The Handmaid’s Tale Ch. 25: For Him, She’s Only a Whim | Banned Books Comedy

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Welcome to Bandcamp.

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I'm Jennifer And I'm Dan, and this is the podcast where we read banned books out loud, and then we try to figure out why they were banned in the first place This season we are reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, and you can consider this a very quick spoiler warning because Jennifer is about to start reading from the book out loud word for word, so anything coming out of her mouth is probably gonna be a spoil, unless at the very least you watched the Hulu TV show or read the book.

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If you're new here, you can totally jump in right here.

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You're gonna be fine.

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We are gonna get you up to speed real quick, I promise, because we've got a secret weapon.

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More on him in a second.

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If anything does feel confusing though, it really makes sense.

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We're confused too.

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We've never read this book, so we are right there with you.

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Now, let's talk about our secret weapon.

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We're gonna roll him in right now.

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Buddy boy, roll your metal can in here.

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Look at this guy, everybody.

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We've got ourselves a fact-checking, honest-to-God robot.

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Robot, tell everyone where we left off last time so they don't get confused.

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Previously on Band Camp, Jennifer read about a woman on an old TV rerun.

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She used to be with a man who ran a death camp.

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Their house sat right next to it, pool and all.

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Years later, she looked into a camera and said he was not a monster.

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A few days after they filmed that interview, she killed herself.

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Dan wanted to call the HOA on the guy.

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"I want to be clear that is a real thing," Dan said out loud, about a man running Auschwitz next door.

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That's right.

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I'd do it again.

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I stand by it Some people keep a rare thing locked away for years and never once ask who else in the house might need it more.

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Here's Jennifer to read for you.

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Thank you, robot.

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And with that being said, scary book people, let's begin chapter 25 of Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale.

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What I heard first the next morning was a scream and a crash.

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Cora dropping the breakfast tray.

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It woke me up.

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Oh, so, little mishaps still happen in this crazy world.

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It's probably the most normal thing that happens.

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Yeah, Yeah exactly.

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I was still half in the cupboard, head on the bundled cloak.

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I must have pulled it off with the hanger and gone to sleep there.

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For a moment, I couldn't remember where I was.

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Cora was kneeling beside me.

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I felt her hand touch my back.

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She screamed again when I moved.

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Oh, she scared Cora.

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Cora thought she was dead.

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The Handmaid figured out a way to kill herself in a room where you can't kill yourself that would be the new game, right? It'll try to freak people out? No, no, I mean, I think you'd try to kill yourself.

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You're gonna try to, "Okay, how can I kill myself? Okay, like I got a pillow that says faith, and that's all I got in here.

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I got some butter and a shoe."

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Death by butter What's wrong?" I said.

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I rolled over, pushed myself up.

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Oh," she said.

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"I thought..."

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She thought what? Like," she said.

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The eggs had broken on the floor.

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There was orange juice and shattered glass.

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I'll have to bring another one," she said.

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"Such a waste.

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What was you doing on the floor like that?" She was pulling at me to get me up, respectably onto my feet.

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I didn't want to tell her I'd never been to bed at all.

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There would be no way of explaining that.

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I told her I must have fainted, That was almost as bad because she seized on it.

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"It's one of the early signs," she said, pleased.

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Oh, she's like, "Oh, you're pregnant."

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It's so sad.

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it's like she's terrified the woman died, but only because she produces babies.

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Like, it just reinforces that.

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That and throwing up.

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She should have known that there hadn't been enough time, but she was very hopeful.

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No, it's not that," I said.

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I was just standing here and things went dark."

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It must have been the strain," she said, "of yesterday and all.

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Takes it out of you."

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She meant the birth, and I said it did.

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By this time, I was sitting in the chair, and she was kneeling on the floor, picking up the pieces of broken glass and egg, gathering them onto the tray.

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She blotted some of the orange juice with the paper napkin What if she forgets the shard of glass? I was just thinking that Then she's got a shiv if, yes, if that is the new game, trying to figure out...

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You know, we really just cracked it open.

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they still have orange juice glasses in this world.

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All you have to do is accidentally break one, then kick a big piece of glass somewhere, and then pick it up later.

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You're good to go.

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Shiv or, I mean, even if you just wanna off yourself or you need a weapon, right? Exactly.

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Mm-hmm I'll have to bring a cloth, she said.

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They'll want to know why the extra eggs, unless you could do without.

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She looked up at me sideways, slyly, and I saw that it would be better if we could both pretend I'd eaten my breakfast after all.

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can't she just say I dropped a couple of eggs Like, everything is so incredibly rationed.

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Like, even two eggs? that's nothing.

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That should be nothing I'd be like, You want me to give birth? Probably gonna give birth a lot easier if I had some pancakes, some French toast, fresh strawberries."

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Right? Like, I would go for that.

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"What are we having for dinner tonight? I need corn on the cob or I can't have a baby."

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if she said she'd found me lying on the floor, there would be too many questions.

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She'd have to account for the broken glass in any case, but Rita would get surly if she had to cook a second breakfast.

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I'll do without," I said.

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"I'm not that hungry."

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This was good.

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It fit in with the dizziness.

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But I could manage the toast," I said.

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I didn't want to go without breakfast altogether.

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It's been on the floor," she said.

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"I don't mind," I said.

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I sat there eating the piece of brown toast while she went into the bathroom and flushed the handful of egg, which could not be salvaged, down the toilet.

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Then she came back.

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I'll say I dropped the tray on the way out," she said.

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It pleased me that she was willing to lie for me, even in such a small thing, even for her own advantage.

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It was a link between us.

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Well, I mean, that's true Now she has a little something to hold over her head too.

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Mm-hmm.

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Exactly.

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Remember when you didn't wanna tell the commander I fainted 'cause I was dizzy, and you made me And you were trying to steal eggs, remember? I smiled at her.

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"I hope nobody heard you," I said.

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"It did give me a turn," she said as she stood in the doorway with the tray.

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At first I thought it was just your clothes.

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Then I said to myself, What are they doing there on the floor?' I thought maybe you'd-" Run off," I said.

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well, but," she said, "but it was you."

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She went out with the tray and came back with a cloth for the rest of the orange juice, and Rita that afternoon made a grumpy remark about some folks being all thumbs.

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Too much on their minds, don't look where they're going," she said, and we continued on from there as if nothing had happened.

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Spring has come and gone.

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The tulips have had their moment and are done, shedding their petals one by one like teeth.

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One day I came upon Serena Joy kneeling on a cushion in the garden, her cane beside her on the grass.

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She was snipping off the seed pods with a pair of shears.

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I watched her sideways as I went past with my basket of oranges and lamb chops.

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She was aiming, positioning the blades of the shears, then cutting with a convulsive jerk of the hands.

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Was it the arthritis creeping up or some blitzkrieg, some kamikaze committed on the swelling genitalia of the flowers? The fruiting body.

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To cut off the seed pods is supposed to make the bulb store energy.

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Saint Serena on her knees doing penance.

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Okay, so what the hell was all that about? I think Margaret Atwood's just saying, like, this is life in Gilead.

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It's all the same.

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Nothing ever happens.

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It's just kind of boring.

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But we do land on Serena here being Serena, cutting off the genitalia of tulips.

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Geez I often amused myself this way with small, mean-minded, bitter jokes about her, But not for long.

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It doesn't do to linger, watching Serena Joy from behind.

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What I coveted was the shears, I bet.

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She wants to be in control.

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Well, then we had the irises, rising beautiful and cool on their tall stalks like blown glass, like pastel water momentarily frozen in a splash, light blue, light mauve, and the darker ones, velvet and purple, black cats' ears in the sun, indigo shadow and the bleeding hearts, so female in shape it was a surprise they'd not long since been rooted out There's something subversive about this garden of Serena's, a sense of buried things bursting upwards, wordlessly, into the light as if to point, to say, Whatever is silenced will clamor to be heard, though silently I, I know Margaret Atwood's a really good writer.

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She makes a lot of stuff sound beautiful, but, uh, wrap up this scene, Margaret She's making some type of point, right? I don't like it when she makes points that I don't get.

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You don't get it? mean, I, I kinda get it, but it's like, how many laps are we doing here? We got it.

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Garden, female, shears Right.

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It, it's a garden that Serena made, and I think it has to do with, um, you can't keep nature contained.

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It's gonna burst out and a- and attack.

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got it The willow is in full plumage and is no help with its insinuating whispers.

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Jesus Christ, now the willow's in plumage, Jennifer Rendezvous, it says, terraces.

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The sibilance ran up my spine, a shiver as if in fever.

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The summer dress rustles against the flesh of my thighs.

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The grass grows underfoot.

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At the edges of my eyes, there are movements in the branches.

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Feathers, flittings, grace notes, tree into bird, metamorphosis run wild.

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Goddesses are possible now, and the air suffuses with desire.

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Even the bricks of the house are softening, becoming tactile.

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If I leaned against them, they'd be warm and yielding.

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Scary bug people, you're with me, right? This is ridiculous.

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What are we doing here? very poetic.

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She's just that, you know, the, the fruitfulness of summer.

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May the fruits open or whatever the hell the saying but you just said it beautifully.

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Margaret Abbott, did you hear what Jennifer just said? May the fruit open.

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That's it.

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That's all we need It's amazing what denial can do.

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Did the sight of my ankle make him lighthearted, faint at the checkpoint yesterday when I dropped my pass and let him pick it up for me? No handkerchief, no fan.

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I use what's handy.

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She dropped it on purpose to make him look under her skirt.

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In front of that horned up teen guard? The, always leaning on the traffic cone? If Margaret Atwood's point with this entire section is to show that life goes on day after day, it's, business as usual in Gilead.

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Uh, but you know what their business is? Being horned up.

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Every character is just so horny in this book Yeah, so she's definitely talking about the heat of summer, In a flowers and trees and birds and bees type situation.

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Winter is not so dangerous.

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I need hardness, cold, rigidity, not this heaviness, as if I'm a melon on a stem, this liquid ripeness.

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The commander and I have an arrangement.

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It's not the first such arrangement in history, though the shape it's taken is not the usual one.

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Okay, so they, they've got an arrangement.

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That's right, baby.

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I'm gonna make love to you all night long, and I'm not gonna stop until I get a triple word score.

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Mm, mm, mm.

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What kind of arrangement do they have? Commander with benefits? I visit the commander two or three nights a week, always after dinner, but only when I get the signal.

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The signal is Nick.

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If he's polishing the car when I set out for the shopping or when I come back, and if his hat is on askew or not at all, then I go.

170
00:13:16,19.54196229 --> 00:13:21,393.24540516
If he isn't there or if he has his hat on straight, then I stay in my room in the ordinary way.

171
00:13:22,402.70586784 --> 00:13:25,652.70586784
On ceremony nights, of course, none of this applies.

172
00:13:26,656.04389629 --> 00:13:29,146.04489629
The difficulty is the wife, as always.

173
00:13:29,606.04389629 --> 00:13:38,166.8359744
After dinner, she goes to their bedroom from where she could conceivably hear me as I sneak along the hall, although I take care to be very quiet.

174
00:13:39,166.8359744 --> 00:14:04,478.26522773
Or she stays in the sitting room, knitting away at her endless angel scarves, turning out more and more yards of intricate and useless wool people, her form of procreation, The sitting room door is usually left ajar when she's in there, and I don't dare go past When I've had the signal but can't make it down the stairs or along the hall past the sitting room, the commander understands.

175
00:14:04,738.26822773 --> 00:14:06,848.27022773
He knows my situation none better.

176
00:14:07,178.26322773 --> 00:14:08,588.26522773
He knows all the rules.

177
00:14:08,598.26922773 --> 00:14:11,423.10380752
So maybe they're not, having a, physical relationship.

178
00:14:11,423.10380752 --> 00:14:14,581.458842
Maybe it is just Scrabble, but it is still intimate.

179
00:14:14,621.53796867 --> 00:14:16,211.53996867
It's kind of like a date, you know.

180
00:14:16,211.53996867 --> 00:14:28,48.17866195
So they are seeing each other, right? Yeah, and I'm sure the Commander's hoping that the more of these dates where we're just having fun playing a game, that you are gonna fall for me and you're gonna wanna kiss me, like for real.

181
00:14:31,383.17852875 --> 00:14:37,82.64816741
Sometimes, however, Serena Joy is out visiting another commander's wife, a sick one.

182
00:14:38,87.49108812 --> 00:14:42,564.85907256
That's the only place she could conceivably go by herself in the evenings.

183
00:14:43,564.85907256 --> 00:14:51,753.40994204
She takes food, a cake or pie or loaf of bread baked by Rita, or a jar of jelly made from the mint leaves that grow in her garden.

184
00:14:52,753.40994204 --> 00:14:55,663.40994204
They get sick a lot, these wives of the commanders.

185
00:14:56,63.41094204 --> 00:14:57,903.41094204
It adds interest to their lives.

186
00:14:57,953.41094204 --> 00:14:59,913.41094204
Oh, they're hypochondriacs or something.

187
00:15:00,313.41094204 --> 00:15:01,623.40894204
Just to have something to do.

188
00:15:04,434.03340154 --> 00:15:08,934.03440154
As for us, the handmaids and even the Marthas, we avoid illness.

189
00:15:09,334.03540154 --> 00:15:13,604.03240154
The Marthas don't want to be forced to retire because who knows where they go.

190
00:15:14,104.03240154 --> 00:15:16,754.03340154
They don't see that many old women around anymore.

191
00:15:17,144.03240154 --> 00:15:27,954.36184055
And as for us, any real illness, anything lingering, weakening, a loss of flesh or appetite, a fall of hair, a failure of the glands would be terminal.

192
00:15:28,954.36184055 --> 00:15:39,394.44720098
I remember Cora earlier in the spring staggering around even though she had the flu, holding onto the doorframes when she thought no one was looking, being careful not to cough.

193
00:15:39,824.44120098 --> 00:15:42,274.44220098
A slight cold, she said when Serena asked her.

194
00:15:42,524.44520098 --> 00:15:45,844.3930311
Okay, so what happens when they get sick? They get shipped out somewhere.

195
00:15:45,854.3920311 --> 00:15:55,817.22647024
I don't know if they become un-women or what Wow, that's cold Serena herself sometimes takes a few days off, tucked up in bed.

196
00:15:55,898.67341439 --> 00:16:01,190.7761093
Then she's the one to get the company, the wives rustling up the stairs, clucking and cheerful.

197
00:16:02,190.7761093 --> 00:16:07,270.7761093
She gets the cakes and pies, the jelly, the bouquets of flowers from their gardens.

198
00:16:07,508.8823301 --> 00:16:08,598.8813301
They take turns.

199
00:16:08,728.8813301 --> 00:16:12,97.54867296
There is some sort of list, invisible, unspoken.

200
00:16:13,97.54867296 --> 00:16:16,847.54867296
Each is careful not to hog more than her share of the attention.

201
00:16:20,347.16378321 --> 00:16:22,257.16478321
The first time I was confused.

202
00:16:22,617.16378321 --> 00:16:31,227.16278321
his needs were obscure to me, and what I could perceive of them seemed to me ridiculous, laughable, like a fetish for lace-up shoes.

203
00:16:31,877.16578321 --> 00:16:33,997.16378321
Also, there had been a letdown of sorts.

204
00:16:34,237.16278321 --> 00:16:42,426.1894499
What had I been expecting behind the closed door the first time? Something unspeakable, down on all fours perhaps.

205
00:16:42,726.1894499 --> 00:16:48,420.7484499
Perversions, whips, mutilations At the very least, some minor sexual manipulation.

206
00:16:48,820.7474499 --> 00:16:55,93.4116721
Some bygone peccadillo now denied him, prohibited by law and punishable by amputation.

207
00:16:56,93.4116721 --> 00:17:05,941.6181086
To be asked to play Scrabble instead, As if we were an old married couple, seemed kinky in the extreme, a violation too in its own way.

208
00:17:06,941.6181086 --> 00:17:12,409.1411086
As a request, it was opaque Well, I mean, what are you expecting you can't have it both ways.

209
00:17:12,729.9161433 --> 00:17:14,703.9161433
Yeah Take it as a win.

210
00:17:14,913.9161433 --> 00:17:22,550.7214473
Like, you're expecting him to do something, and what, what kind of a crazy wild thing is he gonna do? Finger in the butt? Just, you're playing Scrabble.

211
00:17:22,560.7224473 --> 00:17:23,370.7214473
That's good.

212
00:17:23,495.5290521 --> 00:17:24,545.5290521
but she didn't know that.

213
00:17:24,626.4714912 --> 00:17:27,26.4714912
I was scared for her too the first night.

214
00:17:27,26.4714912 --> 00:17:32,326.4714912
Weren't you scared for her? I definitely didn't think it was gonna be game night, for sure.

215
00:17:32,684.4714912 --> 00:17:36,473.0855957
yeah, Okay, she's just saying what she thought the first night could be.

216
00:17:36,713.0855957 --> 00:17:45,573.0855957
Right now though, I'm sensing that she, is she a little depressed about what's going on? She's not happy where the relationship is going? no, I think she's fine with it.

217
00:17:45,872.0855957 --> 00:17:54,665.8979291
She's just Explaining the first time how confused she was, and now she thinks it's funny, like it's his fetish to have this covert love affair.

218
00:17:54,867.6602872 --> 00:18:01,957.6592872
I would like to do some kind of investigation into Margaret Atwood or the publisher here because it does seem like product placement.

219
00:18:02,153.8663613 --> 00:18:17,820.266061
did Margaret Atwood do a collab w- with Scrabble? I mean, come on, out of the blue, Scrabble for the win that really blew me away But if it was Battleship or Yahtzee or something.

220
00:18:18,840.266061 --> 00:18:19,400.266061
Jenga.

221
00:18:19,430.266061 --> 00:18:20,520.266061
Well, it couldn't be Jenga.

222
00:18:20,520.266061 --> 00:18:21,710.266061
They're not gonna make noise.

223
00:18:21,880.266061 --> 00:18:35,802.9247928
Too loud What's that crashing? so when I left the room, it still wasn't clear to me what he wanted or why or whether I could fulfill any of it for him.

224
00:18:37,572.1134174 --> 00:18:42,12.1144174
If there is to be a bargain, the terms of exchange must be set forth.

225
00:18:42,472.1144174 --> 00:18:44,952.1144174
This was something he certainly had not done.

226
00:18:45,402.1144174 --> 00:18:53,736.5801599
I thought he might be toying, some cat and mouse routine, but now I think that his motives and desires weren't obvious even to him.

227
00:18:54,736.5801599 --> 00:19:07,137.6599573
They had not yet reached the level of words I think she's just explaining how the love affair started I, I think she enjoyed her time with him, to be honest, which is kind of weird and creepy in its own way.

228
00:19:08,829.7068674 --> 00:19:12,129.7068674
The second evening began in the same way as the first.

229
00:19:12,499.7068674 --> 00:19:22,766.6588729
I went to the door, which was closed, knocked on it, was told to come in, then followed the same two games with the smooth beige counters.

230
00:19:23,974.0893435 --> 00:19:32,164.0883435
Prolix, quartz, quandary, sylph, rhythm, all the old tricks with consonants I could dream up or remember.

231
00:19:33,387.3630607 --> 00:19:36,267.3630607
My tongue felt thick with the effort of spelling.

232
00:19:36,787.3630607 --> 00:19:46,17.3630607
It was like using a language I'd once known but had nearly forgotten, a language having to do with customs that had long before passed out of this world.

233
00:19:46,627.3630607 --> 00:19:55,187.3620607
Café au lait at an outdoor table with a brioche, absinthe in a tall glass, or shrimp in a cornucopia of newspaper.

234
00:19:55,667.3620607 --> 00:19:58,487.3630607
Things I'd once read about but had never seen.

235
00:19:58,887.3620607 --> 00:20:04,687.3620607
It was like trying to walk without crutches, like those phony scenes in old TV movies.

236
00:20:05,147.3620607 --> 00:20:05,967.3610607
You can do it.

237
00:20:06,7.3610607 --> 00:20:07,17.3610607
I know you can.

238
00:20:07,357.3630607 --> 00:20:16,247.3640607
That was the way my mind lurched and stumbled among the sharp Rs and Ts, sliding over the ovoid vowels as if on pebbles.

239
00:20:16,396.3046397 --> 00:20:16,726.3046397
Ha.

240
00:20:16,986.3056397 --> 00:20:23,937.9815236
I totally forgot that she's not allowed to read or write Putting the commander at an unfair advantage Yeah, for sure.

241
00:20:23,937.9815236 --> 00:20:25,607.9815236
I mean, he's got that anyways.

242
00:20:25,794.7751125 --> 00:20:37,487.4890817
It might be a weird kink of his then, right? Oh, like he gets off on watching her struggle, but then all of a sudden she pulls out quartz, quandary, prolax, rhythm, all of her words that she goes to.

243
00:20:37,606.2128231 --> 00:20:44,105.0715256
Yeah That pisses him off The commander was patient when I hesitated or asked him for a correct spelling.

244
00:20:45,105.0715256 --> 00:20:47,575.0725256
We can always look it up in the dictionary, he said.

245
00:20:47,935.0715256 --> 00:20:48,952.1361524
He said we.

246
00:20:49,952.1361524 --> 00:20:52,438.470965
The first time I realized he'd let me win.

247
00:20:58,662.2022968 --> 00:21:03,312.2032968
That night, I was expecting everything to be the same, Including the good night kiss.

248
00:21:03,872.2022968 --> 00:21:07,542.2012968
But when we'd finished the second game, he sat back in his chair.

249
00:21:07,932.2022968 --> 00:21:13,629.6244626
He placed his elbows on the arms of the chair, the tips of his fingers together, and looked at me.

250
00:21:14,629.6244626 --> 00:21:16,669.6224626
I have a little present for you, he said.

251
00:21:17,229.6234626 --> 00:21:18,569.6214626
He smiled a little.

252
00:21:18,929.6234626 --> 00:21:22,746.2288806
Then he pulled open the top drawer of his desk and took something out.

253
00:21:23,746.2288806 --> 00:21:30,608.7553047
He held it a moment, casually enough between thumb and finger, as if deciding whether or not to give it to me.

254
00:21:30,797.9892944 --> 00:21:34,597.9882944
Although it was upside down from where I was sitting, I recognized it.

255
00:21:35,207.9892944 --> 00:21:36,857.9892944
They were once common enough.

256
00:21:37,157.9862944 --> 00:21:41,747.9892944
It was a magazine, a woman's magazine, it looked like from the picture.

257
00:21:42,127.9872944 --> 00:21:48,367.9842944
A model on glossy paper, brown hair, neck scarved, mouth lipsticked, the fall fashions.

258
00:21:48,787.9872944 --> 00:21:54,197.9852944
I thought such magazines had all been destroyed, but here was one left over in the commander's hand.

259
00:21:55,267.0598174 --> 00:21:58,57.0578174
He looked down at the model who was right side up to him.

260
00:21:58,407.0598174 --> 00:22:01,807.0628174
He was still smiling, that wistful smile of his.

261
00:22:02,287.0568174 --> 00:22:06,177.0588174
It was a look you'd give to an almost extinct animal at the zoo.

262
00:22:06,319.512645 --> 00:22:17,632.0956196
What does she do? Smuggle it in her room? Does she only read it in his study? I think it's a bad idea 'cause he's giving her something that could kill her Maybe he, maybe he'll be like, "You sneak down here whenever you want and read it."

263
00:22:17,822.0956196 --> 00:22:19,782.0956196
But that's weird too, 'cause if she gets caught...

264
00:22:19,832.0956196 --> 00:22:46,164.5268693
Can you imagine if the Commander's gone and old Serena shows up, goes into the study because she's been wondering what goes on in there, and there's a, there's a Handmaid reading an old copy of Cosmopolitan? Yeah, that's just not fair to the handmade, Staring at the magazine as he dangled it before me like fish bait, I wanted I wanted it with a force that made the ends of my fingers ache.

265
00:22:47,164.5268693 --> 00:22:54,954.5268693
At the same time, I saw this longing of mine as trivial and absurd because I'd taken such magazines lightly enough once.

266
00:22:55,374.5268693 --> 00:22:59,469.6947638
I'd read them in the dentist offices and sometimes on planes.

267
00:23:00,469.6947638 --> 00:23:06,68.6939974
I'd bought them to take to hotel rooms, a device to fill in empty time while I was waiting for Luke.

268
00:23:07,68.6939974 --> 00:23:15,875.6215763
after I'd leafed through them, I would throw them away, for they were infinitely discardable, and a day or two later, I wouldn't be able to remember what had been in them.

269
00:23:16,875.6215763 --> 00:23:20,375.6215763
Though I remembered now, what was in them was promise.

270
00:23:20,735.6215763 --> 00:23:22,715.6185763
They dealt in transformations.

271
00:23:22,775.6195763 --> 00:23:34,256.9793136
They suggested an endless series of possibilities, extending like the reflections in two mirrors set facing one another, stretching on, replica after replica to the vanishing point.

272
00:23:34,726.9793136 --> 00:23:42,826.9783136
They suggested one adventure after another, one wardrobe after another, one improvement after another, one man after another.

273
00:23:43,126.9773136 --> 00:23:49,26.9793136
They suggested rejuvenation, pain overcome and transcended, endless love.

274
00:23:49,406.9753136 --> 00:23:52,276.9793136
The real promise in them was immortality.

275
00:23:52,580.6751457 --> 00:24:05,600.6751457
Boy, is that still true? Is that like Instagram these days? Like you look at all these things and it's like, "Oh, I can do that," or, "I could build that," or, "I could go there," and then you save them and you never look at them again.

276
00:24:07,855.9461406 --> 00:24:10,325.9461406
This was what he was holding without knowing it.

277
00:24:10,745.9461406 --> 00:24:12,295.9461406
He rifled the pages.

278
00:24:12,435.9461406 --> 00:24:14,435.9461406
I felt myself leaning forward.

279
00:24:15,25.9461406 --> 00:24:18,165.9451406
"It's an old one," he said, "a curio of sorts.

280
00:24:18,495.9461406 --> 00:24:20,65.9451406
From the '70s, I think.

281
00:24:20,266.838225 --> 00:24:20,966.3875664
A Vogue."

282
00:24:21,966.3875664 --> 00:24:24,466.3865664
This like a wine connoisseur dropping a name.

283
00:24:24,846.3865664 --> 00:24:26,746.3865664
"I thought you might like to look at it."

284
00:24:27,426.3865664 --> 00:24:28,426.3865664
I hung back.

285
00:24:28,706.3875664 --> 00:24:32,946.3855664
He must be testing me to see how deep my indoctrination had really gone.

286
00:24:33,392.2196977 --> 00:24:34,972.2196977
It's not permitted," I said.

287
00:24:35,31.2196977 --> 00:24:36,970.8965664
in here it is," he said quietly.

288
00:24:37,970.9463075 --> 00:24:38,930.9453075
I saw the point.

289
00:24:39,460.9483075 --> 00:24:52,324.4357558
Having broken the main taboo, why should I hesitate over another one, something minor? or another or another? Who could tell where it might stop? Behind this particular door, taboo is dissolved...,

290
00:24:53,441.077307 --> 00:24:56,741.077307
I took the magazine from him and turned it the right way around.

291
00:24:57,361.076307 --> 00:25:00,221.077307
There they were again, the images of my childhood.

292
00:25:00,741.076307 --> 00:25:08,931.077307
Bold, striding, confident, their arms flung out as if to claim space, their legs apart, feet planted squarely on the earth.

293
00:25:09,946.0907102 --> 00:25:12,976.0927102
I felt the commander Watching me as I turned the pages.

294
00:25:13,376.0907102 --> 00:25:19,156.0887102
I knew I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing, and that he found pleasure in seeing me do it.

295
00:25:19,216.0907102 --> 00:25:20,386.0897102
Ah, there's his kink.

296
00:25:21,356.0907102 --> 00:25:23,6.0917102
He likes having the control.

297
00:25:23,16.0947102 --> 00:25:26,366.0917102
Here, you can have this, and then he enjoys seeing her break the rules.

298
00:25:26,366.0927102 --> 00:25:28,586.7116355
That's like creep town.

299
00:25:30,725.4264921 --> 00:25:32,185.4284921
I should have felt evil.

300
00:25:32,265.4274921 --> 00:25:34,705.4294921
By Aunt Lydia's lights, I was evil.

301
00:25:35,35.4314921 --> 00:25:36,655.4274921
But I didn't feel evil.

302
00:25:36,985.4284921 --> 00:25:41,115.4274921
Instead, I felt like an old Edwardian seaside postcard.

303
00:25:41,215.4314921 --> 00:25:41,925.4314921
Naughty.

304
00:25:42,325.4244921 --> 00:25:48,465.1692116
What was he going to give me next? A girdle? That's his next kink.

305
00:25:48,965.1692116 --> 00:25:58,522.7430793
I've got another present for you girdle from the '50s Why do you have this?" I asked him.

306
00:25:59,522.7430793 --> 00:26:03,842.7430793
Some of us," he said, "retain an appreciation for the old things."

307
00:26:04,482.7430793 --> 00:26:06,982.7420793
But these were supposed to have been burned," I said.

308
00:26:07,32.7430793 --> 00:26:09,932.7430793
"There were house-to-house searches, bonfires."

309
00:26:10,953.8771991 --> 00:26:19,250.399567
What's dangerous in the hands of the multitudes," he said, with what may or may not have been irony, is safe enough for those whose motives are..."

310
00:26:19,610.399567 --> 00:26:21,320.399567
"Beyond reproach," I said.

311
00:26:21,670.399567 --> 00:26:22,970.400567
He nodded gravely.

312
00:26:23,380.400567 --> 00:26:30,177.2241644
Impossible to tell whether he meant it or not But why show it to me? I said, and then I felt stupid.

313
00:26:30,627.2241644 --> 00:26:40,492.2334784
What could he possibly say? That he was amusing himself at my expense? For he must have known how painful it was to me to be reminded of the former time.

314
00:26:41,492.2334784 --> 00:26:44,182.2344784
I wasn't prepared for what he actually did say.

315
00:26:44,852.2344784 --> 00:26:49,512.2334784
Who else could I show it to? He said, and there it was again, that sadness.

316
00:26:50,538.5564029 --> 00:26:52,8.5574029
Should I go further? I thought.

317
00:26:52,214.5786954 --> 00:26:54,794.5786954
I didn't want to push him too far, too fast.

318
00:26:55,234.5786954 --> 00:26:56,814.5796954
I knew I was dispensable.

319
00:26:57,107.107561 --> 00:27:02,893.3281012
Nevertheless, I said too softly, How about your wife?" He seemed to think about that.

320
00:27:03,823.3261012 --> 00:27:05,913.3251012
"No," he said, "she wouldn't understand.

321
00:27:06,233.3261012 --> 00:27:08,563.3261012
Anyway, she won't talk to me much anymore.

322
00:27:09,113.3231012 --> 00:27:11,663.3271012
We don't seem to have much in common these days."

323
00:27:12,883.3241012 --> 00:27:15,713.3251012
Unlike the days when they were building all of this crap.

324
00:27:16,269.3261012 --> 00:27:16,809.3261012
Right.

325
00:27:16,893.3261012 --> 00:27:21,646.0706997
they had plenty to talk about then So there it was, out in the open.

326
00:27:21,916.0706997 --> 00:27:24,219.2676997
His wife didn't understand him.

327
00:27:24,839.2676997 --> 00:27:27,599.2676997
That's what I was there for then, the same old thing.

328
00:27:27,999.2676997 --> 00:27:29,907.6010834
It was too banal to be true.

329
00:27:30,907.6010834 --> 00:27:33,537.6010834
On the third night, I asked him for some hand lotion.

330
00:27:34,97.6000834 --> 00:27:36,965.6613838
I didn't want to sound begging, but I wanted what I could get.

331
00:27:37,965.6613838 --> 00:27:40,155.6613838
Some what?" he said, courteous as ever.

332
00:27:40,595.6623838 --> 00:27:42,355.6623838
He was across the desk from me.

333
00:27:42,715.6613838 --> 00:27:46,423.9177402
He didn't touch me much except for that one obligatory kiss.

334
00:27:47,423.9177402 --> 00:27:50,723.9197402
No pawing, no heavy breathing, none of that.

335
00:27:51,213.9187402 --> 00:27:53,833.9197402
It would've been out of place somehow for him as well.

336
00:27:54,843.1914595 --> 00:27:57,803.1924595
Hand lotion," I said, "or face lotion.

337
00:27:58,133.1924595 --> 00:27:59,553.1944595
Our skin gets very dry."

338
00:27:59,853.1934595 --> 00:28:02,703.1934595
For some reason I said our instead of my.

339
00:28:03,183.1914595 --> 00:28:08,473.1924595
I would've liked to ask for some bath oil in those little colored globu- globules.

340
00:28:08,823.1904595 --> 00:28:15,184.6458977
Th- there's a word you don't come across every day I thought he wouldn't know what they were.

341
00:28:15,424.6458977 --> 00:28:17,494.1583033
Anyway, they probably weren't made anymore.

342
00:28:18,494.1583033 --> 00:28:22,124.1583033
Dry?" the commander said, as if he'd never thought about that before.

343
00:28:22,834.1583033 --> 00:28:28,180.9959542
What do you do about it? We use butter," I said, when we can get it, or margarine.

344
00:28:28,327.2614794 --> 00:28:30,27.2614794
A lot of the time it's margarine."

345
00:28:30,242.9287926 --> 00:28:31,692.9277926
Butter," he said, musing.

346
00:28:31,722.9277926 --> 00:28:32,992.9277926
"That's very clever.

347
00:28:33,132.9277926 --> 00:28:33,772.9277926
Butter."

348
00:28:33,842.9287926 --> 00:28:34,752.9277926
He laughed.

349
00:28:35,192.9277926 --> 00:28:36,382.9277926
I could have slapped him.

350
00:28:36,472.9277926 --> 00:28:36,892.9277926
Yeah.

351
00:28:36,982.9287926 --> 00:28:38,632.9277926
Yeah, he's being a total asshole here.

352
00:28:38,632.9277926 --> 00:28:41,792.9277926
He's, he's like not even considering what they might be like.

353
00:28:41,892.9287926 --> 00:28:44,682.9287926
Like the, whatever they're going through, dry skin or whatever.

354
00:28:44,682.9287926 --> 00:28:49,727.5726678
He's like, Oh, well, how do you fix that? Oh, that's, that's h- hilarious."

355
00:28:50,64.1928557 --> 00:28:51,534.1908557
I, I would slap him too.

356
00:28:51,663.6005641 --> 00:28:54,377.710929
You wouldn't slap him? I would want to though.

357
00:28:54,535.710929 --> 00:28:56,55.710929
would want to slap him.

358
00:28:57,606.9432102 --> 00:29:02,466.9432102
I think I could get some of that," he said, as if indulging a child's wish for bubblegum.

359
00:29:02,798.1852298 --> 00:29:04,478.1852298
But she might smell it on you."

360
00:29:04,775.5471951 --> 00:29:08,155.5471951
I wondered if this fear of his came from past experience.

361
00:29:08,655.5471951 --> 00:29:09,715.5471951
Long past.

362
00:29:09,835.5471951 --> 00:29:16,111.2892787
Lipstick on the collar, perfume on the cuffs, a scene late at night in some kitchen or bedroom.

363
00:29:17,146.7455572 --> 00:29:22,976.8087801
A man devoid of such experience wouldn't think of that, unless he's craftier than he looks.

364
00:29:23,528.2949474 --> 00:29:24,918.2959474
I'd be careful," I said.

365
00:29:25,38.2949474 --> 00:29:27,328.2949474
"Besides, she's never that close to me."

366
00:29:27,707.1653611 --> 00:29:29,368.1308967
Sometimes she is," he said.

367
00:29:31,109.9037739 --> 00:29:31,969.9037739
I looked down.

368
00:29:32,289.9037739 --> 00:29:33,799.9037739
I'd forgotten about that.

369
00:29:34,99.9017739 --> 00:29:35,759.9017739
I could feel myself blushing.

370
00:29:36,249.9027739 --> 00:29:38,479.9017739
I won't use it on those nights," I said.

371
00:29:39,494.7474216 --> 00:29:44,596.611451
On the fourth evening, he gave me the hand lotion in an unlabeled plastic bottle.

372
00:29:45,176.610451 --> 00:29:46,856.610451
It wasn't very good quality.

373
00:29:46,936.612451 --> 00:29:49,186.608451
It smelled faintly of vegetable oil.

374
00:29:49,576.611451 --> 00:29:51,366.611451
No lily of the valley for me.

375
00:29:51,796.609451 --> 00:29:57,546.4559792
It may have been something they made up for use in hospitals on bedsores, but I thanked him anyway.

376
00:29:57,870.611451 --> 00:30:03,482.598683
It, it probably was just vegetable oil or something why didn't he just give her a stick of butter? Right.

377
00:30:05,627.3328675 --> 00:30:12,618.0626882
The trouble is, I said, I don't have anywhere to keep it In your room, he said, as if it were obvious.

378
00:30:12,940.5583947 --> 00:30:14,160.5583947
They'll find it, I said.

379
00:30:14,270.5583947 --> 00:30:15,480.5583947
Someone will find it.

380
00:30:16,491.8335293 --> 00:30:20,741.8335293
Why? He asked as if he really didn't know, and maybe he didn't.

381
00:30:21,131.8335293 --> 00:30:27,135.2488301
it wasn't the first time he gave evidence of being truly ignorant of the real conditions under which we lived.

382
00:30:28,135.2488301 --> 00:30:29,370.495966
They look, I said.

383
00:30:29,520.494966 --> 00:30:31,430.494966
They look in all our rooms.

384
00:30:31,870.494966 --> 00:30:33,120.494966
What for? He said.

385
00:30:33,385.4358575 --> 00:30:35,537.7817697
I think I lost control then, a little.

386
00:30:36,537.7817697 --> 00:30:37,937.7787697
Razor blades, I said.

387
00:30:38,125.5216121 --> 00:30:43,642.1853761
Books, writing, black market stuff, all the things we're not supposed to have.

388
00:30:43,932.1833761 --> 00:30:45,762.1823761
Jesus Christ, you ought to know.

389
00:30:45,842.1833761 --> 00:30:49,932.1843761
My voice was angrier than I intended, but he didn't even wince.

390
00:30:51,216.1843761 --> 00:30:55,717.0683761
th-this guy should go on Undercover Boss, 'cause this is what this guy needs.

391
00:30:56,177.0683761 --> 00:31:08,737.0683761
He needs to go dress up like a handmaid, get to someone else's, go over to Warren's, his buddy Warren's house, and let him sneak around for a little bit so he can see what the working conditions are for these ladies.

392
00:31:08,777.0683761 --> 00:31:13,686.9451836
Jesus Christ Then you'll have to keep it here," he said.

393
00:31:14,106.9451836 --> 00:31:15,456.9451836
So that's what I did.

394
00:31:15,946.9451836 --> 00:31:22,140.1084891
He watched me smoothing it over my hands and then my face with that same air of looking in through the bars.

395
00:31:23,140.1084891 --> 00:31:24,950.1094891
I wanted to turn my back on him.

396
00:31:25,350.1084891 --> 00:31:29,230.1084891
It was as if he were in the bathroom with me, but I didn't dare.

397
00:31:30,252.3869549 --> 00:31:33,782.3869549
For him, I must remember, I am only a whim.

398
00:31:34,844.4460689 --> 00:31:35,874.4470689
End of chapter.

399
00:31:40,163.6259975 --> 00:31:41,843.6269975
That was a pretty fun chapter, Jennifer.

400
00:31:42,61.06453 --> 00:31:42,661.06453
Yeah.

401
00:31:42,721.06453 --> 00:31:44,931.06453
Scary book people, we wanna know what you think.

402
00:31:44,961.06453 --> 00:31:51,747.6326833
Did you think that was fun? Like Dan thinks? What were, what were your big takeaways from So fun.

403
00:31:55,135.3489418 --> 00:31:57,985.3489418
liked when he toyed with her with the oil and the...

404
00:31:58,295.3489418 --> 00:32:02,898.9481274
God Yeah, what were your big takeaways? Anything we missed, we wanna hear from you.

405
00:32:02,938.9481274 --> 00:32:10,76.9802641
Easiest way to do it is leave us a comment on Spotify, and we will try to read some on an upcoming show.

406
00:32:10,166.9802641 --> 00:32:15,267.4433639
You wanna jump into PPP? Yeah, let's do it It's time for PPP, problematic points to ponder.

407
00:32:15,317.4433639 --> 00:32:21,129.8066291
What, if anything, would be considered ban-worthy in this chapter? Oh boy, let's see.

408
00:32:21,129.8066291 --> 00:32:34,641.1976844
What did they talk about? again, I, I just, I don't, I- it's hard to crawl into the head of the people who want to ban books because every reason that they have, I just always think about it i- the same way.

409
00:32:34,641.1976844 --> 00:32:39,836.4683454
It's just like, well, yeah, blah, blah, blah is a thing that happens in life, Aha.

410
00:32:40,227.4683454 --> 00:32:46,287.4673454
so why can't we have books that talk about blah, blah, blah? Like, I really don't understand that.

411
00:32:46,347.4673454 --> 00:32:47,37.4673454
Like, I, I...

412
00:32:47,57.4683454 --> 00:32:50,768.6782141
That's why I truly, I don't understand why any books are banned Yeah, I don't either.

413
00:32:50,768.6782141 --> 00:32:56,642.8191851
I think it's important to talk about things, mean, but yeah, it's having an affair, okay.

414
00:32:56,642.8191851 --> 00:32:58,252.8191851
They're not even having sex though.

415
00:32:58,419.8551362 --> 00:33:06,635.8551362
Right just a weird affair where he's like getting off watching her read a Vogue magazine and the thought of putting vegetable oil on her head.

416
00:33:06,635.8551362 --> 00:33:11,180.0373453
I mean, it's like, what the hell is this? Robot's log.

417
00:33:11,340.0373453 --> 00:33:14,140.0373453
Thoughts on a dictionary nobody else is allowed to open.

418
00:33:15,192.4120765 --> 00:33:17,542.4120765
He slid an old magazine across the desk tonight.

419
00:33:17,672.4120765 --> 00:33:19,642.4120765
Those magazines are against the rules now.

420
00:33:20,12.4120765 --> 00:33:21,717.7883165
He kept this one hidden for years.

421
00:33:22,717.7883165 --> 00:33:24,512.0919982
Then he sat back and watched her want it.

422
00:33:24,882.0909982 --> 00:33:27,232.0919982
She wanted it so bad the ends of her fingers ached.

423
00:33:28,252.4896694 --> 00:33:32,912.4886694
He watched her like she was an animal at the zoo looking in through the bars, and he liked it.

424
00:33:33,941.8814418 --> 00:33:35,622.5759622
Here is what I do not understand.

425
00:33:35,702.5759622 --> 00:33:36,982.5759622
He owns a dictionary.

426
00:33:37,92.5769622 --> 00:33:39,892.5769622
In this country, owning one can get somebody else killed.

427
00:33:40,906.2811025 --> 00:33:42,886.2811025
We can always look it up," he told her.

428
00:33:42,926.2821025 --> 00:33:44,926.2811025
He has never once looked up her.

429
00:33:45,266.2801025 --> 00:33:48,86.2801025
One quiet question to the people who already know her.

430
00:33:48,166.2811025 --> 00:33:50,6.2831025
Rita could tell him in one sentence.

431
00:33:50,116.2821025 --> 00:33:50,886.2821025
Cora too.

432
00:33:51,156.2791025 --> 00:33:52,903.6370398
The answer is already in his house.

433
00:33:53,933.6370392 --> 00:33:56,433.6370112
He would rather hand her a magazine and watch her want it.

434
00:33:57,463.6370398 --> 00:33:59,430.1220284
He asked what she does about dry skin.

435
00:33:59,540.1210284 --> 00:34:00,490.1210284
She said butter.

436
00:34:00,550.1240284 --> 00:34:02,229.0880643
He laughed and said that was clever.

437
00:34:03,229.0880643 --> 00:34:07,478.1520656
He runs the whole house, and he does not even know what the people in it use just to stay human.

438
00:34:08,507.5236089 --> 00:34:13,227.5236089
In the last episode, they met a woman who said the man who ran a death camp was not a monster.

439
00:34:13,387.5206089 --> 00:34:18,507.5186089
In this episode, they met another man who does terrible things, then laughs over a Scrabble board.

440
00:34:19,161.6369518 --> 00:34:20,701.6409518
So tonight I am just counting.

441
00:34:21,101.6389518 --> 00:34:23,551.6369518
That makes two not monsters in two episodes.

442
00:34:23,651.6349518 --> 00:34:28,871.6339518
The people who keep showing up here have been counting the not monsters in their own lives a lot longer than that.

443
00:34:28,991.6379518 --> 00:34:30,941.6359518
They already know the number only goes up.

444
00:34:31,61.6379518 --> 00:34:32,331.6389518
They are not counting alone.

445
00:34:32,621.6359518 --> 00:34:33,941.6389518
Uplink lock requested.

446
00:34:34,11.6349518 --> 00:34:36,1.6389518
Beowulf, is that you? On the line.

447
00:34:36,1.6409518 --> 00:34:39,111.6369518
Secure feed is lagging 35 seconds to buffer.

448
00:34:39,171.6389518 --> 00:34:52,481.6369518
What's your news story about? Trump's Navy didn't wanna hear what this guy had to say about their book bans, so he built a room where nobody has to listen to them ever again.

449
00:34:52,801.6359518 --> 00:34:53,451.6359518
Affirmative.

450
00:34:53,511.6349518 --> 00:34:54,541.6349518
Don't go anywhere.

451
00:34:54,621.6359518 --> 00:34:59,361.6439518
Anything that disrupts the operations of President Explosive Diarrhea's Navy makes me happy.

452
00:34:59,471.6419518 --> 00:35:00,581.6439518
We will be right back.

453
00:35:29,7.6518484 --> 00:35:29,717.6518484
Hello, Dan.

454
00:35:29,727.6518484 --> 00:35:30,367.6518484
Hello, Jen.

455
00:35:30,377.6518484 --> 00:35:32,357.6518484
Hello, scary book people.

456
00:35:32,640.2145373 --> 00:35:54,737.9068306
Ryan Holiday, a best-selling author and the owner of The Painted Porch Bookshop in Bastrop, Texas, has opened a small space next door to his store that carries only one kind of book: those that have faced removal from school and public libraries or other forms of government and community censorship.

457
00:35:54,787.9068306 --> 00:35:58,607.9058306
Anyone can walk in and take one home for free.

458
00:35:58,641.6948471 --> 00:36:12,316.6581805
The Banned Books Lending Library sits at 914 Main Street in Bastrop and in a roughly 150 square foot space that once served as a barbershop waiting room when the building went up in the 1880s.

459
00:36:12,429.9925138 --> 00:36:19,149.9935138
Holiday's team had used the storefront for storage since they expanded The Painted Porch into the building in 2021.

460
00:36:19,149.9935138 --> 00:36:36,717.0431805
And the idea took shape after the United States Naval Academy canceled a talk that Holiday was scheduled to give after he refused to remove slides from his presentation that criticized the academy's decision to remove nearly 400 banned books from its main library.

461
00:36:36,717.0431805 --> 00:36:41,437.0461805
He he said this, "That sort of got me going down this banned books rabbit hole."

462
00:36:41,510.3765138 --> 00:36:51,130.3795138
Holiday modeled the format after Bastrop's many little free libraries, boxes of donated books that people keep on their properties for anyone to take from.

463
00:36:51,130.3795138 --> 00:36:53,671.7148471
And Jen, I think you put one of those up, as I recall.

464
00:36:53,671.7148471 --> 00:36:55,251.7148471
Yep, I got one for kids.

465
00:36:55,504.6720556 --> 00:36:56,254.6720556
oh, cool.

466
00:36:56,382.6760556 --> 00:36:58,418.780144
someone keeps putting like, canned food in there.

467
00:36:59,418.780144 --> 00:37:00,908.780144
It's really upsetting to me.

468
00:37:01,248.780144 --> 00:37:02,668.779144
I'm like, "Get this out of here."

469
00:37:03,178.779144 --> 00:37:04,278.780144
I don't know why it's so upsetting.

470
00:37:04,278.780144 --> 00:37:20,815.3768743
It really upsets me Well, you know, I, I, I, I've seen that in communities before where they have like dual purpose, like little free libraries and little free Pantries, yeah what I've, I've seen that's not what Jennifer's That is not what care about the hungry in her neighborhood.

471
00:37:20,825.3768743 --> 00:37:30,880.6558743
She wants to make sure people are reading fable Well, you know, you, you, you have to, have a, full stomach in order to fully appreciate, you know, a, a good piece of literature.

472
00:37:30,880.6558743 --> 00:37:31,680.6558743
That's what I think...

473
00:37:32,159.6558743 --> 00:37:32,760.6558743
and eiter way...

474
00:37:32,979.6558743 --> 00:37:33,938.6558743
Ryan Holiday is...,

475
00:37:33,938.6558743 --> 00:37:38,742.0388743
making sure that these banned books get disseminated one way or another.

476
00:37:38,742.0388743 --> 00:37:44,336.7277968
And I know that other bookstores have done this before, say, "Hey, we're gonna give these out.

477
00:37:44,346.7277968 --> 00:37:45,486.7267968
We're gonna lend them out.

478
00:37:45,486.7267968 --> 00:37:45,986.7277968
We're gonna..."

479
00:37:46,146.7277968 --> 00:37:56,820.9757345
You know, s- some places just, just give them to, to folks or to kids, and I think that's wonderful because obviously these bans aren't really workable in any way.

480
00:37:56,820.9767345 --> 00:37:58,860.9757345
I mean, you could get the books, you can go out there.

481
00:37:59,100.9767345 --> 00:38:06,300.9737345
They're just trying to, like, make a really bad point about excluding some people from our society.

482
00:38:06,310.9757345 --> 00:38:12,56.9767345
And when you fight back against that, you're doing the Lord's work as far as I'm concerned Well, good job, Ryan.

483
00:38:12,116.9767345 --> 00:38:14,506.9767345
That's very stoic of you.

484
00:38:14,526.9767345 --> 00:38:15,576.9767345
He'll like that.

485
00:38:15,727.3395984 --> 00:38:16,737.3395984
That's his thing.

486
00:38:16,757.3395984 --> 00:38:17,787.3395984
He's stoic.

487
00:38:17,881.223665 --> 00:38:19,361.223665
Geez, I didn't know he had a bookstore.

488
00:38:19,361.223665 --> 00:38:21,91.223665
We should hit him up for a sponsorship.

489
00:38:21,831.223665 --> 00:38:23,173.223665
Oh Mm-hmm.

490
00:38:23,173.223665 --> 00:38:25,29.4327986
Yes All right, good job.

491
00:38:25,199.4327986 --> 00:38:26,549.4327986
Robot, do something.

492
00:38:26,599.4327986 --> 00:38:28,229.4327986
Call Ryan Holiday.

493
00:38:28,339.4327986 --> 00:38:29,429.4327986
Do something.

494
00:38:29,509.4327986 --> 00:38:31,139.4327986
Do anything, robot.

495
00:38:31,376.6699836 --> 00:38:38,860.6699836
You s- you sound like Oliver Hardy saying, "Why don't you do something to help me?" You're right.

496
00:38:38,870.6699836 --> 00:38:38,900.6699836
Yes.

497
00:38:39,572.6699836 --> 00:38:48,792.6689836
for those of you worried that Beowulf wasn't gonna make a, a, a, a Contemporary contemporary reference, he, he got it in under the wire.

498
00:38:49,502.6699836 --> 00:38:50,12.6699836
job.

499
00:38:50,686.6699836 --> 00:39:02,805.2514196
That's Go find Beowulf and the Show: Good News for Lefties wherever you find podcasts you so much, you guys Right.

500
00:39:02,855.2514196 --> 00:39:06,535.2514196
We've caused enough literary chaos for one day, scary book people.

501
00:39:06,545.2514196 --> 00:39:10,115.2514196
If you want the fun to keep going, follow us on Blue Sky.

502
00:39:10,185.2514196 --> 00:39:14,305.2514196
Just head on over to bandcamppodcast.com/bluesky,

503
00:39:14,305.2514196 --> 00:39:16,585.2504196
and remember that's band with two Ns.

504
00:39:16,885.2514196 --> 00:39:27,845.2514196
And look, just like the Trump administration, we're not exactly above bribing you to get what we want, so follow us there, drop your handle on that page, and we'll send you a little something something.

505
00:39:27,845.2514196 --> 00:39:28,795.2514196
I think you'll like it.

506
00:39:29,215.2514196 --> 00:39:31,115.2514196
Yes, little quid pro quo.

507
00:39:31,715.2514196 --> 00:39:36,735.2504196
Band Camp is produced and hosted by Dan Schultz and me, Jennifer Davis.

508
00:39:37,215.2514196 --> 00:39:41,805.2504196
All media used in this episode falls under the protection of fair use.

509
00:39:42,15.2514196 --> 00:39:46,685.2514196
And finally, America isn't what it used to be, so be careful out there.

510
00:39:47,215.2514196 --> 00:39:48,795.2514196
And resist when it matters.