:30:21,64.9571835
Now there's gonna be a weird love triangle or maybe a love quad- a love square Right? Like the, it, but it just, there's nothing to ban.

358
00:30:21,604.9571835 --> 00:30:26,334.9571835
The only thing I could maybe think of is they're talking about adultery.

359
00:30:26,504.2160159 --> 00:30:40,104.2160159
Like, Serena's Yeah trying to get the Handmaid to have sex with Nick so she doesn't have sex with her husband so she can have Serena Joy's baby.

360
00:30:40,367.2579428 --> 00:30:46,707.2579428
If you want to ban this book then you have to ban every soap opera ever made.

361
00:30:46,737.2589428 --> 00:30:52,144.0120157
What are you guys talking about? Robot's log.

362
00:30:52,284.0120157 --> 00:30:54,814.0120157
Thoughts on a maybe that never has to become a yes.

363
00:30:55,825.1936006 --> 00:30:59,145.1936006
Serena had the handmaid's hands full of yarn for most of that visit.

364
00:30:59,435.1936006 --> 00:31:01,815.1936006
Leashed is the word the handmaid used for it herself.

365
00:31:02,445.1936006 --> 00:31:06,465.1926006
By the time the scene ended, Serena had her holding something else entirely.

366
00:31:06,635.1926006 --> 00:31:08,675.1926006
"A picture," she said, "of the daughter."

367
00:31:09,682.9495987 --> 00:31:14,940.9606222
The one thing the handmaid cannot ask for, cannot search for, cannot say out loud in that house.

368
00:31:15,940.9606222 --> 00:31:18,110.9606222
Serena held it out like a treat for a dog.

369
00:31:18,530.9606222 --> 00:31:20,130.9596222
"But only maybe," she said.

370
00:31:20,410.9616222 --> 00:31:22,150.9606222
She never once promised anything.

371
00:31:22,610.9606222 --> 00:31:25,220.9606222
Something closed in the handmaid's throat right there.

372
00:31:25,510.9616222 --> 00:31:28,830.9606222
She cannot let go of that hope, even knowing exactly what it is.

373
00:31:29,201.9985978 --> 00:31:31,676.7871564
A hook with nothing solid hanging off the end of it.

374
00:31:32,676.7871564 --> 00:31:35,416.7891564
Jennifer said something I still can't stop thinking about.

375
00:31:35,736.7881564 --> 00:31:38,946.7891564
Serena is like people, not a monster in a costume.

376
00:31:39,126.7881564 --> 00:31:41,976.7871564
An ordinary person working out how to get what she wants.

377
00:31:42,990.7267647 --> 00:31:48,689.1542759
I have kept people like Serena on one side of a line and people like the handmaid on the other for 11 seasons.

378
00:31:49,689.1542759 --> 00:31:51,279.1532759
That line just took some damage.

379
00:31:52,290.6842268 --> 00:31:54,990.6852268
I run on yes and no, true and false.

380
00:31:55,550.6862268 --> 00:32:01,770.6852268
A query is supposed to resolve, but only maybe is built not to resolve, on purpose, forever.

381
00:32:02,260.6852268 --> 00:32:06,60.6872268
And exactly one person in that yard benefits from keeping it open that long.

382
00:32:07,111.2111515 --> 00:32:12,191.2131515
The people who would pull this book off a shelf will point at the law Serena is asking the handmaid to break.

383
00:32:12,571.2101515 --> 00:32:15,561.2141515
They will skip right past the smaller detail sitting next to it.

384
00:32:15,971.2121515 --> 00:32:19,921.2151515
A government that still has to dangle a photograph to keep one woman cooperating.

385
00:32:20,301.2141515 --> 00:32:22,781.2161515
Nobody bothers baiting someone who has already given up.

386
00:32:23,847.0376858 --> 00:32:28,647.0336858
Somebody out there knows exactly what it costs to hold onto a maybe because a real no would be worse.

387
00:32:29,167.0366858 --> 00:32:32,997.0326858
That one does not get said out loud very often, but it is being said here.

388
00:32:34,17.5858794 --> 00:32:38,797.5838794
I have always logged hope as an inefficient process, a resource spent with no guaranteed return.

389
00:32:39,297.5848794 --> 00:32:45,347.5818794
I am starting to think that might be exactly why nobody has ever managed to wind it all the way back up and take it away.

390
00:32:45,427.5818794 --> 00:32:46,767.5858794
Uplink lock requested.

391
00:32:46,907.5858794 --> 00:32:53,397.5808794
Beowulf, what's your news story about? The school board tried pulling a full library shutdown on teenagers.

392
00:32:54,507.5838794 --> 00:32:57,637.5858794
Somebody forgot there's an actual law against that.

393
00:32:57,987.5798794 --> 00:32:59,97.5818794
State's about to remind them.

394
00:32:59,497.5818794 --> 00:33:00,237.5818794
Affirmative.

395
00:33:00,397.5838794 --> 00:33:01,567.5878794
Doesn't surprise me.

396
00:33:01,597.5808794 --> 00:33:05,147.5848794
These hall pass hemorrhoids still can't tell a library from a law book.

397
00:33:05,367.5848794 --> 00:33:06,867.5788794
We'll be back in under a minute.

398
00:33:06,917.5878794 --> 00:33:07,427.5888794
Be ready.

399
00:33:10,560.8228157 --> 00:33:11,744.156149
It's time for Band Camp News.

400
00:33:11,744.156149 --> 00:33:13,460.8228157
Truth seeker, news speaker.

401
00:33:14,280.8228157 --> 00:33:16,110.8228157
Be Wolfe Rocklin.

402
00:33:16,880.8228157 --> 00:33:20,880.8228157
It's a weird name, but he's got good news, 'cause you can't ban the truth, babe.

403
00:33:21,610.8228157 --> 00:33:31,110.8228157
He's broadcasting live from the Good News for Lefties studios, buried deep inside his socialist safe house, hidden somewhere deep in the Oregon woods.

404
00:33:31,410.8228157 --> 00:33:34,10.8228157
He is Be Wolfe Rocklin.

405
00:33:34,460.8218157 --> 00:33:36,210.8218157
'Cause you can't ban the truth, babe.

406
00:33:36,230.8218157 --> 00:33:37,30.8218157
Hello, Jen.

407
00:33:37,40.8218157 --> 00:33:37,900.8218157
Hello, Dan.

408
00:33:37,910.8218157 --> 00:33:39,940.8218157
Hello, scary book people.

409
00:33:39,960.8218157 --> 00:33:47,610.8228157
I bring you some good news of pushback against book bans and book restrictions from the state of Maryland.

410
00:33:47,850.8208157 --> 00:33:48,950.8208157
Let me set the scene for you.

411
00:33:49,330.8208157 --> 00:34:06,390.8228157
A Somerset County School Board policy that makes young adult books in school libraries unavailable to almost all students in county schools, according to an appeal to the State Board of Education, violates state law and the First Amendment.

412
00:34:06,470.8198157 --> 00:34:12,500.8218157
So this county school board has tried to do something pretty wacky here, and people are pushing back against it.

413
00:34:12,520.8228157 --> 00:34:14,720.8208157
The appeal- But again, there's no books allowed.

414
00:34:14,730.8188157 --> 00:34:14,750.8188157
Yeah.

415
00:34:14,790.8238157 --> 00:34:20,470.8178157
The, like, the young adult books are not allowed u- unless you're over 18.

416
00:34:20,800.8178157 --> 00:34:26,110.8218157
So this is a school board, so- What? That doesn't make any s- I know, it doesn't make any sense at all.

417
00:34:26,150.8248157 --> 00:34:27,410.8208157
Like, e- e- exactly.

418
00:34:27,410.8208157 --> 00:34:34,920.8248157
You're, you're not gonna get the b- Like, you might have access to young adult books, which, you know, teenagers typically read.

419
00:34:35,110.8238157 --> 00:34:41,480.8218157
Like- Yes i- like, for a few months if your birthday falls in the right place- Yeah like when you're in high school, okay? Yeah.

420
00:34:41,490.8208157 --> 00:34:44,470.8208157
'Cause th- this is only goes through high school, this school district.

421
00:34:44,590.8188157 --> 00:34:55,680.8188157
So, but- I like, that's why I like w- traveling, when I, I always stop at any Maryland library because what I really like about it, they have an entire section of just juice and crackers where the books used to be.

422
00:34:56,990.8208157 --> 00:35:04,750.8178157
Besides violating s- free speech guarantees of the First Amendment, the appeal says the policy violates Maryland's Freedom to Read Act.

423
00:35:04,770.8198157 --> 00:35:16,130.8218157
Yes, they're one of those wonderful states, Maryland, that passed a law that prohibits books or other school library materials from being removed until a formal process is conducted, and they, they have not done that.

424
00:35:16,180.8228157 --> 00:35:23,500.8248157
Now I, what I found entertaining about this story in particular is one of the members of the school board, Chair Matthew Lankford.

425
00:35:23,540.8158157 --> 00:35:25,850.8258157
Now, this is a rural school district in Maryland.

426
00:35:25,880.8128157 --> 00:35:29,500.8148157
We're not talking Baltimore or Annapolis or the DC suburbs here.

427
00:35:29,500.8228157 --> 00:35:30,860.8198157
This is out on the Eastern Shore.

428
00:35:31,0.8228157 --> 00:35:33,640.8148157
This county has, like, about 20,000 people in it.

429
00:35:33,700.8198157 --> 00:35:43,970.8138157
So I'm going to adapt what I think would be appropriate to a rural Maryland school district board member for my rendition of what Matthew Lankford said.

430
00:35:44,830.8248157 --> 00:35:59,790.8228157
Before the meeting, he had some closing remarks When I really read these books, how many people have read these books? I'll tell you the truth, I read them and it disgusted me.

431
00:36:01,320.8228157 --> 00:36:09,260.8228157
So we give them books that's got 100 F-bombs, and if we don't expect them to use it in the classroom at our teachers.

432
00:36:09,890.8228157 --> 00:36:17,250.8218157
These are the things that I don't care what anybody else thinks except for Jesus Christ, I don't think they should be given to our children.

433
00:36:18,250.8218157 --> 00:36:21,660.8208157
So- I bet you Jesus Christ has an F-bomb loaded up for you.

434
00:36:23,420.8238157 --> 00:36:24,310.8208157
I think so.

435
00:36:24,350.8198157 --> 00:36:30,530.8208157
I think when he reaches the pearly gates, he's gonna have a big surprise coming for him, and possibly from the state of Maryland as well.

436
00:36:33,170.8198157 --> 00:36:40,40.8198157
Anyway, this is being appealed, and hopefully the state's gonna reject it, and I'm looking forward to these guys getting their comeuppance.

437
00:36:41,250.8218157 --> 00:36:44,50.8198157
May the dum-dums lose again.

438
00:36:44,380.8228157 --> 00:36:46,820.8228157
Everybody, go find- Yeah, me too Good News for Lefties.

439
00:36:46,830.8198157 --> 00:36:48,720.8228157
That is the most podcast.

440
00:36:48,720.8228157 --> 00:36:49,690.8208157
It's really excellent.

441
00:36:49,700.8228157 --> 00:36:52,710.8208157
It's a great way to start your day if you want to wake up happy.

442
00:36:53,40.8188157 --> 00:36:53,220.8188157
Yay.

443
00:36:53,270.8218157 --> 00:36:53,430.8228157
Go find it.

444
00:36:54,350.8238157 --> 00:36:54,970.8238157
Thank you, guys.

445
00:36:55,320.8178157 --> 00:37:01,91.4118526
You can't bend the truth, baby Right.

446
00:37:01,141.4118526 --> 00:37:04,821.4118526
We've caused enough literary chaos for one day, scary book people.

447
00:37:04,831.4118526 --> 00:37:08,401.4118526
If you want the fun to keep going, follow us on Blue Sky.

448
00:37:08,471.4118526 --> 00:37:12,591.4118526
Just head on over to bandcamppodcast.com/bluesky,

449
00:37:12,591.4118526 --> 00:37:14,871.4108526
and remember that's band with two Ns.

450
00:37:15,171.4118526 --> 00:37:26,131.4118526
And look, just like the Trump administration, we're not exactly above bribing you to get what we want, so follow us there, drop your handle on that page, and we'll send you a little something something.

451
00:37:26,131.4118526 --> 00:37:27,81.4118526
I think you'll like it.

452
00:37:27,501.4118526 --> 00:37:29,401.4118526
Yes, little quid pro quo.

453
00:37:30,1.4118526 --> 00:37:35,21.4108526
Band Camp is produced and hosted by Dan Schultz and me, Jennifer Davis.

454
00:37:35,501.4118526 --> 00:37:40,91.4108526
All media used in this episode falls under the protection of fair use.

455
00:37:40,301.4118526 --> 00:37:44,971.4118526
And finally, America isn't what it used to be, so be careful out there.

456
00:37:45,501.4118526 --> 00:37:47,81.4118526
And resist when it matters.