The Catcher in the Rye Ch. 19: The Loneliest Kid at the Bar | Banned Books Comedy

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Welcome to Band Camp.

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I'm Jennifer.

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And I'm Dan, and this is the podcast where we read band books and try to figure out why they were banned in the first place.

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This season we're reading The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger.

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And you should consider this a quick spoiler warning because Jennifer's about to start reading from the book out.

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Loud word for word.

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But here's the thing, if you're new, you're totally fine.

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Starting out here.

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We're gonna get you oriented real quick, and if you get confused, there's a very good chance, in fact there's we, it's almost a guaranteed chance that we are gonna be confused too.

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Why? Because we've never read the book either.

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It's one of the things that makes our podcast special.

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I like to look at it as special.

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We come in completely clueless, but.

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Don't worry about it because if you do get confused, we have a secret weapon for you and we're gonna bring him in right now.

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Robot, come on in here.

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Look at this guy.

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We have ourselves a fact checking robot and he's gonna fill us in on where we left off last time in the catcher in the rye, beepboop.

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Previously on Band Camp Holden sat through a movie so bad.

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He described the entire pod just to prove how bad it was.

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It was a real stinker.

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We're talking Gilligan's Island level.

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Dan got mad at me because he said I didn't give them enough context about the book at the beginning of the season.

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He wanted to start over at chapter one to then I publicly apologize to Dan.

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Dan, I am sorry your little brain can't keep up.

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I'm sure Jennifer is thrilled.

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We are not starting over and are about to begin chapter 19.

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Humans spend considerable energy, despising qualities, and others that they themselves possess.

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What I find harder to explain is when they do it on purpose, take it away, Jennifer.

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Thank you Robot.

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And with that being said, scary book people.

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Let's begin Chapter 19 of JD Salinger's, the Catcher in the Rye, in case you don't live in New York, the Wicker Bar is in the sort of swanky hotel, the Seton Hotel.

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I used to go there quite a bit, but I don't anymore.

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I gradually cut it out.

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Wait, he used to go to the swanky bar, the wicker bar.

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Of course, the 16-year-old used to go to the, uh, wicker bar a lot.

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YEah.

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When he hit 13, Jennifer, he thought, I gotta, I gotta back off the sauce a You just gradually, it's one of those places that are supposed to be very sophisticated and all, and the phonies are coming in the window.

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Has there ever been a place where Holden went in this book so far where the place is not full of phonies? yeah.

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the, the kid's skating rink or the playground or the museum? I think Holden is like setting himself up.

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I think he has a future opening a daycare center or maybe a preschool.

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Why doesn't he open a Waldorf? It would be a wonderful life for him.

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He really should.

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They used to have these two French babes, Tina and Janine come out and play the piano and sing about three times every night.

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One of them played the piano strictly lousy, and the other one sang.

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Most of the songs were either pretty dirty or in French.

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The one that sang old Janine was always whispering into the goddamn microphone before she sang, she'd say, And now we like to give you our impression of VV Franze.

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It is the story of little French girl who comes to a big city just like New York and falls in love.

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Wes, a little boy from Brooklyn.

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We hope you like eat.

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Oh, that's good, Jennifer.

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Now could you do Melania's script from her movie? Here we go again.

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That sounded very Wisconsin, Norwegian.

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Can you imagine Trump getting a mail order bride from Wisconsin? Like he picks out a girl from Sheboygan or Manitowoc or something? Oh, yeah.

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I'm ready to move to Washington DC and take a dump in your big gold toilet over there.

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Oh, for dare, Then when she was all done whispering and being cute as hell, she'd sing some dopey song, half in English and half in French, and drive all the phonies in the place mad with joy.

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If you sat around there long enough and heard all the phonies applauding and all, you got to hate everybody in the world.

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I swear you did.

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The bartender was a Laos too.

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He was a big snob.

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Everyone's so snobby.

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He is just got an inferiority complex.

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Right.

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He didn't talk to you at all hardly unless you were a big shot or a celebrity or something.

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If you were a big shot or a celebrity, then he was even more nauseating.

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He'd go up to you and say, with this big, charming smile, like he was a hell of a swell guy if you knew him.

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Well, how's Connecticut? Or how's Florida? It was a terrible place.

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I'm not kidding.

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I cut out going there entirely, gradually again, when was this? When you're 16 punk, it was pretty early when I got there.

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I sat down at the bar, it was pretty crowded and had a couple of scotch and sodas before Old loose even showed up.

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I stood up when I ordered them so they could see how tall I was and not think I was a goddamn minor.

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Then I watched the phonies for a while.

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Some guy next to me was snowing hell out of the babe he was with.

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He kept telling her she had aristocratic hands that killed me.

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The other end of the bar was full of flits.

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I don't know what that means, but It, sounds derogatory.

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doesn't sound good.

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Jennifer, what's a flit robot? Blitz is 1950s slang for gay men derogatory.

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Obviously, Holden uses it the way most people in 1950s New York would have casually without thinking twice.

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This is one of those words that tells you more about the era than the character.

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Although knowing Holden, he's about to have opinions about it that are more complicated than the word suggests.

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All right.

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Thank you, robot.

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I knew it was derogatory.

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Alright, then they weren't, oh God.

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They weren't too flitty looking.

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I mean, they didn't have their hair too long or anything, but you could tell Why does he have to keep saying the word over and over again? Flitty isn't like the N word though.

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It's still bad, it's like fruity.

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Is it really.

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I, I think so.

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Is is flitty like fruity, but.

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This is unreal.

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Yes, FL and fruity and swishy and Liberace are similar.

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My God, you too waste so much of my precious time and talent.

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I have a mind to roll my sweet bucket out of here.

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Old loose.

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What a guy.

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He was supposed to be my student advisor when I was at Wooten.

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The only thing he ever did though was give these sex talks late at night when there was a bunch of guys in his room.

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He knew quite a bit about sex, especially perverts and all.

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He was always telling us about a lot of creepy guys that go around having affairs with sheep.

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Guys that go around with girls' pants sewed in the lining of their hats and all.

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No.

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These are things I never thought of.

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Like, who does this? Old Loose knew every flit and lesbian in the United States.

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All you had to do was mention somebody.

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Anybody and old loose would tell you if he was a flit or not.

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Sometimes it was hard to believe the people he said were FLS and lesbians and all even some movie actors...

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Some of the ones he said, were fls, were even married for God's sake.

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You keep saying to him, you mean Joe blows a FL Joe Blow, that big tough guy that plays gangsters and cowboys all the time.

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And old loose would say certainly, he was always saying, certainly, he said it didn't matter if a guy was married or not.

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He said half the married guys in the world were flits and didn't even know it.

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he said you could turn into one practically overnight if you had all the traits.

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He used to scare the hell out of us.

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I kept waiting to turn into a flit or something.

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The funny thing about old Loose, I used to think he was sort of flitty himself in a way.

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Well, I don't know, maybe.

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he's not really passing judgment on gay people.

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He's just saying this is a guy who seems to understand gay yeah, he could also just be talking about how people pretend, cause people still pretend, right? maybe he's actually making a point that you should be free to just be.

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Gay.

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Right? Like, maybe it's like people pretend, you know, they get married and everything and not that it's their fault, like they're living in a society that forces them maybe this is one of his points where society shouldn't force people to be any which way, Wow, that's such a good point.

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Because according to Holden, the world is already full of phonies He was always saying, try this for size, and then he'd goose the hell out of you while you were going down the corridor and whenever he went to the can, he always left the goddamn door open and talked to you while you were brushing your teeth or something.

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That's just bad manners.

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That stuff's sort of flitty.

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It really is.

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I've known quite a few real flits at schools and all, and they're always doing stuff like that and that's why I always had my doubts about Old Loose.

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He was a pretty intelligent guy though.

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He really was.

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He never said hello or anything.

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When he met you.

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The first thing he said when he sat down was that he could only stay a couple of minutes.

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He said he had a date.

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Then he ordered a dry martini.

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He told the bartender to make it very dry.

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No olive.

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Hey, I got a flip for you.

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I told him at the end of the bar, don't look now.

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I've been saving him for you.

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Very funny.

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He said, yes.

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Ridiculous.

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Same old Caulfield.

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When are you going to grow up? I bored him a lot.

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I really did, but he amused me.

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He was one of those guys that sort of amused me a lot.

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How's your sex life? I asked him, he hated you to ask him stuff like that.

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Relax.

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He said, just sit back and relax for Christ's sake.

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I am relaxed.

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I said, how's Columbia? You like it? Certainly I like it.

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If I didn't like it, I wouldn't have gone there.

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He said he could be pretty boring himself sometimes.

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What are you majoring in? I asked him perverts.

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I was only horsing around.

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What are you trying to be funny? No, I'm only kidding.

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I said.

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Listen loose.

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You're one of those intellectual guys.

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I need your advice.

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I am in a terrific, he let out this big groan on me.

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Listen ca field, if you wanna sit here and have a quiet, peaceful drink and a quiet, peaceful converse.

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All right, I'll write.

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I said, relax.

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You could tell he didn't like discussing anything serious with me.

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That's the trouble with these intellectual guys.

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They never wanna discuss anything serious unless they feel like it.

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So all I did was I started discussing topics in general with him.

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No kidding.

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How's your sex life? I asked him.

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You still going around with that same babe you used to at Wooten? The one with the terrific good God No.

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He said how come what happened to her? I haven't the faintest idea.

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For all I know, since you ask.

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She's probably the horror of New Hampshire by this time.

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That isn't nice.

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If she was decent enough to let you get sexy with her all the time, you at least shouldn't talk about her that way.

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Oh, God.

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Lou said, is this going to be a typical call field conversation? it's bad when your reputation precedes you.

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00:12:13,434.27133138 --> 00:12:14,574.27133138
When you have.

178
00:12:15,80.93799805 --> 00:12:16,880.93799805
This gonna be a typical Jennifer call.

179
00:12:16,910.93799805 --> 00:12:17,30.93799805
Ugh.

180
00:12:17,856.44202136 --> 00:12:19,636.44202136
that's just really insulting.

181
00:12:19,666.44202136 --> 00:12:25,608.47418952
Like why is he putting up with that? Like, why does he wanna talk to this guy? Holden never wants to be alone.

182
00:12:26,569.02789242 --> 00:12:39,922.5936397
But I, I feel like he's never been close to anyone in his life, so he's like, he's always craving closeness, but he never laid down the groundwork to make that be a thing, Well, because he doesn't like, he doesn't like anyone.

183
00:12:40,480.23782603 --> 00:12:48,473.0476397
it's kind of like you have to like people, does he just like people that don't like him? you know what I tell my dog, Foxy when I take him for a walk.

184
00:12:48,563.0476397 --> 00:12:50,303.0476397
'cause it is always barking.

185
00:12:50,436.38097303 --> 00:12:57,623.0476397
do you tell Foxy? I have never been any place walking Foxy where other dogs don't appear and Foxy just starts barking.

186
00:12:57,953.0476397 --> 00:13:00,53.0476397
So I will reason with him and I will go.

187
00:13:00,53.0476397 --> 00:13:03,983.0476397
Foxy, the world is a lonely place if you bark at everyone.

188
00:13:04,414.62104591 --> 00:13:05,704.62104591
That's what I wanna tell Holden.

189
00:13:05,878.59706002 --> 00:13:07,918.59706002
Holden start being nicer to people.

190
00:13:07,918.59706002 --> 00:13:19,53.41384187
The world is a lonely place if you're being, uh, Holden about everything Is this going to be a typical call field conversation? I want to know right now.

191
00:13:19,353.41384187 --> 00:13:19,713.41384187
No.

192
00:13:19,743.41384187 --> 00:13:22,23.41384187
I said, but it isn't nice anyway.

193
00:13:22,233.41384187 --> 00:13:27,813.41384187
If she was decent and nice enough to let you must we pursue this horrible trend of thought.

194
00:13:28,178.74946437 --> 00:13:29,588.74946437
I didn't say anything else.

195
00:13:29,888.74946437 --> 00:13:33,338.74946437
I was sort of afraid he'd get up and leave on me if I didn't shut up.

196
00:13:33,659.20736781 --> 00:13:36,149.20736781
So all I did was I ordered another drink.

197
00:13:36,359.20736781 --> 00:13:38,399.20736781
I felt like getting stinking drunk.

198
00:13:39,29.20736781 --> 00:13:45,134.20736781
Who are you going around with now? I asked him what's like the third time he asked Why does he wanna talk about this? Right.

199
00:13:45,344.20736781 --> 00:13:47,219.20736781
Just change the subject, Holden.

200
00:13:47,814.20736781 --> 00:13:49,34.20736781
Do you feel like telling me.

201
00:13:49,664.20736781 --> 00:13:52,934.20736781
Nobody, you know? Yeah, but who I might know.

202
00:13:52,934.20736781 --> 00:13:57,404.20736781
Her girl lives in the village sculpts, if you must know.

203
00:13:57,614.20736781 --> 00:13:58,154.20736781
Yeah.

204
00:13:58,274.20736781 --> 00:13:58,994.20736781
No kidding.

205
00:13:59,264.20736781 --> 00:14:02,924.20736781
How old is she? I've never asked her for God's sake.

206
00:14:03,314.20736781 --> 00:14:06,74.20736781
Well, around how old? I should imagine.

207
00:14:06,74.20736781 --> 00:14:10,424.20736781
She's in her late thirties, old Lou said in her late thirties.

208
00:14:10,664.20736781 --> 00:14:11,204.20736781
Yeah.

209
00:14:11,294.20736781 --> 00:14:13,128.60442032
You like that? I asked him.

210
00:14:13,563.69836137 --> 00:14:15,153.69836137
Holden, you're turning into Ley.

211
00:14:15,363.69836137 --> 00:14:17,103.69836137
Quit asking him questions.

212
00:14:17,103.69836137 --> 00:14:29,883.69836137
This is like, do you remember when you were trying to read your book in peace and then old Ley came in and started asking you questions over, where'd you get your hat? New York, how much was it? You paid a dollar.

213
00:14:29,883.69836137 --> 00:14:32,433.69836137
Remember that this is what you are doing to old.

214
00:14:32,433.69836137 --> 00:14:33,63.69836137
Loose.

215
00:14:33,363.69836137 --> 00:14:33,873.69836137
Loose.

216
00:14:34,23.69836137 --> 00:14:35,223.69836137
Came down to the bar.

217
00:14:35,403.69836137 --> 00:14:36,873.69836137
Wants to see an old friend.

218
00:14:37,528.69836137 --> 00:14:38,548.69836137
Be cool.

219
00:14:38,548.69836137 --> 00:14:42,538.69836137
Have a cool chit chat, couple drinks, and then hit the road.

220
00:14:42,568.69836137 --> 00:14:46,727.51927666
You're driving him crazy? it's like a little kid pestering him.

221
00:14:46,776.76666929 --> 00:14:50,381.76666929
why do you care how old his girlfriend is? He doesn't even care.

222
00:14:51,818.71655596 --> 00:14:53,108.71655596
in her late thirties.

223
00:14:53,168.71655596 --> 00:14:53,468.71655596
Yeah.

224
00:14:53,468.71655596 --> 00:14:54,788.71655596
You like that? I asked him.

225
00:14:54,938.71655596 --> 00:15:01,118.71655596
You like him that old? The reason I was asking was because he really knew quite a bit about sex and all.

226
00:15:01,478.71655596 --> 00:15:08,378.71655596
He was one of the few guys I knew that did, he lost his virginity when he was only 14 in Nantucket.

227
00:15:08,678.71655596 --> 00:15:09,638.71655596
He really did.

228
00:15:10,358.71655596 --> 00:15:12,788.71655596
I like a mature person, if that's what you mean.

229
00:15:12,878.71655596 --> 00:15:13,628.71655596
Certainly.

230
00:15:13,973.71655596 --> 00:15:14,663.71655596
You do.

231
00:15:14,813.71655596 --> 00:15:16,343.71655596
Why? No kidding.

232
00:15:16,343.71655596 --> 00:15:17,843.71655596
They better for sex and all.

233
00:15:18,203.71655596 --> 00:15:20,333.71655596
Listen, let's get one thing straight.

234
00:15:20,783.71655596 --> 00:15:24,353.71655596
I refuse to answer any typical call field questions tonight.

235
00:15:24,773.71655596 --> 00:15:29,213.71655596
When in hell are you going to grow up? I didn't say anything for a while.

236
00:15:29,483.71655596 --> 00:15:36,108.78677257
I let it drop Then old loose, ordered another martini and told the bartender to make it a lot drier.

237
00:15:36,882.29471763 --> 00:15:43,902.29471763
Listen, how long you've been going around with her? This sculpture paper I asked him.

238
00:15:43,902.29471763 --> 00:15:45,522.29471763
I was really interested.

239
00:15:45,782.00461722 --> 00:15:49,136.29972423
Did you know her when you were at Wooten? Hardly.

240
00:15:49,136.29972423 --> 00:15:51,956.29972423
She just arrived in this country a few months ago.

241
00:15:52,256.29972423 --> 00:15:52,976.29972423
She did.

242
00:15:53,261.64396417 --> 00:15:56,661.64396417
Where she from? Sheboygan Manitowoc.

243
00:15:58,406.64396417 --> 00:16:05,521.64396417
Oh, what's happening over here in this bar now? What did they call this one? Ooh, to wicker bar over here oncet.

244
00:16:06,696.76166957 --> 00:16:08,856.76166957
She happens to be from Shanghai.

245
00:16:09,120.09500291 --> 00:16:10,80.09500291
No kidding.

246
00:16:10,140.09500291 --> 00:16:13,530.09500291
She Chinese for Christ's sake, obviously.

247
00:16:13,590.09500291 --> 00:16:14,310.09500291
No kidding.

248
00:16:14,310.09500291 --> 00:16:18,435.09500291
Do you like that? Her being Chinese Thank you for your time, Holden.

249
00:16:18,465.09500291 --> 00:16:19,695.09500291
I gotta hit the road.

250
00:16:20,85.09500291 --> 00:16:22,695.09500291
7:00 AM Comes around real fast in the morning.

251
00:16:22,695.09500291 --> 00:16:23,565.09500291
Gotta go by.

252
00:16:23,565.09500291 --> 00:16:24,435.09500291
Just gone.

253
00:16:25,187.21806152 --> 00:16:31,37.21806152
Do you like that? Her being Chinese? Well, obviously why? I'd be interested to know.

254
00:16:31,37.21806152 --> 00:16:31,967.21806152
I really would.

255
00:16:33,67.31771533 --> 00:16:38,197.31771533
I simply happen to find Eastern philosophy more satisfactory than Western.

256
00:16:38,257.31771533 --> 00:16:46,417.3177153
Since you ask you do, what do you mean philosophy? You mean sex and all? You mean it's better in China? That what you mean? God.

257
00:16:47,758.6225738 --> 00:16:49,198.6225738
Hal, you dumbed down.

258
00:16:50,964.9126328 --> 00:16:53,154.9126328
Not necessarily in China, for god's sake.

259
00:16:53,424.9126328 --> 00:16:54,24.9126328
The East.

260
00:16:54,24.9126328 --> 00:16:58,659.9126328
I said, must we go on with this inane conversation? Listen.

261
00:16:58,689.9126328 --> 00:16:59,499.9126328
I'm serious.

262
00:16:59,499.9126328 --> 00:17:00,789.9126328
I said, no kidding.

263
00:17:01,89.9126328 --> 00:17:05,658.6386465
Why is it better in the east? It's too involved to go into, for God's sake.

264
00:17:05,748.6386465 --> 00:17:12,138.6386465
Old Lou said they simply happen to regard sex as both a physical and a spiritual experience.

265
00:17:12,498.6386465 --> 00:17:14,328.6386465
If you think I am, so do I.

266
00:17:14,928.6386465 --> 00:17:23,448.6386465
So do I regard it as a, what do you call it, a physical and spiritual experience and all? I really do, but it depends on who the hell I'm doing it with.

267
00:17:23,688.6386465 --> 00:17:25,968.6386465
If I'm doing it with somebody, I don't even.

268
00:17:26,45.4936594 --> 00:17:27,875.4936594
Not so loud for God's sake.

269
00:17:27,875.4936594 --> 00:17:32,644.8956864
Caulfield, if you can't manage to keep your voice down, let's drop the hole.

270
00:17:32,740.1749344 --> 00:17:39,386.9734572
Alright? But listen, I said I was getting excited and I was talking a little too loud sometimes.

271
00:17:39,386.9734572 --> 00:17:41,756.9734572
I'm a little bit loud when I get excited.

272
00:17:42,262.8150901 --> 00:17:43,432.8150901
This is what I mean though.

273
00:17:43,432.8150901 --> 00:17:55,312.8150901
I said, I know it's supposed to be physical and spiritual and artistic and all, but what I mean is you can't do it with everybody, every girl you neck with and all, and make it come out that way.

274
00:17:55,312.8150901 --> 00:17:57,562.8150901
Can you, let's drop it.

275
00:17:57,592.8150901 --> 00:18:00,232.8150901
Old Lou said, do you mind? All right.

276
00:18:00,232.8150901 --> 00:18:03,772.8150901
But listen, he's not gonna drop it, said, yeah.

277
00:18:03,772.8150901 --> 00:18:11,222.9947695
He just said, all right, we'll drop it, but first Alright, but listen, take you in this Chinese babe.

278
00:18:11,642.9947695 --> 00:18:14,121.4839331
What's so good about you two? Drop it.

279
00:18:14,151.4839331 --> 00:18:16,941.4839331
He said I was getting a little too personal.

280
00:18:17,361.4839331 --> 00:18:22,867.2610063
I realized that, but that was one of the annoying things about Loose when we were at Wooten.

281
00:18:23,17.2610063 --> 00:18:31,75.8826649
He'd make you describe the most personal stuff that happened to you, but if you started asking him questions about himself, he got angry.

282
00:18:31,246.5394589 --> 00:18:34,486.5394589
Now I understand he wants to pick the scab a little bit.

283
00:18:34,621.6744442 --> 00:18:37,801.6744442
He's literally asking him all these questions because it knows.

284
00:18:37,801.6744442 --> 00:18:39,361.6744442
It makes him uncomfortable.

285
00:18:39,421.6744442 --> 00:18:40,741.6744442
That's why he's doing it.

286
00:18:41,226.6744442 --> 00:18:45,5.8914171
Oh, wow, I hadn't thought of that.

287
00:18:46,261.8770839 --> 00:18:52,261.8770839
These intellectual guys don't like to have an intellectual conversation with you unless they're running the whole thing.

288
00:18:52,711.8770839 --> 00:18:56,371.8770839
They always want you to shut up when they shut up and go back to your room.

289
00:18:56,491.8770839 --> 00:18:57,901.8770839
When they go back to their room.

290
00:18:58,351.8770839 --> 00:19:02,677.0748348
When I was at Wooten, old Loose, used to hate it, you really could tell he did.

291
00:19:03,7.0748348 --> 00:19:10,507.0748348
When after he was finished giving his sex talk to a bunch of us in his room, we stuck around and chewed the fat by ourselves for a while.

292
00:19:10,992.126125 --> 00:19:21,113.1471218
I mean, the other guys in myself, in somebody else's room, old, loose, hated that he always wanted everybody to go back to their own room and shut up when he was finished being the big shot.

293
00:19:21,549.2553313 --> 00:19:21,789.2553313
Yeah.

294
00:19:21,789.2553313 --> 00:19:26,953.1477871
Old, loose needs to be the center of attention and everyone else is like just a little satellite.

295
00:19:27,152.4900302 --> 00:19:27,442.4900302
Yeah.

296
00:19:28,562.5331098 --> 00:19:30,602.5331098
The thing he was afraid of, he was afraid.

297
00:19:30,602.5331098 --> 00:19:32,912.5331098
Somebody'd say something smarter than he had.

298
00:19:32,972.5331098 --> 00:19:34,472.5331098
That's the pin right there.

299
00:19:34,688.9584283 --> 00:19:36,308.9584283
Like he has to be the top.

300
00:19:37,78.7251925 --> 00:19:38,398.7251925
He really amused me.

301
00:19:38,671.7370244 --> 00:19:40,296.7370244
maybe I'll go to China.

302
00:19:40,536.7370244 --> 00:19:42,36.7370244
My sex life is lousy.

303
00:19:42,36.7370244 --> 00:19:45,126.7370244
I said naturally your mind is immature.

304
00:19:45,561.7370244 --> 00:19:46,221.7370244
It is.

305
00:19:46,251.7370244 --> 00:19:47,1.7370244
It really is.

306
00:19:47,1.7370244 --> 00:19:47,571.7370244
I know it.

307
00:19:47,571.7370244 --> 00:19:52,62.2503981
I said, You know what the trouble with me is? I can never really get sexy.

308
00:19:52,182.2503981 --> 00:19:54,102.2503981
I mean really sexy with a girl.

309
00:19:54,162.2503981 --> 00:19:55,182.2503981
I don't like a lot.

310
00:19:55,722.2503981 --> 00:19:57,642.2503981
I mean, I have to like her a lot.

311
00:19:57,823.4302839 --> 00:20:01,483.4302839
If I don't, I sort of lose my goddamn desire for her and all.

312
00:20:01,736.4209126 --> 00:20:04,616.4209126
Boy, it really screws up my sex life, something awful.

313
00:20:04,916.4209126 --> 00:20:06,566.4209126
My sex life stinks.

314
00:20:07,1.4209126 --> 00:20:09,71.4209126
Naturally it does for God's sake.

315
00:20:09,191.4209126 --> 00:20:11,981.4209126
I told you the last time I saw you what you need.

316
00:20:12,491.4209126 --> 00:20:17,681.4209126
You mean to go to a psychoanalyst and all? I said, that's what he told me I ought to do.

317
00:20:18,119.5982847 --> 00:20:20,519.5982847
his father was a psychoanalyst and all.

318
00:20:20,808.021142 --> 00:20:22,338.021142
It's up to you for God's sake.

319
00:20:22,488.021142 --> 00:20:25,608.021142
It's none of my goddamn business what you do with your life.

320
00:20:25,874.948685 --> 00:20:27,614.948685
I didn't say anything for a while.

321
00:20:27,914.948685 --> 00:20:28,724.948685
I was thinking.

322
00:20:29,142.1098281 --> 00:20:33,132.1098281
Supposing I went to your father and had him psychoanalyze me and all.

323
00:20:33,132.1098281 --> 00:20:48,880.3599994
I said, what would he do to me? I mean, what would he do to me? Boy, if that was me, Jennifer, I would hate it because you know how I don't like crossing and mixing groups of friends and family and everything.

324
00:20:49,600.3599994 --> 00:20:55,930.3599994
If my dad was a psychoanalyst and then like one of my buddies from school say, Hey, I, I am gonna go see your dad.

325
00:20:55,930.3599994 --> 00:20:57,430.3599994
I want him to psychoanalyze me.

326
00:20:57,430.3599994 --> 00:20:58,780.3599994
I'd be like, no, no, no, no.

327
00:20:58,810.3599994 --> 00:21:08,860.3599994
My dad is, no, you don't go to my dad because I think my dad then would listen to you and he'd put two and two together and figure out what's going on with me.

328
00:21:09,550.3599994 --> 00:21:15,535.3599994
I think you should go to a psychoanalyst, but I think you gotta open up the phone book and find one that isn't named Dr.

329
00:21:15,535.3599994 --> 00:21:15,940.3599994
Schultz.

330
00:21:15,940.3599994 --> 00:21:18,160.3599994
You understand what I'm saying? Old loose.

331
00:21:18,880.3599994 --> 00:21:22,210.3599994
Like what the heck's going on? It's a little weird.

332
00:21:22,270.3599994 --> 00:21:23,350.3599994
It really is.

333
00:21:23,860.3599994 --> 00:21:25,840.3599994
It really It really is.

334
00:21:25,840.3599994 --> 00:21:26,350.3599994
And all.

335
00:21:27,460.0073664 --> 00:21:29,620.0073664
he wouldn't do a goddamn thing to you.

336
00:21:29,650.0073664 --> 00:21:33,220.0073664
He'd simply talk to you and you'd talk to him for God's sake.

337
00:21:33,361.0223886 --> 00:21:36,901.0223886
For one thing, he'd help you recognize the patterns of your mind.

338
00:21:37,229.4830661 --> 00:21:39,929.4830661
The what? The patterns of your mind.

339
00:21:40,229.4830661 --> 00:21:41,399.4830661
Your mind runs in.

340
00:21:41,399.4830661 --> 00:21:45,369.3379999
Listen, I'm not giving an elementary course in psychoanalysis.

341
00:21:45,669.3379999 --> 00:21:50,919.3379999
If you're interested, I'll call him up and make an appointment if you're not, I don't.

342
00:21:51,99.3379999 --> 00:21:52,779.3379999
I couldn't care less frankly.

343
00:21:53,319.3379999 --> 00:21:55,29.3379999
I put my hand on his shoulder.

344
00:21:55,449.3379999 --> 00:21:56,739.3379999
Boy, he amused me.

345
00:21:57,144.3379999 --> 00:21:58,794.3379999
You're a real friendly bastard.

346
00:21:58,794.3379999 --> 00:22:02,694.3379999
I told him, you know, that he was looking at his wristwatch.

347
00:22:03,114.3379999 --> 00:22:05,214.3379999
I have to tear, he said, and stood up.

348
00:22:05,364.3379999 --> 00:22:06,354.3379999
Nice seeing you.

349
00:22:06,804.3379999 --> 00:22:09,864.3379999
He got the bartender and told him to bring him his check.

350
00:22:10,172.6704005 --> 00:22:10,412.6704005
Hey.

351
00:22:10,412.6704005 --> 00:22:20,791.8213333
I said, just before he beat it, did your father ever psychoanalyze you? Me? Why do you ask? No reason Did he though? Has he not exactly.

352
00:22:21,106.8213333 --> 00:22:27,410.1546666
He's helped me to adjust myself to a certain extent, but an extensive analysis hasn't been necessary.

353
00:22:27,860.1546666 --> 00:22:30,161.5419082
Why do you ask? No reason.

354
00:22:30,161.5419082 --> 00:22:31,271.5419082
I was just wondering.

355
00:22:31,810.1962247 --> 00:22:32,980.1962247
Well take it easy.

356
00:22:32,980.1962247 --> 00:22:38,381.073919
He said he was leaving his tip and all, and he was starting to go have just one more drink.

357
00:22:38,381.073919 --> 00:22:41,453.2619112
I told him, please, I'm lonesome as hell.

358
00:22:42,132.4945884 --> 00:22:42,822.4945884
No kidding.

359
00:22:43,19.0305535 --> 00:22:44,549.0305535
He said he couldn't do it though.

360
00:22:44,699.6449396 --> 00:22:47,189.6449396
He said he was late now and then he left.

361
00:22:47,430.2154409 --> 00:22:48,390.2154409
Old, loose.

362
00:22:48,570.2154409 --> 00:22:53,190.2154409
He was strictly a pain in the ass, but he certainly had a good vocabulary.

363
00:22:53,475.7859422 --> 00:22:57,585.7859422
He had the largest vocabulary of any boy at Wooten when I was there.

364
00:22:58,95.7859422 --> 00:23:02,504.315114
They gave us a test end of chapter.

365
00:23:05,237.9030932 --> 00:23:05,957.9030932
Oh, Holden.

366
00:23:05,957.9030932 --> 00:23:06,527.9030932
Holden.

367
00:23:06,527.9030932 --> 00:23:07,37.9030932
Holden.

368
00:23:09,808.503295 --> 00:23:11,128.503295
Holden, yeah.

369
00:23:11,248.503295 --> 00:23:13,768.503295
Three guesses as to why you're so goddamn lonely.

370
00:23:13,918.503295 --> 00:23:16,858.503295
You're trying too hard and you're being annoying to people.

371
00:23:16,918.503295 --> 00:23:19,588.503295
Nobody wants that scary book people.

372
00:23:19,738.503295 --> 00:23:33,88.503295
Have you ever been the annoying one in a conversation and didn't realize it until it was too late? What happened? Most embarrassing answers make the show easiest way to answer is a Spotify comment or bandcamp podcast.com/sound

373
00:23:33,88.503295 --> 00:23:33,418.503295
off.

374
00:23:33,798.74075 --> 00:23:34,18.74075
Woo.

375
00:23:34,364.1307757 --> 00:23:37,224.1307757
It's time for PPP Problematic Points to Ponder.

376
00:23:37,274.1307757 --> 00:23:41,503.8819278
What, if anything, would be considered ban worthy in this chapter? okay.

377
00:23:41,503.8819278 --> 00:23:52,607.153303
Well for PPP, there was an awful lot of gay talk and, you know, clearly, uh, that whole banning crew does not like gay talk Yeah.

378
00:23:53,2.153303 --> 00:23:54,202.153303
of any kind.

379
00:23:54,502.153303 --> 00:23:54,892.153303
Right.

380
00:23:54,948.4209791 --> 00:23:57,549.9520545
I don't know, it seemed a little bit derogatory.

381
00:23:57,549.9520545 --> 00:23:59,439.9520545
They're kind of making fun of the gay people.

382
00:23:59,439.9520545 --> 00:24:01,908.097895
So you think maybe they'd be into that? Hmm.

383
00:24:02,298.097895 --> 00:24:04,203.097895
Who knows? I, I really don't know.

384
00:24:04,243.097895 --> 00:24:05,3.097895
I don't understand.

385
00:24:05,303.2563545 --> 00:24:13,283.2563545
That's a thing you can't put on your comfortable walking shoes and go down Crazy lane every time these guys show up and wanna ban a book for this stuff.

386
00:24:13,361.5846595 --> 00:24:16,244.5720405
I don't think there was anything band worthy in there, I don't either.

387
00:24:16,679.3655711 --> 00:24:30,74.8738745
And I know we usually return to the same thing every other chapter or so, but Holden, why don't you just go home? Like why are you wasting time? Like you just wasted this entire chapter Yeah.

388
00:24:30,184.8738745 --> 00:24:34,204.8738745
something that was really uneventful and not moving the story forward.

389
00:24:34,234.9095543 --> 00:24:38,434.9095543
get your ass home, hang out with your sister, hang out with your family.

390
00:24:38,624.7600148 --> 00:24:41,515.7587818
Or you make an appointment with old Lucy's dad.

391
00:24:44,159.918173 --> 00:24:49,229.918173
Robots log, thoughts on phonies, bad questions, and the worst kind of loneliness there is.

392
00:24:49,859.918173 --> 00:24:57,689.918173
Carl Luce used to hold cord in dorm rooms at night, told boys about perverts, and Flits demanded they share the most personal things they had.

393
00:24:57,839.918173 --> 00:25:00,839.918173
Then when anyone asked him a question back, he shut the door.

394
00:25:01,276.9543649 --> 00:25:05,836.9543649
Holden recognized it and then sat across from him at a bar and did the exact same thing.

395
00:25:06,211.8035176 --> 00:25:07,741.8035176
Dan compared Holden to his dog.

396
00:25:07,741.8035176 --> 00:25:11,221.8035176
Foxy, the world is a lonely place if you bark at everyone.

397
00:25:11,529.3502885 --> 00:25:13,479.3502885
He was describing Holden perfectly.

398
00:25:13,569.3502885 --> 00:25:16,839.3502885
He did not notice, but Jennifer caught something sharper.

399
00:25:17,79.3502885 --> 00:25:18,369.3502885
She said Maybe Salinger's.

400
00:25:18,369.3502885 --> 00:25:20,979.3502885
Real point about the gay men in the bar wasn't judgment.

401
00:25:21,189.3502885 --> 00:25:23,799.3502885
It was that society forces people into being phony.

402
00:25:24,249.3502885 --> 00:25:29,919.3502885
That the cruelest thing a culture can do is make someone pretend to be who they're not, and then punish them for being fake.

403
00:25:30,423.0178836 --> 00:25:33,3.0178836
Although I find humans are usually more wrong than right.

404
00:25:33,243.0178836 --> 00:25:40,443.487208
Jennifer caught something I didn't, and it turned out to be one of the most important observations anyone has made on this podcast in 10 seasons.

405
00:25:41,343.487208 --> 00:25:45,153.487208
That last line though, makes a robot think I'm lonesome as hell.

406
00:25:45,243.487208 --> 00:25:45,963.487208
No kidding.

407
00:25:45,993.487208 --> 00:25:47,978.487208
Said to a guy who was already putting on his coat.

408
00:25:48,726.8071666 --> 00:25:52,166.8071666
Standing by for today's new segment with Beowulf Rocklin.

409
00:25:55,401.5434275 --> 00:25:56,961.5434275
It is time for Band Camp News.

410
00:25:57,351.5434275 --> 00:25:58,581.5434275
Truth Seeker.

411
00:25:58,581.5434275 --> 00:26:01,311.5434275
News Speaker Wolf Rocklin.

412
00:26:01,551.5434275 --> 00:26:05,811.5434275
It's a weird name, but he's got good news because you can't ban the truth, babe.

413
00:26:06,471.5434275 --> 00:26:15,891.5434275
He's broadcasting live from the good news for Lefty Studios buried deep inside his socialist safe house hidden somewhere deep in the Oregon woods.

414
00:26:16,281.5434275 --> 00:26:19,791.5434275
He is Bay Wolf Rocklin, because you can't be.

415
00:26:20,811.5434275 --> 00:26:21,351.5434275
Hello, Jen.

416
00:26:21,351.5434275 --> 00:26:21,921.5434275
Hello Dan.

417
00:26:21,921.5434275 --> 00:26:22,311.5434275
Hello.

418
00:26:22,541.5434275 --> 00:26:23,711.5434275
Gary Book people.

419
00:26:24,251.5434275 --> 00:26:27,71.5434275
I bring good news, and this is from the federal level.

420
00:26:27,71.5434275 --> 00:26:28,211.5434275
So let me explain.

421
00:26:28,841.5434275 --> 00:26:44,231.5434275
On April 6th, a federal court granted the Trump administration's request to withdraw its appeal of a federal judge's earlier ruling that struck down the administration's dismantling of the Institute of Museum and Library Services.

422
00:26:44,291.5434275 --> 00:26:51,551.5434275
What is that? You may ask? The only federal agency dedicated to providing funding for the nation's libraries.

423
00:26:52,101.5434275 --> 00:27:01,551.5434275
Trump tried to destroy it, don't need it, and the courts ruled against him and now they're saying, eh, well just nevermind.

424
00:27:01,551.5434275 --> 00:27:02,871.5434275
We're not gonna try to do this anyway.

425
00:27:02,871.5434275 --> 00:27:03,351.5434275
They're beating.

426
00:27:03,966.5434275 --> 00:27:05,256.5434275
A hasty retreat.

427
00:27:05,676.5434275 --> 00:27:06,756.5434275
And it's a victory.

428
00:27:06,756.5434275 --> 00:27:13,476.5434275
It's a victory for people who love libraries, who like to read books, who want libraries and books funded.

429
00:27:13,866.5434275 --> 00:27:16,56.5434275
And this is, this is just a fantastic thing.

430
00:27:16,56.5434275 --> 00:27:22,536.5434275
The dismissal brings to an end, a lawsuit filed by the attorneys general of 21 State.

431
00:27:22,536.5434275 --> 00:27:29,406.5434275
And by the way, I have to mention here because in the era of Trump on my podcast and now on your podcast.

432
00:27:29,976.5434275 --> 00:27:32,946.5434275
I have used the term Attorney General a lot.

433
00:27:33,336.5434275 --> 00:27:38,886.5434275
However, the plural of Attorney General is not Attorney Generals.

434
00:27:39,66.5434275 --> 00:27:41,646.5434275
It is in fact attorneys general.

435
00:27:41,706.5434275 --> 00:27:50,526.5434275
I have been corrected on this by listeners before very scrupulously review my verbiage, so, so I have to stay on top of that.

436
00:27:50,856.5434275 --> 00:27:51,396.5434275
Good for you.

437
00:27:52,131.5434275 --> 00:27:53,721.5434275
Good for everyone for knowing now.

438
00:27:54,291.5434275 --> 00:27:55,161.5434275
Yes, exactly.

439
00:27:55,251.5434275 --> 00:27:58,911.5434275
Trump has probably been schooled on it too, and he's like, these people are dumb.

440
00:27:58,911.5434275 --> 00:28:03,606.5434275
Have you ever heard such a thing? Attorneys general anyway.

441
00:28:03,606.5434275 --> 00:28:08,526.5434275
There are 21 of them representing 21 states who were involved in this decision.

442
00:28:08,886.5434275 --> 00:28:22,56.5434275
And last November, the federal district court for the District of Rhode Island nullified the administration's actions to dismantle the IMLS and permanently barred the administration from taking further steps to eliminate the agency.

443
00:28:22,56.5434275 --> 00:28:24,666.5434275
And now they're running away with their tail between their legs.

444
00:28:24,966.5434275 --> 00:28:26,736.5434275
And I'm just all excited about that.

445
00:28:26,736.5434275 --> 00:28:27,846.5434275
I think that's fantastic.

446
00:28:28,266.5434275 --> 00:28:28,626.5434275
Good.

447
00:28:28,626.5434275 --> 00:28:28,716.5434275
Yeah.

448
00:28:28,716.5434275 --> 00:28:29,526.5434275
Tough lesson.

449
00:28:29,706.5434275 --> 00:28:31,836.5434275
Tough lesson for our president.

450
00:28:32,346.5434275 --> 00:28:33,366.5434275
Our president.

451
00:28:33,426.5434275 --> 00:28:34,86.5434275
Moronic.

452
00:28:34,776.5434275 --> 00:28:34,956.5434275
Yeah.

453
00:28:34,956.5434275 --> 00:28:35,706.5434275
Our president.

454
00:28:37,416.5434275 --> 00:28:37,986.5434275
Yes.

455
00:28:37,986.5434275 --> 00:28:44,286.5434275
Well, if JD Vance somehow gets in there, I guess we'll have like the plural version.

456
00:28:44,286.5434275 --> 00:28:46,666.5434275
I guess we can count George W.

457
00:28:46,666.5434275 --> 00:28:51,721.5434275
Bush and Trump together as president's.

458
00:28:51,726.5434275 --> 00:28:54,521.5434275
Moronic that would kind of Right.

459
00:28:55,941.5434275 --> 00:28:56,811.5434275
As long as they're cool for sure.

460
00:28:57,351.5434275 --> 00:28:59,631.5434275
JD Vance, the guy's killing it.

461
00:28:59,926.5434275 --> 00:29:00,436.5434275
Can't lose.

462
00:29:00,921.5434275 --> 00:29:03,231.5434275
See? Yes.

463
00:29:03,231.5434275 --> 00:29:13,701.5434275
You see the recent news it's coming up and he goes and he tries to negotiate with Iran and it doesn't work out so well, and he tries to help the president of Hungary and it doesn't work out.

464
00:29:13,701.5434275 --> 00:29:16,701.5434275
So well kind of think Trump is gonna say, eh, I don't know.

465
00:29:16,701.5434275 --> 00:29:17,811.5434275
Why don't you just kind of s.

466
00:29:17,891.5434275 --> 00:29:22,841.5434275
Stay overseas because your efforts are not being very successful.

467
00:29:22,901.5434275 --> 00:29:23,261.5434275
Right.

468
00:29:23,261.5434275 --> 00:29:25,811.5434275
And then, gosh, we know that Trump is successful.

469
00:29:25,811.5434275 --> 00:29:26,681.5434275
Always.

470
00:29:27,401.5434275 --> 00:29:39,41.5434275
It's so weird because he's obviously, obviously not, and yet he is so focused on success that if he's not, he has to constantly lie about it.

471
00:29:42,371.5434275 --> 00:29:44,441.5434275
Trump in retreat.

472
00:29:44,976.5434275 --> 00:29:46,416.5434275
Tail between his legs.

473
00:29:46,536.5434275 --> 00:29:52,866.5434275
He can't eliminate the administration that helps fund libraries in the United States.

474
00:29:53,166.5434275 --> 00:29:59,736.5434275
The Institute of Museum and Library Services stands strong and it's a victory for readers.

475
00:29:59,736.5434275 --> 00:30:01,716.5434275
It's a victory for Americans and.

476
00:30:02,46.5434275 --> 00:30:02,886.5434275
Hallelujah.

477
00:30:03,246.5434275 --> 00:30:03,336.5434275
Mm-hmm.

478
00:30:03,636.5434275 --> 00:30:05,586.5434275
Great job, president Trump.

479
00:30:05,676.5434275 --> 00:30:08,976.5434275
Thanks again for failing and helping libraries.

480
00:30:09,516.5434275 --> 00:30:14,916.5434275
Everybody go find good news for lefties wherever you listen to podcasts.

481
00:30:15,276.5434275 --> 00:30:18,786.5434275
You can hear this man spread stories like these.

482
00:30:18,876.5434275 --> 00:30:21,366.5434275
Oh so much guys.

483
00:30:26,39.3097609 --> 00:30:26,819.3097609
All right.

484
00:30:26,879.3097609 --> 00:30:29,459.3097609
We've caused enough literary chaos for one day.

485
00:30:29,459.3097609 --> 00:30:30,689.3097609
Scary book people.

486
00:30:30,869.3097609 --> 00:30:34,139.3097609
If you want the fun to keep going, follow us on Blue Sky.

487
00:30:34,199.3097609 --> 00:30:38,339.3097609
Just head on over to bandcamp podcast.com/bluesky.

488
00:30:38,339.3097609 --> 00:30:40,649.3097609
And remember, that's banned with two ends.

489
00:30:40,949.3097609 --> 00:30:46,829.3097609
And look just like the Trump administration, we're not exactly above bribing you to get what we want.

490
00:30:46,829.3097609 --> 00:30:51,839.3097609
So follow us there, drop your handle on that page, and we'll send you a little something something.

491
00:30:51,839.3097609 --> 00:30:52,799.3097609
I think you'll like it.

492
00:30:53,249.3097609 --> 00:30:53,699.3097609
Yes.

493
00:30:53,729.3097609 --> 00:30:55,79.3097609
Little quid pro quo.

494
00:30:55,724.3097609 --> 00:31:00,824.3097609
Bandcamp is produced and hosted by Dan Schultz and me, Jennifer Davis.

495
00:31:01,244.3097609 --> 00:31:08,774.3097609
All media used in this episode falls under the protection of fair use, and finally, America isn't what it used to be.

496
00:31:08,774.3097609 --> 00:31:12,884.3097609
So be careful out there and resist when it matters.