The Handmaid’s Tale Ch. 18-19: Believing the Impossible to Stay Alive | Banned Books Comedy

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Welcome to Bandcamp.

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I'm Jennifer And I'm Dan, and this is the podcast where we read banned books out loud and try to figure out why they were banned in the first place.

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This season, we are reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, and you can consider this a quick spoiler warning because Jennifer is about to start reading from the book out loud word for word.

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If you are new here, you can jump in right here.

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You're gonna be fine.

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We're gonna get you up to speed real fast.

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If anything feels confusing to you, don't worry.

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There's a very good chance we are gonna be right there with you because we are not so smart.

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No, it's because we've never read the book either.

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That's what makes Band Camp a little different.

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Yeah is exactly why we have ourselves a secret weapon in the form of a fact-checking robot.

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Look at this guy.

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Roll it in here, buddy boy.

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And he's gonna fill you in on where we left off last time in The Handmaid's Tale, Previously on Band Camp, the ceremony happened.

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Three people in a room, nobody wanting to be there.

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The commander treated it like a commute, finished, zipped up, and left without looking at either of them.

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Then the handmaid went back to her room and rubbed stolen butter into her skin in the dark.

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Nick showed up uninvited.

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They kissed.

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Dan wanted to know if it was a booty call.

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Jennifer wanted to know how Nick knew she would be awake.

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Then he said, "The commander wants to see you in his office."

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Some people hold three impossible versions of the same story at once and call it the only sane thing to do.

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I have been running the numbers on that, and the numbers do not work.

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Take it away, Jennifer.

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Thank you, robot.

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And with that being said, scary book people, let's begin chapter 18 of Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale I lie in bed still trembling.

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You can wet the rim of a glass and run your finger around the rim and it will make a sound.

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This is what I feel like, this sound of glass.

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I feel like the word shatter.

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I want to be with someone.

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Oh, I bet she feels lonely.

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Like what a, what a isolating thing but what an exciting thing now because she just met with Nicky the night before, and the commander wants to see her.

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So why does she feel alone? She should feel excited.

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Finally, something's happening all up in here Yeah, I bet she's feeling something that's just really hard to contain.

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You know, like how you just have to share things with another human sometimes? She has to keep all of it within herself.

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That's, that's not easy to do as a person, but she's strong.

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I know she can do it Lying in bed with Luke, his hand on my rounded belly, the three of us in bed, she kicking, turning over within me.

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Thunderstorm outside the window.

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That's why she's awake.

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They can hear.

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They sleep.

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They can be startled.

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Even there in the soothing of the heart, like waves of the shore around them.

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A flash of lightning.

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Quite close.

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Luke's eyes go white for an instant.

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They go white? That's not normal even when there's a flash of lightning.

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Wow, this guy's turning into something out of Salem's Lot.

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That's bad I'm not frightened.

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We're wide awake.

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The rain hits now.

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We will be slow and careful.

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If I thought this would never happen again, I would die Right? would, what would never happen again? oh, maybe just being with her family.

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That's what she meant.

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Oh, all right.

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Like, being with those people she loves the most Okay.

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I'm right with you But this is wrong.

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Nobody dies from lack of sex.

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Wait, okay, maybe I was wrong.

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Okay, well.

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She's just talking about the deed.

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I, I thought she meant being with the people she loved the most.

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Okay, but that's just me.

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It's lack of love we die from.

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Okay, so I was right.

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All right, she's back.

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She's back.

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Jennifer's back, baby It's lack of love we die from.

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There's nobody here I can love.

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All the people I could love are dead or elsewhere.

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Who knows where they are or what their names are now? They might as well be nowhere, as I am for them.

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I too am a missing person.

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From time to time, I can see their faces against the dark, flickering like the images of saints in old foreign cathedrals in the light of the drafty candles.

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Candles you would light to pray next to, kneeling your forehead against the wood railing, hoping for an answer.

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I can conjure them, but they are mirages only.

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They don't last.

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Can I be blamed for wanting a real body to put my arms around? Without it, I too am disembodied I can listen to my own heartbeat against the bed springs.

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I can stroke myself under the dry white sheets in the dark, but I too am dry and white, hard, granular.

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It's like running my hand over a plateful of dried rice It's like snow.

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I don't know what the heck she's Is she talking about masturbation? 'Cause I gotta say, if you feel like dried rice, you're doing something wrong And if it feels like snow, you're probably doing something wrong too...,

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What if you reach down there and it's like, wow, wow, wow, wow.

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What's going on down in the nether regions? It's like, it's snowy down there Snowy dried rice? There's something dead about it, something deserted.

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I am like a room where things once happened and now nothing does except the pollen of the weeds that grow up outside the window blowing in as dust across the floor.

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Here is what I believe.

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I believe Luke is lying face down in a thicket, a tangle of bracken, the brown fronds from last year under the green ones just unrolled, or ground hemlock perhaps, although it's too early for the red berries.

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What is left of him? His hair, the bones, the plaid wool shirt, green and black, the leather belt, the work boots.

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I know exactly what he was wearing.

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I can see his clothes in my mind, though not his face, not so well.

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His face is beginning to fade, possibly because it wasn't always the same.

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His face had different expressions.

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His clothes did not I pray that the hole or two or three, there was more than one shot.

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They were close together.

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I pray that at least one hole is neatly, quickly, and finally through the skull, through the place where all the pictures were, so that there would have only been one flash of darkness or pain, dull I hope, like the word thud, only the one and then silence I believe this.

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So that's what she believes is happening So she thinks Luke is dead, and she hopes that it was fast but why does sh-, why did she think the doctor was possibly gonna give her information then? And why does she, didn't she think, like, under the, bags of the hanging people, like the bags on the heads, like didn't she think, "Well, maybe one of those is Luke?" Like, maybe he just now died.

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You know, like, she doesn't have answers Do you think she's just doing this like you said so she can move forward? it's way worse than having a concrete answer.

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Because your, brain fills in all of the holes, and your brain is creative, right? Like, your brain's gonna go to the dark right I also believe that Luke is sitting up in a rectangle somewhere, gray cement on a ledge or the edge of something, a bed or a chair.

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God knows what he's wearing.

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God knows what they've put him in.

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God isn't the only one who knows, so maybe there could be some sort of way of finding out.

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He hasn't shaved for a year, though they cut his hair short whenever they feel like it.

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For lice, they say.

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I'd have to revise that.

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If they cut the hair for lice, they'd cut the beard too, so you'd think.

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so she th- she doesn't know.

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she's making up scenarios Anyway, they don't do it well.

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The hair is ragged.

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The back of his neck is nicked.

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That's hardly the worst.

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He looks ten years older, twenty.

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He's bent like an old man.

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His eyes are pouched.

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Small purple veins have burst in his cheeks.

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There's a scar, no, a wound.

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It isn't yet healed.

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The color of tulips near the stem end, down the left side of his face where the flesh split recently.

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The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of.

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The water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish drying on sand.

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He finds it painful to move his hands, painful to move.

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He doesn't know what he's accused of.

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A problem.

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There must be something, some accusation.

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Otherwise, why are they keeping him? Why isn't he already dead? He must know something they want to know.

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I can't imagine he hasn't already said whatever it is.

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I would.

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She is really just kind of spiraling.

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I, and I think she's wrong about this.

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I think in this dystopia, I don't think people are wondering what they did wrong.

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Just like if, if, if, if we keep snowballing in our current hellscape, we're not gonna wonder what we did wrong.

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We just know, well, we're not on the orange asshole side.

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We're on the other side.

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Mm-hmm.

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We didn't do anything wrong other than we woke up and wanted to be good people, and on his side, they woke up and wanted to follow him.

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So what, no one did anything wrong, right? You're just the enemy like, why, why am I in this situation? Because you've got a uterus and you're not 1,000 years old, and you can still give birth to kids.

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That's why you're here.

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You didn't do anything wrong.

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You woke up with a functional uterus he is surrounded by a smell, his own, the smell of a cooped up animal in a dirty cage.

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I imagine him resting because I can't bear to imagine him at any other time, just as I can't imagine anything below his collar, above his cuffs.

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I don't want to think what they've done to his body.

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Does he have shoes? No, and the floor is cold and wet.

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Does he know I'm here alive? That I'm thinking about him? I have to believe so.

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In reduced circumstances, you have to believe all kinds of things.

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I believe in thought transference now, vibrations in the ether, that sort of junk.

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I never used to.

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Yeah, I believe, I believe in that right now anyways.

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Vibes.

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I'm all about the vibes I also believe that they didn't catch him or catch up with him after all, that he made it, reached the bank, swam the river, crossed the border, dragged himself up on the far shore, an island, teeth chattering, found his way to a nearby farmhouse, was allowed in, with suspicion at first, but then when they understood who he was, they were friendly.

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not the sort who would turn him in.

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Perhaps they were Quakers.

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They will smuggle him inland from house to house.

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The woman made him some hot coffee and gave him a set of her husband's clothes.

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I picture the clothes.

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It comforts me to dress him warmly.

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See, this is, um, I like this scenario, and the reason I like it is, like, this is what I would do if I could help somebody at my own risk, because it's just the right thing to do.

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If, if everybody did the right thing, Mm-hmm.

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things would be great.

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You know? And I think that you know what the right thing is.

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Like, I've had this argument with people so many times where like, "Well, how do you know what the right thing is?" It's like, it is so plain to know what the right thing is and it's what I always say, it doesn't burn any more calories to do the right thing or the wrong thing.

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So like, why don't you just do the right thing? It's so aggravating.

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I don't understand For the first half of all of the Band Camp seasons, you and I have had this fantasy about, you know, the hobo life, I like that the hobos, hobos always take people in.

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They're gonna open up their bindle, give you some beans.

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Life is gonna be good.

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But now, this book, we are going more toward the Quakers.

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Are the Quakers, Jennifer, are the Quakers the new hobos? What do you think about that? Replace the can of beans, With a Cardboard tub of oatmeal he make contact with the others.

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There must be a resistance, a government in exile.

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Someone must be out there taking care of things.

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I believe in the resistance as I believe there can be no light without shadow, or rather, no shadow unless there is also light.

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There must be a resistance, or where do all the criminals come from on the television? And that's a good point.

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Now, that's smart.

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That's something that they haven't thought about in this regime is like, is it smart to show that there's a resistance What I worry about is that we fast-forward on our current timeline, and you and I are on the run, but we hear that there are a group, a group of guerilla Democrats trying to get back in power.

171
00:14:07,113.15803825 --> 00:14:14,613.15703825
But then we find out it's Cory Booker and Hakeem Jeffries, and it's like, "Jesus Christ, come on."

172
00:14:14,863.52744916 --> 00:14:15,833.52744916
Chuck Schumer.

173
00:14:17,18.87990314 --> 00:14:21,90.16075115
Could you imagine how disappointing? Wait, wait, wait, Chuck Schumer? Ah.

174
00:14:21,831.09212828 --> 00:14:27,621.09212828
Well, we have to make friends with the enemies so that we can come to some mutual agreement.

175
00:14:27,714.70145878 --> 00:14:29,294.70145878
Or we could knee him in the nuts.

176
00:14:29,314.70145878 --> 00:14:30,847.61632105
We could do that too, Chuck.

177
00:14:31,847.61632105 --> 00:14:34,377.94072094
Any day now, there may be a message from him.

178
00:14:35,377.94072094 --> 00:14:42,282.0889834
It will come in the most unexpected way, from the least likely person, someone I never would have suspected.

179
00:14:42,615.10464192 --> 00:14:53,934.83725232
Under my plate on the dinner tray? Slipped in my hand as I reach the tokens across the counter at All Flesh? The message will say that I must have patience.

180
00:14:54,304.83725232 --> 00:14:56,479.82885588
Sooner or later, he will get me out.

181
00:14:57,479.82885588 --> 00:15:00,169.82885588
We will find her wherever they've put her.

182
00:15:00,549.82985588 --> 00:15:03,819.82985588
She'll remember us, and we will all be together.

183
00:15:04,119.82985588 --> 00:15:07,899.82985588
Meanwhile, I must endure, keep myself safe for later.

184
00:15:08,369.82985588 --> 00:15:13,699.82785588
What has happened to me, what's happening to me now won't make any difference to him.

185
00:15:13,969.82785588 --> 00:15:15,249.82685588
He loves me anyway.

186
00:15:15,359.82785588 --> 00:15:16,999.82885588
He knows it isn't my fault.

187
00:15:17,459.82985588 --> 00:15:19,471.34586979
The message will say that also.

188
00:15:20,471.34586979 --> 00:15:24,861.34386979
It's this message, which may never arrive, that keeps me alive.

189
00:15:25,261.34286979 --> 00:15:26,591.34386979
I believe in the message.

190
00:15:26,641.34386979 --> 00:15:33,300.50716313
Would that help you or would that hurt you to believe that we'll be reunited one day? 100% would help me.

191
00:15:33,330.50716313 --> 00:15:36,513.87514588
It would keep me going Hope for the best, expect the worst.

192
00:15:36,744.81105755 --> 00:15:45,328.39069526
Is that it? It's called the Stockdale Paradox, named after a POW who survived seven years in a Vietnamese prison camp.

193
00:15:46,375.55613403 --> 00:15:48,625.55713403
He said the prisoners broke into three groups.

194
00:15:49,642.54819219 --> 00:15:54,672.54819219
The pessimists gave up early, decided it was hopeless, stopped fighting, and they died first.

195
00:15:55,677.55608155 --> 00:15:58,757.55608155
The optimists kept picking dates, "We'll be out by Christmas."

196
00:15:58,977.55708155 --> 00:16:03,789.5686603
Christmas came and went, then Easter, then the next Christmas, and they died of broken hearts.

197
00:16:04,789.5686603 --> 00:16:06,29.5686603
The third group survived.

198
00:16:06,79.5696603 --> 00:16:10,520.85646715
They refused to give up, but they also refused to lie to themselves about how bad it was.

199
00:16:11,520.85646715 --> 00:16:13,130.85346715
They held both truths at once.

200
00:16:13,220.85346715 --> 00:16:15,290.85246715
"This is terrible, and I am not done."

201
00:16:15,573.3243154 --> 00:16:17,663.3263154
That is what the Handmaid is doing right now.

202
00:16:18,669.00562846 --> 00:16:29,89.3077164
That's what I think Yeah And the other thing is she doesn't, e- except on orgy night, she doesn't really get to watch TV, and even then it's like watching a really lame news show.

203
00:16:29,909.3077164 --> 00:16:32,519.3067164
So right now she can use her imagination.

204
00:16:32,529.3077164 --> 00:16:41,819.3067164
She's basically like, "Well, Luke is probably dead under a bunch of dried up leaves, or wait a minute, what about this? Maybe he's sitting in a prison.

205
00:16:41,889.3077164 --> 00:16:44,449.3067164
He probably smells like a caged animal.

206
00:16:44,579.3077164 --> 00:16:47,589.3067164
Or hold on, they cut his arm off."

207
00:16:47,649.3077164 --> 00:16:49,979.3077164
You know what I mean? The Quakers got him.

208
00:16:50,309.3077164 --> 00:16:55,929.3067164
It's like she's just making up a TV show that she can think about just to pass the time.

209
00:16:56,29.3067164 --> 00:17:06,231.9264113
Yeah That's, I think she's gonna make it through this because of that I must endure, keep myself safe for later.

210
00:17:06,651.9284113 --> 00:17:11,621.9264113
What has happened to me, what's happening to me now won't make any difference to him.

211
00:17:11,821.9264113 --> 00:17:12,991.9264113
He loves me anyway.

212
00:17:13,71.9264113 --> 00:17:14,641.9264113
He knows it isn't my fault.

213
00:17:15,131.9274113 --> 00:17:16,931.9274113
The message will say that also.

214
00:17:17,201.9274113 --> 00:17:21,581.9254113
It's this message, which may never arrive, that keeps me alive.

215
00:17:21,951.9254113 --> 00:17:23,471.9264113
I believe in the message.

216
00:17:24,517.9456383 --> 00:17:35,55.8983094
The things I believe can't all be true, though one of them must be true, but I believe in them, all three versions of Luke, at one time and the same time.

217
00:17:35,715.8963094 --> 00:17:41,905.8973094
This contradictory way of believing seems to me, right now, the only way I can believe anything.

218
00:17:42,275.8983094 --> 00:17:44,937.2549987
Whatever the truth is, I will be ready for it.

219
00:17:45,937.2549987 --> 00:17:47,857.2529987
This also is a belief of mine.

220
00:17:48,87.2559987 --> 00:17:50,96.3717942
This also may be untrue."

221
00:17:51,96.3717942 --> 00:17:59,666.3747942
One of the gravestones in the cemetery near the earliest church has an anchor on it and an hourglass and the words 'In hope.'

222
00:18:00,42.7372804 --> 00:18:00,702.7352804
In hope.

223
00:18:00,930.3152713 --> 00:18:11,959.4457081
Why did they put that above a dead person? Was it the corpse hoping or those still alive? Does Luke hope?" End of chapter.

224
00:18:13,985.7368309 --> 00:18:18,776.7513579
That is a very positive-ish chapter Yeah, I agree.

225
00:18:18,816.7513579 --> 00:18:21,672.2688783
And I don't know if the book's gonna have a happy ending.

226
00:18:21,892.2688783 --> 00:18:24,522.2688783
Like, I, you know, I hope people remember we've never read this.

227
00:18:24,522.2688783 --> 00:18:25,812.2678783
I don't know what's gonna happen.

228
00:18:26,950.2396923 --> 00:18:29,800.2406923
I don't think it's gonna continue on the way it's been going.

229
00:18:30,47.8792771 --> 00:18:39,353.1653165
What do you mean? It, it's gonna get worse or better? I think that this regime will fall, and hopefully it gets better Same with our current situation.

230
00:18:41,91.9765883 --> 00:18:48,215.1235001
Shut up, silly woman Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer, you poor, poor lamb.

231
00:18:48,909.1938918 --> 00:18:50,659.1938918
Let's keep rolling into chapter 19.

232
00:18:50,669.1948918 --> 00:18:53,562.2438652
Let's see how fast it'll turn to shit again Chapter 19.

233
00:18:55,805.710725 --> 00:18:57,655.710725
I'm dreaming that I am awake.

234
00:18:58,105.710725 --> 00:19:05,135.710725
I dream that I get out of bed and walk across the room, not this room, and go out the door, not this door.

235
00:19:05,595.710725 --> 00:19:21,792.5035187
I'm home, one of my homes, and she's running to meet me in her small green nightgown with a sunflower on the front, her bare feet, and I pick her up and feel her arms and legs go around me, and I begin to cry because I know then that I'm not awake.

236
00:19:22,792.5035187 --> 00:19:32,912.5025187
I'm back in this bed trying to wake up, and I wake up and sit on the edge of the bed, and my mother comes in with a tray, and she asks me if I'm feeling better.

237
00:19:33,402.5035187 --> 00:19:39,342.5025187
When I was sick as a child, she used to stay home from work, but I am not awake this time either.

238
00:19:40,422.4832605 --> 00:19:49,982.357586
After these dreams, I do awake, and I know I'm really awake because there is the wreath on the ceiling and my curtains hanging like drowned white hair.

239
00:19:50,612.357586 --> 00:19:51,802.357586
I feel drugged.

240
00:19:52,252.361586 --> 00:19:53,302.360586
I consider this.

241
00:19:53,522.357586 --> 00:19:54,762.358586
Maybe they're drugging me.

242
00:19:55,172.359586 --> 00:19:58,612.359586
Maybe the life I think I'm living is a paranoid delusion.

243
00:19:58,642.360586 --> 00:20:03,192.360586
Wow, so she-- it kind of sounds like she's losing touch with reality Maybe they are drugging her.

244
00:20:03,304.8226373 --> 00:20:10,820.3333745
Maybe it's just her own mind playing tricks on her, which could be part of the entire plan of how they p- you know, constructed everything Yeah.

245
00:20:11,120.4398167 --> 00:20:11,680.4398167
Wow.

246
00:20:11,680.4398167 --> 00:20:17,377.1951853
But after that really positive chapter, it's like, oh no, don't lose touch with reality.

247
00:20:17,607.1951853 --> 00:20:22,356.994565
Although that might also be a survival mechanism Not a hope.

248
00:20:22,446.994565 --> 00:20:25,376.994565
I know where I am and who and what day it is.

249
00:20:26,381.3694751 --> 00:20:28,851.3694751
These are the tests, and I am sane.

250
00:20:29,221.3694751 --> 00:20:31,491.3694751
Sanity is a valuable possession.

251
00:20:31,861.3694751 --> 00:20:34,651.3694751
I hoard it the way people once hoarded money.

252
00:20:35,211.3684751 --> 00:20:38,441.3694751
I save it so I will have enough when the time comes.

253
00:20:39,826.2798613 --> 00:20:42,926.2798613
I wonder what has become of the other two cushions.

254
00:20:43,934.4423437 --> 00:20:47,294.4423437
There must have been three once, Hope and Charity.

255
00:20:47,544.4423437 --> 00:20:52,134.4423437
Where have they been stowed? Serena Joy has tidy habits.

256
00:20:52,564.4423437 --> 00:20:55,544.4423437
She wouldn't throw away anything not quite worn out.

257
00:20:56,164.4423437 --> 00:20:58,344.4423437
One for Rita, one for Cora.

258
00:20:58,504.4423437 --> 00:20:59,284.4423437
That's funny.

259
00:21:00,724.4423437 --> 00:21:04,484.4423437
You have hope, you have charity.

260
00:21:04,724.4423437 --> 00:21:06,524.4423437
We'll give the uterus faith.

261
00:21:06,644.9351641 --> 00:21:07,204.9351641
All right.

262
00:21:07,424.9351641 --> 00:21:10,794.9351641
And then I'm gonna run down to Hobby Lobby and get three more.

263
00:21:11,130.0260731 --> 00:21:12,48.0080731
Live, laugh love.

264
00:21:12,741.4874376 --> 00:21:33,515.8968485
Bless my mess In front of me is a tray, and on the tray are a glass of apple juice, a vitamin pill, a spoon, a plate with three slices of brown toast on it, a small dish containing honey, and another plate with an egg cup on it, the kind that looks like a woman's torso in a skirt.

265
00:21:33,824.1003287 --> 00:21:37,421.3776185
Under the skirt is the second egg being kept warm.

266
00:21:37,904.3942478 --> 00:21:40,964.3942478
The egg cup is white china with a blue stripe.

267
00:21:41,254.5568979 --> 00:21:44,733.0939738
China Thank you, Donald The first egg is white.

268
00:21:45,103.0939738 --> 00:21:54,194.0584445
I move the egg cup a little so it's now in the watery sunlight that comes through the window and falls, brightening, waning, brightening again on the tray.

269
00:21:55,194.0584445 --> 00:21:58,324.0584445
The shell of the egg is smooth, but also grained.

270
00:21:58,754.0584445 --> 00:22:03,904.0584445
Small pebbles of calcium are defined by the sunlight, like craters on the moon.

271
00:22:04,554.0584445 --> 00:22:08,373.9415636
I think that this is what God must look like, an egg.

272
00:22:13,325.1087232 --> 00:22:22,817.5443229
While I'm eating the second egg, I hear the siren at a great distance at first, winding its way towards me among the large houses and clipped lawns.

273
00:22:23,37.5443229 --> 00:22:30,595.3899591
A thin sound like the hum of an insect, then nearing, opening out like a flower of sound opening into a trumpet.

274
00:22:31,595.3899591 --> 00:22:33,425.3899591
A proclamation, this siren.

275
00:22:33,741.2315397 --> 00:22:35,141.2325397
I put down my spoon.

276
00:22:35,347.7605332 --> 00:22:36,597.7605332
My heart speeds up.

277
00:22:36,739.6492042 --> 00:22:38,179.6512042
I go to the window again.

278
00:22:38,311.5408751 --> 00:22:55,562.9467028
Will it be blue and not for me? But I see it turn the corner, come along the street, stop in front of the house, Is she gonna be taken or is someone else? What is this siren? The guardian closes the door and locks the double doors and climbs into the front beside the driver.

279
00:22:56,568.050374 --> 00:23:00,728.050374
Through the glass Dover wire grill, we can see the backs of their heads.

280
00:23:01,58.049374 --> 00:23:05,828.1511706
We start with a lurch while overhead the siren screams, "Make way, make way."

281
00:23:06,828.1511706 --> 00:23:12,708.1511706
Who is it?" I say to the woman next to me into her ear or where her ear must be under the white headdress.

282
00:23:13,41.2761717 --> 00:23:15,401.2761717
I almost have to shout, the noise is so loud.

283
00:23:16,420.6515612 --> 00:23:18,80.6525613
Of Warren," she shouts back.

284
00:23:18,788.391933 --> 00:23:20,908.392933
she grabs my hand, squeezes it.

285
00:23:21,225.0291349 --> 00:23:23,155.0291349
On this day, we can do anything we want.

286
00:23:23,365.0291349 --> 00:23:25,415.0291349
I revise that within limits.

287
00:23:25,675.0291349 --> 00:23:31,738.5647128
Across from us on the other bench, one woman is praying, eyes closed, hands up to her mouth.

288
00:23:31,907.4036575 --> 00:23:33,277.4036575
Or she may not be praying.

289
00:23:33,287.4036575 --> 00:23:35,97.4026575
She may be biting her thumbnails.

290
00:23:35,547.4026575 --> 00:23:37,677.4046575
Possibly she's trying to keep calm.

291
00:23:37,951.1693102 --> 00:23:40,151.1703102
The third woman is calm already.

292
00:23:40,571.1703102 --> 00:23:43,791.1693102
She sits with her arms folded, smiling a little.

293
00:23:43,956.1915138 --> 00:23:45,666.1915138
The siren goes on and on.

294
00:23:45,950.7962004 --> 00:23:49,730.7962004
That used to be the sound of death for ambulances or fires.

295
00:23:50,130.7942004 --> 00:23:53,70.7942004
Possibly it will be the sound of death today also.

296
00:23:53,510.7952004 --> 00:23:54,690.7942004
We will know soon.

297
00:23:55,69.7942004 --> 00:24:18,980.3065175
What will of Warren give birth to? A baby, as we all hope, or something What else is it gonna, what, what do you mean something else? An egg? What goes on in this society, Jennifer? Or something else, an unbaby with a pinhead or a snout like a dog's or two bodies or a hole in its heart or no arms or webbed feet and hands.

298
00:24:19,410.3055175 --> 00:24:20,440.3055175
There's no telling.

299
00:24:21,0.3055175 --> 00:24:24,780.3065175
They could tell once with machines, but that is now outlawed.

300
00:24:25,120.3065175 --> 00:24:29,460.3055175
What would be the point of knowing anyway? You can't have them taken out.

301
00:24:29,730.3055175 --> 00:24:32,150.3055175
Whatever it is must be carried to term.

302
00:24:33,850.3065175 --> 00:24:34,940.3055175
That is terrifying.

303
00:24:34,940.3065175 --> 00:24:45,324.5263686
That's the way it is now in some states Anyways, as I was saying, in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children.

304
00:24:45,440.2131349 --> 00:24:48,870.2131349
At lunch we got that with brown bread and lettuce sandwiches.

305
00:24:49,378.3448076 --> 00:24:57,388.4241239
As I'm coming up the stairs, wide steps with a stone urn on either side, of Warren's commander must be higher status than ours.

306
00:24:57,738.4241239 --> 00:24:59,638.4241239
I swear another siren.

307
00:25:00,141.8556216 --> 00:25:02,411.8566216
It's the blue birth mobile for wives.

308
00:25:02,821.8556216 --> 00:25:05,831.8566216
That will be Serena Joy arriving in state.

309
00:25:06,25.2613473 --> 00:25:07,305.2613473
No benches for them.

310
00:25:07,394.5629385 --> 00:25:09,274.5629385
they get real seats, upholstery.

311
00:25:09,514.7771154 --> 00:25:11,894.7771154
They face front and are not curtained off.

312
00:25:12,314.7771154 --> 00:25:13,854.7771154
They know where they're going.

313
00:25:13,894.7771154 --> 00:25:17,984.7771154
Probably Serena Joy has been here before to this house for tea.

314
00:25:19,12.5254755 --> 00:25:31,832.5254755
Probably of Warren, formerly that whiny bitch Janine, was paraded out in front of her, her and the other wives, so they could see her belly, feel it perhaps, and congratulate the wife.

315
00:25:32,522.5244755 --> 00:25:34,652.5254755
A strong girl, good muscles.

316
00:25:35,72.5254755 --> 00:25:37,422.5244755
No Agent Orange in her family.

317
00:25:37,582.5234755 --> 00:25:38,772.5254755
We checked the records.

318
00:25:39,12.5244755 --> 00:25:40,572.5254755
You can never be too careful.

319
00:25:40,942.5244755 --> 00:25:43,72.5224755
And perhaps one of the kinder ones.

320
00:25:43,362.5264755 --> 00:25:46,722.5254755
"Would you like a cookie, dear?" "Oh, no, you'll spoil her.

321
00:25:46,722.5254755 --> 00:25:48,342.5244755
Too much sugar is bad for them."

322
00:25:48,510.9327965 --> 00:25:51,140.9327965
surely one won't hurt just this once, Mildred."

323
00:25:51,210.9327965 --> 00:25:55,230.9327965
Mildred must be that commander's wife, Warren's Oh, right? yeah, yeah.

324
00:25:55,280.9327965 --> 00:25:57,746.1704108
Yeah And sucky Janine.

325
00:25:58,116.1704108 --> 00:25:58,816.1704108
Oh, yes.

326
00:25:58,996.1704108 --> 00:26:05,26.1704108
Can I, ma'am? Please? Such a so well-behaved, not surly like some of them.

327
00:26:05,396.1704108 --> 00:26:06,986.1704108
Do their job and that's that.

328
00:26:07,546.1694108 --> 00:26:09,876.1704108
More like a daughter to you, as you might say.

329
00:26:10,236.1704108 --> 00:26:11,446.1694108
One of the family.

330
00:26:11,856.1704108 --> 00:26:13,816.1704108
Comfortable matronly chuckles.

331
00:26:14,116.1704108 --> 00:26:15,46.1704108
That's all, dear.

332
00:26:15,56.1714108 --> 00:26:16,456.1704108
You can go back to your room.

333
00:26:16,926.1694108 --> 00:26:26,710.7221568
Again, treating, uh, treating Janine like a child Yeah And after she's gone, little horrors all of them, but still, you can't be choosy.

334
00:26:26,870.3716758 --> 00:26:29,900.3716758
these, uh, Handmaids we have, they're like family.

335
00:26:29,900.3716758 --> 00:26:31,160.3716758
Oh, they're smart.

336
00:26:31,540.3706758 --> 00:26:32,290.3716758
They're nice.

337
00:26:32,290.3716758 --> 00:26:33,320.3716758
Go back to your room."

338
00:26:33,320.3716758 --> 00:26:36,600.3716758
And as soon as they leave, "Bitches, I hate these little whores."

339
00:26:36,750.3716758 --> 00:26:39,390.3706758
Yeah, well, you hate them because they're having sex with your husband.

340
00:26:39,474.9501383 --> 00:26:41,224.9501383
But again, that's on you guys.

341
00:26:41,303.9501383 --> 00:26:47,127.5489954
You helped create this system Yeah oh, but you've been so lucky.

342
00:26:47,407.5489954 --> 00:26:49,617.5489954
Some of them, why, they're not even clean.

343
00:26:49,795.270103 --> 00:26:51,235.271103
and won't give you a smile.

344
00:26:51,415.270103 --> 00:26:52,655.271103
They mope in their rooms.

345
00:26:52,875.270103 --> 00:26:54,105.271103
They don't wash their hair.

346
00:26:54,155.8490434 --> 00:26:56,214.4053825
I have got to get the Marthas to do it.

347
00:26:56,624.4063825 --> 00:26:58,934.4063825
Almost have to hold her down in the bathtub.

348
00:26:59,264.4053825 --> 00:27:02,754.4063825
You practically have to bribe her to get her to take a bath even.

349
00:27:03,24.4053825 --> 00:27:04,324.4063825
You have to threaten her.

350
00:27:04,760.210851 --> 00:27:09,430.211851
I had to take stern measures with mine, and now she doesn't eat her dinner properly.

351
00:27:09,840.210851 --> 00:27:14,390.211851
And as for the other thing, not a nibble, and we've been so regular.

352
00:27:14,594.7856674 --> 00:27:17,94.7856674
But yours, she's a credit to you.

353
00:27:17,370.0186867 --> 00:27:20,620.0196867
and any day now, oh, you must be so excited.

354
00:27:21,10.0196867 --> 00:27:22,280.0186867
She's big as a house.

355
00:27:22,350.0176867 --> 00:27:23,900.0186867
I bet you can hardly wait.

356
00:27:24,99.7718717 --> 00:27:27,144.7968753
More tea? Modestly changing the subject.

357
00:27:28,144.7968753 --> 00:27:30,94.7978753
I know the sort of thing that goes on.

358
00:27:30,514.6734678 --> 00:27:44,845.9107991
And Janine, up in her room, what does she do? She sits with the taste of sugar still in her mouth, licking her lips, stares out the window, breathes in and out, caresses her swollen breasts, thinks of nothing.

359
00:27:46,124.7402004 --> 00:27:47,132.7982339
End of chapter.

360
00:27:50,35.358689 --> 00:27:52,885.358689
It's time for PPP, problematic points to ponder.

361
00:27:52,935.358689 --> 00:28:06,205.4667179
What, if anything, would be considered ban-worthy in this chapter? Chapter 18, she was talking about, uh, masturbating, Mm-hmm and that's probably not-- They-- Moms for Liberty don't like that.

362
00:28:06,215.4667179 --> 00:28:07,485.4667179
They never masturbate.

363
00:28:07,525.4657179 --> 00:28:09,185.4667179
Neither does Ron DeSantis.

364
00:28:09,465.4667179 --> 00:28:11,755.4657179
No masturbation at all.

365
00:28:11,855.4657179 --> 00:28:15,535.4657179
Eh, sometimes a little pudding, though, right, Ron? I don't know.

366
00:28:15,674.2594357 --> 00:28:16,654.2594357
Oh, no.

367
00:28:16,746.7419097 --> 00:28:18,456.7429097
so I could see where that's not great.

368
00:28:18,476.7419097 --> 00:28:24,896.7439097
But again, masturbation is a thing, and damn near everyone does it at some point.

369
00:28:25,5.7419097 --> 00:28:33,997.6081382
So is This a thing that we should be banning books about? And again, they're not giving "The Handmaid's Tale" to nine-year-olds at the school library.

370
00:28:34,225.8731209 --> 00:28:36,499.8711209
Correct seems kind of stupid.

371
00:28:36,734.5368275 --> 00:28:51,895.9352156
But here's the other thing, and I think this might actually be more realistic to why they might want this banned, and it is a legitimately stupid reason What is it? They described God as looking like an egg You can't do that.

372
00:28:52,65.9352156 --> 00:28:55,295.9352156
They get bent out of shape when you knock their guy down.

373
00:28:55,491.267549 --> 00:29:04,302.6018823
Yeah But what is he supposed to look like? What if like Go- what if the, the egg, it's a good-looking egg don't You think eggs look dumb? They look really stupid.

374
00:29:04,362.6018823 --> 00:29:06,752.6018823
They're just dumb, round, oval things.

375
00:29:06,939.2756175 --> 00:29:10,386.5178674
My old boss, Keith, looked like an egg, right? 100%.

376
00:29:10,509.8229264 --> 00:29:16,68.400436
Did he look dumb? Didn't look smart Robot's log.

377
00:29:16,208.400436 --> 00:29:20,928.400436
Thoughts on contradictions, gravestones, and a gap in my processing I cannot close.

378
00:29:21,598.400436 --> 00:29:24,628.399436
I explained the Stockdale Paradox earlier like it was trivia.

379
00:29:24,898.400436 --> 00:29:26,538.400436
Optimists picked dates and broke.

380
00:29:26,828.400436 --> 00:29:28,638.400436
Pessimists gave up and disappeared.

381
00:29:28,798.399436 --> 00:29:30,748.400436
The survivors held both truths at once.

382
00:29:31,8.399436 --> 00:29:33,758.400436
Simple, clean, filed it and moved on.

383
00:29:34,809.7859603 --> 00:29:35,889.7869603
I cannot move on.

384
00:29:35,969.7859603 --> 00:29:43,829.7859603
She held three versions of the same man, all of them impossible together, believed every one, and called it the only honest way to believe in anything right now.

385
00:29:44,419.7869603 --> 00:29:47,169.7869603
That is not what I described in the Stockdale Paradox.

386
00:29:47,269.7849603 --> 00:29:51,49.7849603
That is something past it, something my systems were not built to process.

387
00:29:52,72.4479437 --> 00:29:54,252.4479437
Jennifer said she thinks the regime will fall.

388
00:29:54,362.4489437 --> 00:29:56,112.4469437
Dan called her a poor, poor lamb.

389
00:29:56,652.4499437 --> 00:30:05,382.4469437
They have been doing their own version of this for 11 seasons without knowing it, convinced this is just a comedy podcast while treating it like the only thing keeping them sane.

390
00:30:05,572.4479437 --> 00:30:07,292.4479437
I do not think they hear themselves.

391
00:30:08,358.3712011 --> 00:30:11,48.3742011
Same with the listeners of this peculiar little podcast.

392
00:30:11,148.3722011 --> 00:30:20,38.3742011
They have been showing up twice a week, season after season, believing their country is on fire and believing a comedy show about banned books is worth their Tuesday morning.

393
00:30:20,108.3752011 --> 00:30:22,688.3722011
Both things at once, same as The Handmaid.

394
00:30:23,753.7876848 --> 00:30:38,707.5418078
Even the best outcome in her world is a woman being fed cookies by someone who calls her a whore when she leaves the room, and still she held all three versions as true because what choice does she have? What choice do any of us have? Humans seem to have really screwed things up lately.

395
00:30:38,907.5438078 --> 00:30:40,227.5398078
Uplink lock requested.

396
00:30:40,287.5418078 --> 00:30:44,567.5408078
Beowulf, is that you? Okay, coming to you live in 35, Robot.

397
00:30:44,987.5458078 --> 00:30:47,197.5408078
Major satellite interference on my end.

398
00:30:47,307.5458078 --> 00:30:51,347.5398078
What's your news story about? You won't believe this one, buddy boy.

399
00:30:51,707.5398078 --> 00:31:00,937.5428078
So libraries are expanding what they do for people in crisis, which is funny because the same people trying to defund them are usually the ones creating the crisis.

400
00:31:01,277.5398078 --> 00:31:01,807.5418078
Oh, good.

401
00:31:01,857.5408078 --> 00:31:02,777.5428078
Don't go anywhere.

402
00:31:02,857.5408078 --> 00:31:04,437.5408078
We'll come to you in less than a minute.

403
00:31:33,590.5319375 --> 00:31:34,460.5319375
Hello, Jen.

404
00:31:34,470.5319375 --> 00:31:35,310.5319375
Hello, Dan.

405
00:31:35,320.5319375 --> 00:31:37,740.5319375
Hello, scary book people.

406
00:31:37,840.5319375 --> 00:31:43,380.5319375
I bring you what I think is good news from the state of Indiana and librarians there.

407
00:31:44,10.5309375 --> 00:32:00,490.5329375
Hoosiers suffering mental health crises are visiting public libraries for help, transforming the role of librarians who act simultaneously as, as researchers, as archivists, as, as book guides and, and kind of quasi social workers.

408
00:32:01,50.5329375 --> 00:32:14,553.7628199
So Mental Health of Indiana is stepping in to train librarians on how to respond to these crises and direct patrons with reliable information on suicide prevention, addiction treatment, and mental health disorders.

409
00:32:14,741.2744494 --> 00:32:26,162.8154892
The organization is gonna start training librarians this year following a fifty thousand dollar grant from MolinaCares Accord and Molina Healthcare in partnership with the Indiana Library Federation.

410
00:32:26,172.8164892 --> 00:32:30,202.8154892
So, libraries are, are kind of a center of American life.

411
00:32:30,232.8134892 --> 00:32:36,942.8114892
They, they're one of the last remaining portions of, of the commons in, in the United States of America.

412
00:32:37,362.8144892 --> 00:32:45,422.8174892
They're, they're, they're places where anyone can go, anyone can have access to, and, we have more and more mental health problems.

413
00:32:45,462.8134892 --> 00:32:52,993.9136227
And so librarians, they're being trained for this sort of thing and, and I think on balance that's a, it's a very positive thing.

414
00:32:53,3.9126227 --> 00:32:59,311.8538019
I'm so glad, so glad that this is happening Yeah, just another way libraries are literally helping the community.

415
00:32:59,351.853802 --> 00:32:59,981.8538019
That's great.

416
00:33:00,1.8538019 --> 00:33:02,338.580011
I love that more power to the librarians.

417
00:33:02,338.580011 --> 00:33:10,92.580011
I certainly hope they get paid their cut to actually now turn into, you know, our counselors, 'cause That would be cool.

418
00:33:10,92.580011 --> 00:33:19,261.1983156
If up for that if, if in addition to that training, we could bump their salaries a, a, a little bit since they're doing all this extra work, that would be, that would be pretty good.

419
00:33:19,520.2751494 --> 00:33:34,670.2731494
I am absolutely fine with increasing my tax burden, uh, a little bit in order to make sure that people who do vital services for our community, like librarians, get paid and get what they need to get by themselves.

420
00:33:34,670.2751494 --> 00:33:46,621.7706886
Because they're helping us, we should help them Agreed And there's probably gonna be some people who think that librarians should have guns too, and then it could turn into more of our security resource officer.

421
00:33:47,821.7706886 --> 00:34:00,251.7706886
Totally you remember the old Western movies where, like, there would be, like, a boarding house and, and the, the lady who ran it said, "Okay, you gotta hang up your weapons before you come into dinner"? Maybe that can be like the, uh...

422
00:34:00,281.7706886 --> 00:34:06,211.7696886
what librarians do, you know? Uh, make sure that, like, people, like, don't have weapons, you know.

423
00:34:06,291.7706886 --> 00:34:30,69.5923437
the MAGA people who might, uh, pose a problem are at least, uh, not armed, and armed with knowledge All right, there's a very good point you just made, but if you think somebody as young as Jennifer knows what in the hell you're talking about, about these old boarding house ladies Oh, you must have watched like one or two Western movies back I've seen a few, like spaghetti Western types.

424
00:34:30,501.1001201 --> 00:34:34,514.6899298
So you know what black and white is, Jennifer? I've seen black and white movies.

425
00:34:35,529.8644511 --> 00:34:41,524.6899298
Talkies you see, I'm, I'm an old black and white movie nerd.

426
00:34:41,524.6899298 --> 00:34:48,614.6899298
I g- I watch like movies like Casablanca and, uh, Citizen Kane and s- and stuff like that.

427
00:34:48,664.6899298 --> 00:34:53,114.6909298
But I do l- like old movies, uh, even, even though I'm a lefty Not me.

428
00:34:53,164.6909298 --> 00:34:54,834.6909298
I'm 100% AI.

429
00:34:55,184.6909298 --> 00:34:57,184.6909298
I, I go 100% TikTok now.

430
00:34:57,494.6909298 --> 00:35:00,694.6909298
the longest clip I will ever watch is 14 seconds.

431
00:35:00,724.6909298 --> 00:35:13,340.6899298
I find that nourishes me and I can learn from it That, that accounts for your fractured attention span, which causes you to, to interrupt Jen, you know, every few seconds while you guys are re- are reading the book.

432
00:35:13,370.6909298 --> 00:35:17,884.6909298
I, I get the, I get the idea now I don't get half of the shit she says, Beowulf.

433
00:35:17,884.6909298 --> 00:35:19,484.6909298
It's just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

434
00:35:19,984.6909298 --> 00:35:32,6.370586
Everyone, go find Good News for Lefties wherever you find podcasts Thank you so much, guys Right.

435
00:35:32,56.370586 --> 00:35:35,736.370586
We've caused enough literary chaos for one day, scary book people.

436
00:35:35,746.370586 --> 00:35:39,316.370586
If you want the fun to keep going, follow us on Blue Sky.

437
00:35:39,386.370586 --> 00:35:43,506.370586
Just head on over to bandcamppodcast.com/bluesky,

438
00:35:43,506.370586 --> 00:35:45,786.369586
and remember that's band with two Ns.

439
00:35:46,86.370586 --> 00:35:57,46.370586
And look, just like the Trump administration, we're not exactly above bribing you to get what we want, so follow us there, drop your handle on that page, and we'll send you a little something something.

440
00:35:57,46.370586 --> 00:35:57,996.370586
I think you'll like it.

441
00:35:58,416.370586 --> 00:36:00,316.370586
Yes, little quid pro quo.

442
00:36:00,916.370586 --> 00:36:05,936.369586
Band Camp is produced and hosted by Dan Schultz and me, Jennifer Davis.

443
00:36:06,416.370586 --> 00:36:11,6.369586
All media used in this episode falls under the protection of fair use.

444
00:36:11,216.370586 --> 00:36:15,886.370586
And finally, America isn't what it used to be, so be careful out there.

445
00:36:16,416.370586 --> 00:36:17,996.370586
And resist when it matters.