not everyone gets here. this is our secret recording booth for scary book people who stick around after the credits. every week, we drop in a hidden easter egg that only the diehards hear:

👉 the biggest threat to free speech & democracy this week is…

this is your chance to rant, roast, or rally. if we love it, your voice goes straight into the show — forever preserved as a secret easter egg for thousands of fellow scary book people to hear.

⬇️ your private mic is right here ⬇️

here’s how to make it count:

  • 🎙️ start with your name (first name only is fine — or go full superhero alias)
  • ⚡ call out the person, group, or nonsense threatening free speech & democracy this week
  • 🤬 swear if you want. be funny if you want. just keep it short, sharp, and raw

🧢 Example from Randy in Texas:

“Jen, Dan and Robot… I’m Randy from Austin, Texas. The biggest threat to free speech and democracy this week is Donald fucking Trump. His FCC stooge leaned on Disney to cancel Jimmy Kimmel because Jimmy hurt his feelings. That’s some North Korea-level shit right there. Comedians get to make fun of you. That’s free speech. So yeah… fuck Trump, and long live Jimmy.”

(we’ll bleep strong language if needed — yeah, ironic for a podcast about censorship, we know. but keeping it clean means Apple & Spotify don’t censor the entire show. better a bleep than your rant disappearing 🔥)

✅ not happy with your first take? no problem — you can re-record as many times as you like before sending.
🎧 and relax: it’s audio-only. no camera, no pressure. just your voice.
🤖 if we use your clip, Robot himself will introduce you. yes… Robot will literally say your name.